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Once a man agrees the kid is his, unless there is a paternity test proving who the true father is, the court ordered child support payments will not be rescinded.
This is why guys should stop screwing everything wearing a skirt. Do I feel bad for the guy, no. He claimed the boy as his own, and now that it is inconvienent he wants to dump the kid. That's wrong.
I do however think that if the guy was laid off, they shouldn't have put him in jail for nonpayment. They should have helped him find a job. Now all they did was make it harder for him to find a job because he has been in jail. There are some pretty smart people in the world - not!
And another thing - every baby born out of wedlock should have a DNA test done jsut so things like this can't happen. If yuo have the DNA showing it's not yours, then walk away and let the mother dig up the real father. If yu chose to stay, you get to support the kid for the next 18-24 years.
Last edited by 1phwalls; 07-16-2009 at 01:19 PM..
Reason: add
There are two sides to everything. The guy may not just be a victim.
My brother met his first wife when she was 7 months pregnant. No doubt the child wasn't his. They married a month later, he signed the baby's birth certificate. Two years later, daughter #2 was born. Two years after that, they divorced. He took off, she never tried to find him. He never contested the paternity of either child, she never asked for child support.
Fast forward 8 years. First wife attempts suicide. The state steps in and contacts my brother (who is now living in other sister's basement with girlfriend and son) and asks him to take custody of his daughters (the older daughter knew that our last name is very rare and helped the state find him, even though the mom was denying knowledge of where he was. She told the caseworker that she missed her daddy and was sure he'd take them in). This is the day that daughter #1 found out that the man she always thought was her dad, wasn't. In this case, the younger daughter was given to him and the older sent to foster care.
I am estranged from most members of the horrible family I was born into. It took 3 weeks for this to filter to me- it was someone's idea of a "funny story" about my brother.
I was able to track down my neice's caseworker that day, though it took hours on the phone and some bending of the laws to do it. Luckily for her, just days before I called, one of her mother's THIRD cousins had tracked her down and offered to adopt her and was granted custody by the state.
Three weeks ago, my brother's gf got caught stealing from his younger daughter... some stupid, cheap, novelty necklace that an aunt bought her. Gf told my brother the aunt had no business buying the girl a gift, but not her and told him that it was "her or me". Luckily for his daughter, my brother chose his gf and called the state who contacted the cousin who has legal custody of first daughter and she is now adopting the younger one too.
This is not the way they tell this story. Their version involves lies by the first wife and how they were "tricked" by everyone. I was around back then. I remember the FIRST version.
Revisionist history.
In my opinion, if at any point, you accept parental responsibility for a child, then you have an obligation to that child, regardless of whether or not you still lust after the child's other parent.
There are two sides to everything. The guy may not just be a victim.
My brother met his first wife when she was 7 months pregnant. No doubt the child wasn't his. They married a month later, he signed the baby's birth certificate. Two years later, daughter #2 was born. Two years after that, they divorced. He took off, she never tried to find him. He never contested the paternity of either child, she never asked for child support.
Fast forward 8 years. First wife attempts suicide. The state steps in and contacts my brother (who is now living in other sister's basement with girlfriend and son) and asks him to take custody of his daughters (the older daughter knew that our last name is very rare and helped the state find him, even though the mom was denying knowledge of where he was. She told the caseworker that she missed her daddy and was sure he'd take them in). This is the day that daughter #1 found out that the man she always thought was her dad, wasn't. In this case, the younger daughter was given to him and the older sent to foster care.
I am estranged from most members of the horrible family I was born into. It took 3 weeks for this to filter to me- it was someone's idea of a "funny story" about my brother.
I was able to track down my neice's caseworker that day, though it took hours on the phone and some bending of the laws to do it. Luckily for her, just days before I called, one of her mother's THIRD cousins had tracked her down and offered to adopt her and was granted custody by the state.
Three weeks ago, my brother's gf got caught stealing from his younger daughter... some stupid, cheap, novelty necklace that an aunt bought her. Gf told my brother the aunt had no business buying the girl a gift, but not her and told him that it was "her or me". Luckily for his daughter, my brother chose his gf and called the state who contacted the cousin who has legal custody of first daughter and she is now adopting the younger one too.
This is not the way they tell this story. Their version involves lies by the first wife and how they were "tricked" by everyone. I was around back then. I remember the FIRST version.
Revisionist history.
In my opinion, if at any point, you accept parental responsibility for a child, then you have an obligation to that child, regardless of whether or not you still lust after the child's other parent.
What a sad story. I agree with you. Whatever happens between two adults should never effect the children. Unfortunately, it almost always does. These two innocent children did not ask to be born into total disfunction. It was the hand dealt them and they will more than likely spend the rest of their lives trying to overcome it.
My cousin married a man while she was pregnant. He knew he was not the father but decieded to raise him as his own. They had another child together and then divorced. This man has paid child support on both kids for years. He stepped up to the plate and did the right thing. Too bad all men can't do that.
In my opinion, if at any point, you accept parental responsibility for a child, then you have an obligation to that child, regardless of whether or not you still lust after the child's other parent.
I disagree. If a woman LIES to a man and tells him that the child is his, when she knows damn well it's not, and he has no cause for doubt... but then it comes out later that the child isn't his, I don't think he should have any LEGAL obligation to that child, who is not biologically his. Many men would continue to have contact and provide support for the child, because at that point they are emotionally attached to the child, but it should NOT be a legal requirement. In fact, I think the woman, in those cases, should be prosecuted for FRAUD, at the very least.
You know, first everyone complains about how THEIR taxes pay for this and that. Now the complaints begin with the FATHER (he signed the birth certificate) having to pay for HIS child????
They explain it to you when you sign the bc. You are ASSUMING the child is yours and give up the right to protest unless YOU yourself get a dna test.
Maybe he shouldn't have made such a blind and uneducated decision.
Seems to me so many nowadays are making such decisions based off of the info ONE person/doctor/book/article says and not looking into it more in depth.
I agree, he was not married to this woman so he himself had to put his name on the birth certificate and by doing that without a DNA test he was assuming the responsibility of the child and taking the mothers word for it that it was his. That is his own problem. He was mature enough to make (or so he thought!) a baby, so he is mature enough to find out the ramifications of signing a legal document stating that he is the father without knowing for sure.
Fraud is fraud, and she should be sued to pay him back.
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