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I agree with you 100% and I know my son and how he would take getting held back so each child is different . I also know that kids are cruel when it comes to this issue and they think it is okay to tease about being left back ,not a good thing at all . Also my brother was 19 when he graduated high school and my mom repeated to me never ever hold a child back in school . she was sorry she had done so with my brother cause he had no friends at all because of it .
Did she keep him in the same school? That's a mistake if she did? What age was he? The longer you wait the harder it can be. Did he receive any tutoring or additional educational support? Was he involved any any extracurricular activities that could have improved his self esteem?
I also know that kids are cruel when it comes to this issue and they think it is okay to tease about being left back, not a good thing at all.
We held our daughter back in kindergarten since she was a fall birthday and the teacher recommended it. Out of about 20 kids in that grade (80 or so total) who were recommended to be retained, only 3 students' parent(s) gave permission for the retention. While our daughter was slightly ridiculed the first few weeks of school ("What are you doing on the kindergarten playground?" etc), and she cried a little in the beginning, she later ignored it and they stopped. She ended up remaining friends with some of the kids who were a grade older and a few ended up watching out for her, all the way through high school.
We held our daughter back in 2nd grade. She was born in late October and was one of the youngest in her grade, she was having difficulty with reading and did not qualify for an IEP. It was a hard decission and we let her be apart of it. The school wanted to promote her but her inability to keep pace with the class was making her very introverted, she was unable to focus or engage in the lessons. She is now in 5th grade and a very confident kid with lots of friends and is moving on to one of the best middle schools in the city. I think holding a child back is not a decision to be taken lightly but in her case it made a huge and positive difference.
We held our daughter back in 2nd grade. She was born in late October and was one of the youngest in her grade, she was having difficulty with reading and did not qualify for an IEP. It was a hard decission and we let her be apart of it. The school wanted to promote her but her inability to keep pace with the class was making her very introverted, she was unable to focus or engage in the lessons. She is now in 5th grade and a very confident kid with lots of friends and is moving on to one of the best middle schools in the city. I think holding a child back is not a decision to be taken lightly but in her case it made a huge and positive difference.
Thanks for sharing your daughters experience. We did the same for our daughter when she was in 3rd. My only regret is that we didn't do in sooner while she was in preschool. I remember signing her up for kindergarten and telling a teacher that I had my doubts about her being ready for school. It would have saved all of us so much pain and hardship had I listened to my instincts.
I hope this encourages other parents in the same situation.
Hopefully someone is familiar with this. My two daughters (6 and 8) are with my mom in New Orleans. I just got back from deployment in December, and they will be staying with her until school finishes. Both girls attend a DOD school on the Navy Base. My 6yr old is in the first grade, and is having problems with reading. She was with her Dad for kindergarten, and they really didn't emphasize reading for her. She pretty much learned to read in the first grade. According to the teacher she is not at the reading level that she is suppose to be at. The kids start reading in Kindergarten at the school. They have different reading levels for the kids in the class. Her reading teacher has been hinting at her maybe having to repeat the first grade due to her reading level. My mom is really getting upset about it, and even thinking about transferring her to another school for the last few months. Hopefully it won't come to that. My problem is that all her grades have been good. She had an "A" in reading on her first report card, and a "B" on the 2nd. All of her other grades are pretty good in her other classes. She has never had anything lower then a "C" on her report cards. She is also has a "iep" for speech. Can they make her repeat a grade if she hasn't had any failing marks in it? I can't be of much assistance to the situation because I am in Germany until the end of this week. I'll be moving to Virginia...so I'll still be far away, but at least I can talk to the teach on the phone.
My daugher was struggling with reading when she was in the 2nd grad.
I held her back..she passed but I knew she we have a hard time in 3rd grade..Keeping her back for another year was the best thing I could have done. She excelled in reading..She was way beyond her class when it came to reading. When she was in 5th grade her reading level was at a High school senior.. She is 20 now.
My other daughter is 11 she loves to read..her reading level is very high too.
Im sure the school only wants to do what good for her in the long run. They may be looking at it as repeating a grade will help her or if she don't she will be struggling and it will become more difficult for her.
I say let her repeat a grade it will do her some good.
When my son was recommended for TK1 (transitional kindergarten-1st grade). I was really upset and tried to fight it, but after talking to the teacher and counselor I realized it was in his best interest. He was too "immature" and not ready for 1st grade. He wasn't reading very well even though I read to him every night.
I'm glad I did it. By the time he finished 1st grade he was on a 5th grade reading level and recommended for gifted classes. He ended up graduating high school a year early.
I have heard heard horror stories about how my child is going to struggle in the future. The 8 school faculty members let us know that she would be a potential high school drop out. The first year she repeats she will do okay but watch out for the next year. Chances are high that she will struggle. This is what we were told. They were wrong. She's doing better then we expected and she's really happy.
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