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No, the worst thing one can say to a child is, "I wish you were never born," which makes the child feel as though his or her life is worthless and meaningless!
But, I have to say that your statement comes in as a close second place.
okay, so there are WORSE things...but i still think its pretty bad. and i know i'm a weirdo, but i DO think its all "butterfly kisses and gumdrop dreams".
even when he's acting his worst, i can't help but thank God i have him. recently a guy i work with lost his son in a freak accident. i'll take the good and the bad as long as i have him!!
okay, so there are WORSE things...but i still think its pretty bad. and i know i'm a weirdo, but i DO think its all "butterfly kisses and gumdrop dreams".
even when he's acting his worst, i can't help but thank God i have him. recently a guy i work with lost his son in a freak accident. i'll take the good and the bad as long as i have him!!
There's nothing at all weird about cherishing your children. They are truly a blessing in our lives. Of course we have to accept them good or bad. The real weirdos are the parents who bring chikdren into this world and then say these horrible things to them or worse, abuse or neglect them. Children do not ask to be born.
Last edited by GeorgiaGirl2; 08-18-2008 at 02:50 PM..
The real weirdos are the parents who bring chikdren into this world and then say these horrible things to them or worse, abue or neglect them. Children do not ask to be born.
True. And there are much worse things to say to your kid.
No, I don' think it's one of the worst things you can say.
I think there is some hard core truth to some parents saying it. They should not have had children. It was a mistake. The CHILD is not the mistake, but all the deicisions that led up to the child were & many of the decisions after were disastorous.
Parenting is the hardest thing in the world. I don't believe ANYONE who says it's butterfly kisses & gumdrop dreams 24/7.
Guess what..sometimes it's downright awful.
And for some people, they just shouldn't have had children & letting their children be aware that it's tough.
I love my kids & it is one of the BEST decisions of my life. But we've had our moments & will continue to have them where I feel like I'm a step closer to the looney bin.
I think there are far worse things to say & more importantly, act.
If a parent feels this is something they need to share with their child, I believe it needs to be said at an age where the child can have dissect what has been said & if possible, have a conversation about it with their mom or dad.
I think ignoring & not talking your children is the cruelist thing a parent can do (I mean straight out ignoring; not ignoring due to temper tantrums, bad moods, etc).
This is exactly what I was getting at.
Think about this. A girl gets pregnant at 15 yrs old, has the baby, spends the rest of her life trying to recover from this action...and yet it's wrong for her to ever say "If I were to do it over again...".
Well damn skippy they probably would have changed a thing or two. They probably would have waited until they were married and otherwise in a secure situation to have kids having gone through that experience.
She was a child herself and made a huge mistake by doing something irresponsible. That's probably the most truthful thing that could ever be uttered from her mouth. "If I were to do it over again I wouldn't have <insert sexual act here> with <name of stud HS football player...or team>." And if the child was old enough to understand that statement and understood they would be in total agreement. "Yeah mom you shouldn't have banged the football team because it's been hell living on welfare in this house trailer."
Whatever the circumstances were/are that is about the most hurtful thing you can say to your own child...if your trying to tell your child "your story" and the bad choices you made...use other vocabulary. Why anyone would say that particular phrase to their child is downright ruthless and mean...
Think about this. A girl gets pregnant at 15 yrs old, has the baby, spends the rest of her life trying to recover from this action...and yet it's wrong for her to ever say "If I were to do it over again...".
Well damn skippy they probably would have changed a thing or two. They probably would have waited until they were married and otherwise in a secure situation to have kids having gone through that experience.
She was a child herself and made a huge mistake by doing something irresponsible. That's probably the most truthful thing that could ever be uttered from her mouth. "If I were to do it over again I wouldn't have <insert sexual act here> with <name of stud HS football player...or team>." And if the child was old enough to understand that statement and understood they would be in total agreement. "Yeah mom you shouldn't have banged the football team because it's been hell living on welfare in this house trailer."
Therefore, there is context to how this statement can be said & how it can be preceived.
If a parent says it to a 5yr old on a daily basis, that is verbal child abuse.
If a parent is having a grown-up son/daughter & both are have somewhat coherent mindsets, it could clear up a possibly very troubling childhood for that child.
Is it "nice". No.
But there is a very big & varying degree on how this statement could be used.
So if my 16 yr old asks me I'm supposed to just lie to him???? In fact this question did come up and I gave him an honest answer. At the point it was decided to have a child I really didn't care one way or the other. I could have gone my whole life without a child easily but he also knows I have and will do anything for him, he is my child after all.
In fact this very question came from one of his friends last week who just started having sex and we were talking about what one error could cost him.
I think depending on how the discussion is framed and who initiates it decides on if it's mean or not.
Would I ever walk up to my son and just tell him that without being asked? No, it's not relavent.
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