Should we add to the family? (babysitting, teenage, divorced, babies)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Both of us are 37, kids are D10 & S13. IF we had another child, how would this affect our S&D? Money & the house are no problem, I worry more about the kids we have now and how the new baby would be "treated". At first it would be great, I know the kids would love the "newbe", but what about when the newbi is 2or3?
Tough decision. Wife would like to have another, I would too........but I'm affraid it might be a selfish decision.
I've never done this but will ask a few questions that might help.
Yes at 1st,once they get over the eeeeeeeeeeeeeww that's gross factor, your older kids will think it's great. The once the child gets to be 3 or so, who are you going to call to be a babysitter?
Your kids are now at the age that they are going out more, hanging with their friends ect. It will be even more pronounced when the baby gets older. If they will be the ones that will be expected to babysit everytime you and your wife want to go somewhere, there will be resentment.
My sister is 8 years older than my younger brother and they never really bonded. Don't get me wrong, they will both go to bat for each other but in everyday life it's like...yeah ok we're related. Big deal.
That being said, there ain't nothin better than cuddlin and smellin a new baby. Good luck to you whatever you decide.
Both of us are 37, kids are D10 & S13. IF we had another child, how would this affect our S&D? Money & the house are no problem, I worry more about the kids we have now and how the new baby would be "treated". At first it would be great, I know the kids would love the "newbe", but what about when the newbi is 2or3?
Tough decision. Wife would like to have another, I would too........but I'm affraid it might be a selfish decision.
And, grandkids are a good 10-12yrs down the road.
Thanks for any advise, much appreciated.
Capt.
My personal opinion: Leave "well-enough" alone.
But if you love babies so much that you want another then go ahead. I suppose having two kids over 10 in the house sets you up to have a couple of live-in baby sitters quite nicely.
You are never going to look back and think, "Wow, I wish we'd never had that baby!" You may, however, look back with regrets about NOT having another. I say go for it. Your kids will adjust.
Both of us are 37, kids are D10 & S13. IF we had another child, how would this affect our S&D? Money & the house are no problem, I worry more about the kids we have now and how the new baby would be "treated". At first it would be great, I know the kids would love the "newbe", but what about when the newbi is 2or3?
Tough decision. Wife would like to have another, I would too........but I'm affraid it might be a selfish decision.
And, grandkids are a good 10-12yrs down the road.
Thanks for any advise, much appreciated.
Capt.
Our babysitter is from a family of 4 girls: 16, 13, 10 & 1yr.
She loves having a baby sister though she says it is a little loud & crazy in the house.
They each got to chose a name for the baby & put the names in a hat & the name she chose was picked, so that's the name of the 1yr old.
She is very excited for when they are all "old like my parents" & they can get together have parties & spend Christmas together.
The current issue that annoys her right now is her other sister borrowing her curling iron.
Personally, I don't know how her parents do it, but they appear like a very happy & content family even with a 9 yr age difference in the girls.
As far as baby-sit'n.........for the last 15yrs we've needed a baby-sitter maybe 5 times. we've spent one weekend alone(this summer) since the kids, I remember a few other times, but that is it.....so I rounded up to 5.
I agree that we should probably leave "well enough alone". It's just hard to think that in 9 yrs we will have an "empty nest". The kids have been our life, more my wifes' as I work till late most days.
One life to live, which will be the fullest for all of us? Probably won't know till the end, eh?
Yes, have more. That is fantastic that both of you want more! Don't worry about the older children, they will adjust. They will have their own lives they are caught up with, although they will need you more than ever at those ages! Esp. your daughter.
As much as I love children, ooh and I do, mine are older, similiar to yours, my youngest & oldest are almost 8 yrs apart, and I am starting to enjoy more freedoms, so I know I wouldn't do it again. But your younger & want it...do it! Good Luck!
it sure sounds like you and your wife would really like to have another...so Id say go for it. My girls are 8yrs apart, (14 and 6)and are very close. They squabble of course, but even last night, my oldest stopped texting long enough to play barbies w/her little sister, put on a play with her, then all three kids (i have a 10yr old boy too) sat down and colored Halloween pictures.
I work w/a girl who during her Sr yr (and her sisters Soph.) their folks ended up deciding "One more" and not only had another baby, but the first boy in the family. There was resentment from the oldest, cooing from the other, and now, 4yrs later, they both adore him dearly and pack him around quite a bit.
Personally, I would LOVE to have another, but when our youngest was born we made the decision we knew best for our family and made it so we cant have anymore. Sooooo....my compromise is we'll be doing shortterm foster care when we're down to 2 kids at home.
You'll make it work whatever you choose. But truly, these little "bonus baby" s are so very special. Husband and I were talking about it last night. We had thought "one girl, one boy, we should stop" but ended up having Annika. And cant even fathom life w/o her.
Good luck!
Tiffany
I grew up in a family of 5 children. It took my parents 18 years to have 5 kids. We are all spaced pretty far apart.
Brother now age 38 seven 1/2 years apart
Me now age 31
Brother Now age 25- 6 years apart
Sister now age 22 -9 years apart
Sister now age 20 -11 years apart.
Growing up it felt like I was an only child because everyone was so much older or younger that me. I remember playing dress up with my younger brother when he was a baby. I always wished he was older and a girl. I did end up babysitting a lot, but only resented it when I was the only option for babysitting. My parents divorced when I was 14. I was the oldest at home at the time so there was a lot of responsiability left on my shoulders. Because of the age diffrances between all of us the older kids were not close to the younger kids growing up. I think a lot of that had to do with the teenage mantality.
However we have all gotten to know eachother as we have grown up. We are all very close now and all have a lot of fun togethor.
If your serious about having more kids I would have 2 more pretty close in age like your older two so they will have someone close to them in age to always have around.
If I were in your shoes I would have another child, It's better to have them to hold and to love than to wonder what life would be like if you were to have had another one years down the road.
Think of all the fun you'll have with your spouse making thoes babies!
I grew up in a family of 5 children. It took my parents 18 years to have 5 kids. We are all spaced pretty far apart.
Brother now age 38 seven 1/2 years apart
Me now age 31
Brother Now age 25- 6 years apart
Sister now age 22 -9 years apart
Sister now age 20 -11 years apart.
Growing up it felt like I was an only child because everyone was so much older or younger that me. I remember playing dress up with my younger brother when he was a baby. I always wished he was older and a girl. I did end up babysitting a lot, but only resented it when I was the only option for babysitting. My parents divorced when I was 14. I was the oldest at home at the time so there was a lot of responsiability left on my shoulders. Because of the age diffrances between all of us the older kids were not close to the younger kids growing up. I think a lot of that had to do with the teenage mantality.
However we have all gotten to know eachother as we have grown up. We are all very close now and all have a lot of fun togethor.
If your serious about having more kids I would have 2 more pretty close in age like your older two so they will have someone close to them in age to always have around.
If I were in your shoes I would have another child, It's better to have them to hold and to love than to wonder what life would be like if you were to have had another one years down the road.
Think of all the fun you'll have with your spouse making thoes babies!
You make a good point(well two considering the "make'n" of the babies). W/the age difference, it may be important to have another........total of 4 kids. I did not think of that. Big issue......but I over think sooooo many things it's pathetic.
Another thought is to leave it in Gods hands. No more birth control, if it happens then it was meant to be...........I guess. I'd like to plan a bit, due to harvest and planting season. Sounds bad, but is important.
WOW! Great info from all of you. You can't imagine how thankful I am for your help.
Thank You..................still in "limbo".
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
& they can get together have parties & spend Christmas together.
we've spent one weekend alone(this summer) since the kids, I remember a few other times, but that is it.....so I rounded up to 5. 
