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My daughter is only 5 and she's been asked to sleepover on several occasions. I have a niece to does sleepovers a lot (nearly every weekend), and I just don't understand the benefit to them. They stay up late, eat junk food, and do questionable things (like talk to boys, the internet, etc.). My husband and I are on the same page about sleepovers, we just don't want to go down that road, at all. But my questions are: Are they ever appropriate? Do kids benefit from them? Why are people asking us already when my kid is only 5? How can I say we don't do sleepovers without sounding judgemental?
How does everyone feel about them? Enlighten me please.
My daughter is only 5 and she's been asked to sleepover on several occasions. I have a niece to does sleepovers a lot (nearly every weekend), and I just don't understand the benefit to them. They stay up late, eat junk food, and do questionable things (like talk to boys, the internet, etc.). My husband and I are on the same page about sleepovers, we just don't want to go down that road, at all. But my questions are: Are they ever appropriate? Do kids benefit from them? Why are people asking us already when my kid is only 5? How can I say we don't do sleepovers without sounding judgemental?
How does everyone feel about them? Enlighten me please.
If your daughter wants to do sleepovers, have them at your house where you can control what happens. Sleepovers are a very fun part of childhood, in my opinion. Not every weekend of course, but once in a while is great!
If your daughter wants to do sleepovers, have them at your house where you can control what happens. Sleepovers are a very fun part of childhood, in my opinion. Not every weekend of course, but once in a while is great!
My son is 7 and slept over my cousin's house for the first time a couple months ago. He had a great time.
Then he was going to sleep over another cousins house and then, crying, wanted to come home at 10PM. I didn't want to set a precedent with picking a kid up in the middle of the night, so I told him it was late, he should go to bed, and I'd see him in the morning. I told my cousins DH that if he wasn't alseep in 15 minutes to call me and I'd get him. He slept and I got him in the morning. He won't be sleeping over there for a while, I can say that, but I think it is more of the disorganization of their household.
Several cousins have slept here and there is never a problem.
My DD is three, she has never slept over anyone's house though she's had cousins sleep here. I would only let her sleep over at a limited number of relatives houses, though, when she asks.
As for my kids sleeping at stranger's houses....I don't think so. I just don't feel comfortable with my kid being at a house when I don't know the parents well. And I don't really know any of my son's friends parents well enough to even be asked.
My cousin (the disorganized, disaster one) has kids there all the time---I think she just likes the trade off when her kids are gone.
Luckily, I have a HUGE extended family nearby and the sleep over thing has not been too much of an issue as we have multiple cousins that can come here.
I prefer the kids to sleep here. I would have almost any kid sleep here before I let my kid sleep elsewhere. Esp. my Dh, I don't want here sleeping somewhere with other kids fathers around. I am sorry, and maybe paranoid, but it's not necessary and if something bad happens to her (or my son, for that matter), it is not like a cut or bruise that will heal, we are talking about things that cannot be "fixed". To me to take a risk like that would be unnecessary.
Boy, I do sound paranoid, don't I????? lol! It all boils down with do you feel comfortable with the other parents, do you trust them, and are they similar to you in how the interact with their children. Staying up late eating junk food for one night isn't going to kill a kid. But if the parents philosophy is very far from yours, you might not want your kid there.
The day my son slept at my cousins, her DH had the kids do a little community service when they got up in the morning, picking up trash outside the house, which I thought was excellent. Expcept for the fact that they needed bug spray, and the DH sent my son (the only volunteer) up the road about 1/2 mile, all by himself, back to the house to get it. It is a very quiet, winding road, the cars speed. I would never have let him go back to the house alone, first of all the houses all look similar and what if he didn't remember which one it was, plus he could have been picked up or run over and no one would even know.
This is what I mean about the parenting philosophy.
I am going to keep watching this thread and see what everyone comes up with......
I think people need to be VERY CAREFUL with sleepovers and that they need to be restricted to very close family and friends that you feel very comfortable with and trust. My oldest dd is 9 and had her first sleepover last summer. She had a close friend, whose family I have gotten to know quite well over a period of a year or so, over to our house to sleep and a few weeks later she went over to the same girl's house for a sleepover. I felt quite comfortable with this. On the other hand, earlier in the summer, she was invited to a slumber party to a girl's house, whose parents I have never met and my dd had never even had a playdate with the girl. My dd did not go. There is no way I would let that happen. When my dd was five and in Daisys, the troop had a sleepover party and although I had "met" the moms, who were supervising, I really did not know them that well and the girl, whose home it was at, had a teenage brother and I, myself, was unable to stay and help supervise, so my dd went to the party but we both left about 10 pm. She was fine with that. My youngest is 7 and has yet to be invited to a sleepover and I'm grateful for that!!! I just don't think its necessary at a young age and only with carefully screened friends/family when they are older. JMHO
I have two girls.......9yrs & 5yrs.
I let them have friends sleep over at our house. Im like Carlita OVERPROTECTIVE.
I Had a few encounters with creepy dads, when I slept over at friends houses.
I dont want my kids to go through the same thing.
We only sleepover at someone's house we know VERY well. Since I am the Troop leader, I try once a year to have a sleepover at my house. All the mom's are invited (but you might have to sleep on the floor) and we bring our own snacks and sit at the kitchen table and giggle and talk and the girls do things like that too...just not with us.
They stay up all night or as long as they can, watching movies and eating junk food. Painting fingernails and curling hair and putting on make up. It is fun when you are 10. But as far as my daughter going somewhere... no. We have about 3 friends not counting my mom's that we go have sleepovers with.
I loved sleepovers when I was a kid! I can't recall when they started, but it seems like 6. My best friend lived across the street and had 3 older sisters who were so much fun. I don't think our parents worried too much - they knew each other very well. Day after day, we were always back and forth at each other's house. I got to go on vacations with their family and we took my friend on our vacations, too. We moved away when I was 12 and I was fortunate to befriend my next door neighbor with whom we had tons of sleepovers. We even camped out between the houses one night. In high school I had sleepovers with my best friend. We'd even sleep over on school nights, because our parents knew each other and knew that each set would see that any homework got done. And, clothes could be borrowed, etc.
These were some of the happiest memories of my childhood. But, you'll notice a trend. I don't recall sleepovers with people who weren't close to the family.
You can NEVER be too careful. We do not live in the carefree times we used to when sleepovers were all about fun and games. My child is 7 and he is not ready for any sleepovers, nor will I allow it....I would, however, allow one here if he asked. If it was a relative I know very well, that's different. But we have no family here.
When our only neighbor first moved in, they asked if he could sleep over. Huh? I don't even know you.
Things to consider:
Are there guns in the house? Do people who allow their kids to sleep over others houses even ask this IMPORTANT question?
Do you know ALL the people living in the house and ALL the people who will be allowed in the house when your child will be there?
Not saying it can only be males who sexually molest, but do you know the father and any older siblings VERY well?
Do you trust the parenting style of the parents and are they similiar to yours? For example, if you don't allow your child outside by themselves without supervision, will he/she be permitted to play outside unsupervised at the sleepover?
What kind of internet access, television and movies will the child be exposed to?
Do the people have pets? Any big dogs around that can become jealous?
Do the parents know CPR?
What foods will your child be given?
The list is endless!
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