Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My husband's daughter's mom wants more child support. We did the income statements and everything. Sent them back and we received a letter in the mail saying that we can afford to pay her $811. We just recently got a lawyer and found her in order to enforce his visitation because she has kept the daughter away for almost six years. She has not worked since 2005, she has a new boyfriend and two other kids. He provides dental and medical. I am not employed and we have two kids together and a whole lot of bills. We can not afford to take care of two households. Her monthly expense is only $1774 a month. The daughter is always looking dirty, she never sends her with clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste and her hair is never combed. Can someone give me some advice or help me to handle this situation, because I am at a lost right now.
He has kept the daughter away for almost six years but she never sends her with clothes, toothbrush, and toothpaste? (I am wondering why you think she should send her with toothbrush and toothpaste also.)
Regarding the $811 it all depends on what your DH's income is.
Your DH has a responsibility to his child. He has a responsibility to your child. You and the other mother have responsibility towards your children. Somehow you must make it work.
Can you go back to court and demonstrate to the judge that the amount is more than you are able to pay?
I am a stay at home mother as well and if my DH had other children I would expect that he meet the obligations. If we still could not afford to live on his income then I would have no choice to return to work.
I know that doesn't sound kind considering the fact that the other woman does not work, but she also has small children and $800 per month is not enabling her to stay home, obviously the boyfriend is pitching in some or there is another income source, and if she is living on $1700 per month she obviously is not enjoying a high standard of living, and if she is fine with that it is really only her concern.
I am sorry to sound so harsh, but children cost money and when people get divorced it is more expensive than staying married, because naturally there are two households that need to be paid for. And if someone gets involved with a person who has children from a previous marriage, they are aware of the need for the person to support their children.
Good luck with your situation. I hope that the court system can assist you with your plight.
Usually the court or state takes your family income and the mothers family income and comes up with a set figure that is to be paid for child support, and is not really negotiable. If lets say a figure was set 2 years ago and since then your husband has a much higher paying job, she can go to the courts and ask that the figures be done again. Unfortunately the fact that the child is dirty and hair is not combed does not enter into it.
The daughter is always looking dirty, she never sends her with clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste and her hair is never combed. Can someone give me some advice or help me to handle this situation, because I am at a lost right now.
You can't even supply clothing, toothbrush, toothpaste, and a comb for her? OMG, must you make her live COMPLETELY out of a bag? It's bad enough she has to bounce between 2 households, and you complain about basic necessities you should provide at your house for her anyway?
It is very easy for the second wife to get upset that the first wife takes all their money. Keep in mind, you were not the first and you did not have the children with him.
My husband and I are in the middle of a divorce right now. The child support will be a set amount, cut and dry. It will not matter if he likes it or not. His big beef is his PERSI. We have been married for 23 years and he thinks it is ok for me to get 10% of it. I think not. Any judge will give me 50%. He has our daughter and I have our 2 sons. Oh yeah, I forgot, he also has his girlfriend that he got involved with only 1 month after we separated and she is about to move in with him. He whines that he "cannot support our daughter by giving me 1/2 the PERSI?" Let me translate, that means he cannot support my daughter, himself and his girlfriend (he doesn't want her to work because he needs a cook and babysitter for our daughter). Well, tough sh**. I am raising 2 special needs sons, was married to that man 23 long years and deserve every cent of that 50%.
It is very easy for the second wife to get upset that the first wife takes all their money. Keep in mind, you were not the first and you did not have the children with him.
My husband and I are in the middle of a divorce right now. The child support will be a set amount, cut and dry. It will not matter if he likes it or not. His big beef is his PERSI. We have been married for 23 years and he thinks it is ok for me to get 10% of it. I think not. Any judge will give me 50%. He has our daughter and I have our 2 sons. Oh yeah, I forgot, he also has his girlfriend that he got involved with only 1 month after we separated and she is about to move in with him. He whines that he "cannot support our daughter by giving me 1/2 the PERSI?" Let me translate, that means he cannot support my daughter, himself and his girlfriend (he doesn't want her to work because he needs a cook and babysitter for our daughter). Well, tough sh**. I am raising 2 special needs sons, was married to that man 23 long years and deserve every cent of that 50%.
If you are talking about retirement funds, you most certainly are entitled to half of it if it was saved during the marriage.
That is money that was saved for retirement that would have been going into the family budget, to pay off the mortgage, bills, buy things, go on vacations, etc.
No, 10% is ridiculous.
I don't know how he thinks you are not entitled to half and good for you for not being convinced you are.
My husband's daughter's mom wants more child support. We did the income statements and everything. Sent them back and we received a letter in the mail saying that we can afford to pay her $811. We just recently got a lawyer and found her in order to enforce his visitation because she has kept the daughter away for almost six years. She has not worked since 2005, she has a new boyfriend and two other kids. He provides dental and medical. I am not employed and we have two kids together and a whole lot of bills. We can not afford to take care of two households. Her monthly expense is only $1774 a month. The daughter is always looking dirty, she never sends her with clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste and her hair is never combed. Can someone give me some advice or help me to handle this situation, because I am at a lost right now.
If you are concerned the child needs are not met, your husband should petition for full custody so you both can care for her.
Child support is based on you dh income and the number of children he has. You expenses don't matter. The mother's situation doesn't matter either.
I am still wondering how the woman has kept the child away for six years yet "never sends her with clothes, toothbrush & toothpaste" and why on God's green earth would you expect your husband's daughter to arrive with toothpaste.
She is not coming to a hotel, she's coming to her daddy's house.
My husband's daughter's mom wants more child support. We did the income statements and everything. Sent them back and we received a letter in the mail saying that we can afford to pay her $811. We just recently got a lawyer and found her in order to enforce his visitation because she has kept the daughter away for almost six years. She has not worked since 2005, she has a new boyfriend and two other kids. He provides dental and medical. I am not employed and we have two kids together and a whole lot of bills. We can not afford to take care of two households. Her monthly expense is only $1774 a month. The daughter is always looking dirty, she never sends her with clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste and her hair is never combed. Can someone give me some advice or help me to handle this situation, because I am at a lost right now.
If you have a lawyer they are the best source of advice for you. If you are seriously worried that the child is not being properly cared for, ask the lawyer how to get custody of the child.
Your situation is one reason why men should think carefully about starting new families with their second wives. The child was there before you and she deserves all the support BOTH parents can give her, even if that makes things tight in your current household. Sorry.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What are you people thinking? OMG!
