Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm glad to see so many people don't have a problem with this.
I'm of the school of thought that it is really absurd to think that there is only one right way. People, families are all so different, so they need to address each of these issues on their own.
Before I had kids I used to think it would be nuts, but after is a whole differnt ball of wax.
First, like some said, I wanted the closeness. There is some real bonding that goes on by cuddling at night. Second, I don't know why we think it is so normal for kids to sleep alone when adults, for the most part, don't sleep alone. One of my child has terrible night terrors, and if she's with us, they are far less severe. So it works out better for all of us.
Now that is a load of twaddle. I think that doctor made it up. There are loads of co-sleepers here in England. English women are not subordinate to anything any more then American women. Both countries have families that co-sleep and familes that dont. People do what works best for their familes in both counties.
Why do people judge other familes so? Every has to do what is best for their family.
twaddle. i love it. i have never been called a twaddler ever. i love british humor. but to be fair to dr lawrence, he wrote that book awhile back and britain may be more americanish now?
also to be fair i think he did have a few valid points. when we relinquish our rights to adult intimacy and sex and turn the bedroom into a nursery, we are not practicing good boundaries and self care. american marriage failure is 56%, adultery 50% here is results of a recent survey of women with children as to sex.
60% 1 time a week
30% 1 time a month
5% never
5% wild variations
to say that sex, privacy, and intimacy have no bearing on marriage and its success, i think is a serious error. if i am guilty of being a twaddler so be it.
twaddle. i love it. i have never been called a twaddler ever. i love british humor. but to be fair to dr lawrence, he wrote that book awhile back and britain may be more americanish now?
also to be fair i think he did have a few valid points. when we relinquish our rights to adult intimacy and sex and turn the bedroom into a nursery, we are not practicing good boundaries and self care. american marriage failure is 56%, adultery 50% here is results of a recent survey of women with children as to sex.
60% 1 time a week
30% 1 time a month
5% never
5% wild variations
to say that sex, privacy, and intimacy have no bearing on marriage and its success, i think is a serious error. if i am guilty of being a twaddler so be it.
I don't think anyone is suggesting that we should relinquish our rights to adult intimacy, privacy, and sex. Just that those don't always need to take place IN THE BEDROOM. In fact, our most emotionally intimate moments never take place there...
I think all parents of young children must purposefully seek out and set aside "adult time" regardless of their sleeping arrangements. It's the nature of being a parent to young children.. time becomes scarce, and couples have to make an effort to find alone time.
Now sure, I would think that this sort of thing WOULD take it's toll if your kids co-slept through jr. high, but that's not what most of us are discussing here.
Maybe if you have 8 or 10 kids and so this is a non-stop thing, where mom is always pregnant, nursing, co-sleeping, or all of the above, for over a DECADE? But again, that's hardly typical.
Our periods of co-sleeping were just a tiny blip in the grand scheme of life, a brief moment overall when considering the big picture, and seems like decades ago that it took place, with the kids now 5, 10, 16. If your marriage can't survive that, perhaps you have bigger problems?
I adored having both my daughters (one 3 yrs, the other is 6 mos) sleep with us in the bassinette next to our bed, but at around 5 months each, we moved them to their own room. No problems, no issues...we just felt like it was a good time to do it. They made the transition very smoothly.
It is wonderful to lean over and see your sleeping newborn/infant sleeping happily near you. It brought me a tremendous amount of peace.
I have a 5 y/o son who wanders into my bedroom nearly every night. It's not that he can't sleep by himself, but why should he? Would you rather sleep alone or with the person who loves you more than anything in the world? He's completely independant (wouldn't even let me walk him to his classroom the first day of Kindergarten), he just loves his mommy. And me? I eat it up. I know these days are short lived, so I'm going to enjoy them while I can.
i don't think anyone is suggesting that we should relinquish our rights to adult intimacy, privacy, and sex. Just that those don't always need to take place in the bedroom. in fact, our most emotionally intimate moments never take place there...
I think all parents of young children must purposefully seek out and set aside "adult time" regardless of their sleeping arrangements. It's the nature of being a parent to young children.. Time becomes scarce, and couples have to make an effort to find alone time.
Now sure, i would think that this sort of thing would take it's toll if your kids co-slept through jr. High, but that's not what most of us are discussing here.
Maybe if you have 8 or 10 kids and so this is a non-stop thing, where mom is always pregnant, nursing, co-sleeping, or all of the above, for over a decade? But again, that's hardly typical.
Our periods of co-sleeping were just a tiny blip in the grand scheme of life, a brief moment overall when considering the big picture, and seems like decades ago that it took place, with the kids now 5, 10, 16. If your marriage can't survive that, perhaps you have bigger problems?
I have a 5 y/o son who wanders into my bedroom nearly every night. It's not that he can't sleep by himself, but why should he? Would you rather sleep alone or with the person who loves you more than anything in the world? He's completely independant (wouldn't even let me walk him to his classroom the first day of Kindergarten), he just loves his mommy. And me? I eat it up. I know these days are short lived, so I'm going to enjoy them while I can.
Yes, the days are short lived...........You are right on.
All my girls came to sleep with us. Our bed was overcrowded..
They were taking up all our foot space
To this day we joke about it. I would not have changed a thing.........
Enjoy them while you have them, the days go by all to quickly.
I have a 5 y/o son who wanders into my bedroom nearly every night. It's not that he can't sleep by himself, but why should he? Would you rather sleep alone or with the person who loves you more than anything in the world? He's completely independant (wouldn't even let me walk him to his classroom the first day of Kindergarten), he just loves his mommy. And me? I eat it up. I know these days are short lived, so I'm going to enjoy them while I can.
I can totally relate to this! My 3 y/o son comes in quite often and says, "Snuggle with me Mommy!" My two girs did the same until they were about 3. The girls are now 8 and 6 and have no problems at all sleeping alone.
There will come a day, too soon for me, that my kids will be slamming their bedroom doors for privacy. Until then, I will cherish the time they want to spend with me!
It is unhealthy for everyone all-around....what kind of marriage survives this behavior. I know a few people that do this and I want to strangle them lol! I have twins and couldn't imagine them sleeping with us in the same room, let alone same bed for the last 3 years!! NO WAY!!!!and others think it's OK!
I adored having both my daughters (one 3 yrs, the other is 6 mos) sleep with us in the bassinette next to our bed, but at around 5 months each, we moved them to their own room. No problems, no issues...we just felt like it was a good time to do it. They made the transition very smoothly.
It is wonderful to lean over and see your sleeping newborn/infant sleeping happily near you. It brought me a tremendous amount of peace.
I think that is pretty standard, for the new baby to sleep in the parents' room. I never had either of my babies in our bed because I was afraid I'd roll over on them. I'm pretty sure doctors don't recommend it for that reason.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
In fact, our most emotionally intimate moments never take place there...
