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Apparently a cell phone is a hot button with many teens. I deactivated my kids phones. We got them cells for security and safety, not as a social tool.
Now I tell them they're always around someone with a cell if they need to call me for an emergency, I carry mine. Otherwise, they don't need to be making calls unless its an emergency. We're on a tight budget and I'm not paying $60/month for them to have a toy.
It is up to the common sense of the local authority. My sister's oldest daughter called the officers after my sister smacked her accidentally in the mouth while she was trying to leave the house while grounded and the police arrested my sister for child abuse. With the third child, she tried to have my sister arrested because she had seen the first incident and my sister had grabbed her and made her stay at her house after she stole the family car and the officer told her, "I would spank your butt if you were mine", and my sister didn't get arrested. The third child never gave her any additonal problems. The first one, she tested the situation at every turn and ended up in juvy.
If I would have ever felt the need to take away my child's cell phone, I would have just called the provider and shut the line down - you can do this even on a temporary basis. I wouldn't have given a rat's *** what they did with the actual non-working phone. I have done this with texting. Works well if needed.
ETA - if the child in question decides to damage the phone in revenge? He or she would be not getting cell phone service for quite some time. At the very least until they could afford to replace the phone - full price.
As a 17 year old who recently graduated high school, I can tell you this, kids who throws fits over cell phones and ipods,etc. don't have mental issues, matter of fact they are fine, they[teens] have become so attached to phones, they literally ARE their lives, it is about the equivalent of taking a way a mans job and his wife, he wouldnt know what do to, his life as he knew if would be gone, that is how teens react to lose of a phone or ipod,etc. they become so attached, you take it away, no suddenly earth has crumbled. It is sad, I have a phone myself, last time I used it was about a week ago, I got mine for security reasons,etc. I'm growing up, I am not always going to be around my parents, I will be out with friends, I'd like to be able to have something to call someone if something happened, I am in no way addicted to a frickin' phone, but hey, a lot of teens are sadly, Samsung its the new crack!
And yes people socialize via their cells.. it IS their life..... if you dont answer ur txts within 30secs or less, ur considered SLOWPOKE..... its lingo I hear everyday -_-
As a 17 year old who recently graduated high school, I can tell you this, kids who throws fits over cell phones and ipods,etc. don't have mental issues, matter of fact they are fine, they[teens] have become so attached to phones, they literally ARE their lives, it is about the equivalent of taking a way a mans job and his wife, he wouldnt know what do to, his life as he knew if would be gone, that is how teens react to lose of a phone or ipod,etc. they become so attached, you take it away, no suddenly earth has crumbled. It is sad, I have a phone myself, last time I used it was about a week ago, I got mine for security reasons,etc. I'm growing up, I am not always going to be around my parents, I will be out with friends, I'd like to be able to have something to call someone if something happened, I am in no way addicted to a frickin' phone, but hey, a lot of teens are sadly, Samsung its the new crack!
I am sorry but you are so wrong it is not even funny.
They are not fine. Hitting and assaulting over a phone is not normal.
This right here ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ is coming from someone who is addicted to her cell phone and experiences elevated levels of anxiety without the phone. I send over 3000 text a month. I recently had to go without my phone over the past weekend for a camping trip. When I wasn't busy having fun and was in my downtime I felt pretty anxious, I didn't take a charger...didn't know I would end up having a place to put it. I couldn't turn it on for long and had no signal.
I am 20 so my mom hasn't turned it off or taken it away from me for quite some time. Not since I was 15.
When my mom shut my phone off back then. Did I pitch a fit? Holy hell yes I did. Screaming, begging, pleading, demanding, crying, stomping, slamming my door. NEVER...NOT ONCE..have I ever hit my mom over my phone. My screaming alone about how it wasn't fair and how I NEEDED the phone...was enough to make my mom's eyes roll into the back of her head and give me the phone back or turn the service back on to it. I can count on one hand the times I was taken away. Maybe 2 or 3.
But no, raging on parents like that over a phone...to actually assault someone is a sign of some sort of disorder. A disorder that was there before the phone and not caused by it.
It's not fine. No matter how addicted I am to my phone or how much I cringe when I read stories where a teen had their phone taken or when a teen says they got their phone taken, I WILL never think its fine.
I did the hardest thing of my life last week, I filed assualt charges against my 13-year old son. He had been making a habit of hitting me, cussing at me, in general not minding, doing whatever he pleased, etc.
My husband currently travels a lot on business and is not home a lot of the time. My son is 13, he's a big kid, as big as many adults, 5'5' and 160 pounds. I did cut him some slack, at first I said it was just hormones, stress, etc, but when he was inflicting injuries one me I draw the line.
I called the police and they hauled him off to juvenile detention. he spent one night and is now on probation. My injuries are minor, I have bruises he's inflicted over a period of time, I kept pictures. I finally decided enough is enough. Am I supposed to wait until the injuries are serious?
He seems to realize now that he's gone too far. Better he realize it now while we can still choose another path than one of us (probably me) winds up seriously injured. I have myself to consider.
We will go to family counseling, hopefully that will help, but being led off in handcuffs and spending the night in jail had a profound impact on him. Perhaps more parents should take action sooner, its a difficult judgment call to make, but sooner is better.
I think any 'parent' that calls the cops on their own child, regardless what the problem, is NO parent at all. I wonder if you beat him or even spanked him etc as a child? slapped him maybe? Whatever. I think 9 times out of 10 when a kid is hitting a parent, it is after years of being 'abused'(i use it loosely cause I'm a fan of spanking). I think it's only natural that when parents spend their lives more or less telling the kids I'm bigger than you I'll use force, when the kid gets bigger than the parent it will be turned around.
That being said, don't you know your own kids' weaknesses? Hell I'm 6 foot, 220 and 24 y/o, and I know without a doubt my 5'3" 140lb mom could kick my ass!
I think any 'parent' that calls the cops on their own child, regardless what the problem, is NO parent at all. I wonder if you beat him or even spanked him etc as a child? slapped him maybe? Whatever. I think 9 times out of 10 when a kid is hitting a parent, it is after years of being 'abused'(i use it loosely cause I'm a fan of spanking). I think it's only natural that when parents spend their lives more or less telling the kids I'm bigger than you I'll use force, when the kid gets bigger than the parent it will be turned around.
That being said, don't you know your own kids' weaknesses? Hell I'm 6 foot, 220 and 24 y/o, and I know without a doubt my 5'3" 140lb mom could kick my ass!
I disagree. I know a family whose son got in with the wrong group of kids and began using drugs and quickly developed a drug problem. They had all kinds of problems with him, violent outbursts, stealing everything that wasn't nailed down to pawn for his drugs and alcohol. His older sister would buy herself things from a paycheck she earned and he would take those and pawn them. They didn't want to throw him out because for one he was a minor and the other they didn't want him "out there" with no food, no roof over his head.
Neither parent could reach him so they finally had him arrested. He was sent away in a juvenile kind of prison and then to a half-way house program in another city where he learned job skills and finished high school. Now he's doing fine and has a good relationship with his parents.
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