Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Not really.
Marriage is an equal partnership, having to ask permission gives the other person power and control and makes it an unequal relationship.
My DH jolly well knows if he takes my car he better ask permission.
lol.
It's not all power and control. Sometimes it's one spouse not wanting her car taken to get a hay bundle when she just vacuumed it the day before. If he asks nicely I usually say, "yes". If I see he has his **** kicker cowboy boots on I say "no".
Not really.
Marriage is an equal partnership, having to ask permission gives the other person power and control and makes it an unequal relationship.
Except its not really equal partnership either if the wife isn't listening and she's sabotaging her husband's efforts-- which is the issue at hand here.
I think you are on the right track. I like that you refer to your stepson as "our kid." That says a lot about you. I think counseling will help you enormously. Find a good family counselor that is skilled in step-family counseling. Good luck to you. He is lucky to have you!
Not really.
Marriage is an equal partnership, having to ask permission gives the other person power and control and makes it an unequal relationship.
You are an expert on all marriages? Who died and left you the ruler? What if the partners agree to make it not equal? Do you get to decide they are wrong? But that wasn't the point of my calling you on that being the only thing you picked out of his entire post about the issues. He wasn't asking for help with how his marriage works or what agreement he and his wife have with regard to whether one needs to ask permission of the other - perhaps he needs to ask his wife's permission for other things.
He asked for advice on dealing with his wife concerning the child's issues - not on whether to ask permission for anything.
Oh, and back to the permission issue: if that is how they agreed their relationship should work, that is between the two of them and you have no say.
BTW, my husband asks permission to take my car. It's a courtesy he extends to me and I would no sooner say no than I would cut off my foot.
You are an expert on all marriages? Who died and left you the ruler? What if the partners agree to make it not equal? Do you get to decide they are wrong? But that wasn't the point of my calling you on that being the only thing you picked out of his entire post about the issues. He wasn't asking for help with how his marriage works or what agreement he and his wife have with regard to whether one needs to ask permission of the other - perhaps he needs to ask his wife's permission for other things.
He asked for advice on dealing with his wife concerning the child's issues - not on whether to ask permission for anything.
Oh, and back to the permission issue: if that is how they agreed their relationship should work, that is between the two of them and you have no say.
BTW, my husband asks permission to take my car. It's a courtesy he extends to me and I would no sooner say no than I would cut off my foot.
I can't tell you who died, if I told you I'd have to kill you.
But it was a long journey, I slayed a dragon, fought some elves to get to this ruler position you speak of.
Anyways, no **** you ask someone permission to use their things, you don't ask permission to be allowed to do something by a spouse, unless we all just stepped off the mayflower.
Nearly three years later, and it's the same song and dance. Some of you wondered what he did to end up under home incarceration. It was a bomb threat at school-he had wrote a threat on a bathroom wall. A teacher or admin noted it and they immediately went to CC cameras outside of the bathroom. They picked him out and he admitted to doing it.
What do I have three years later? The same crap. A room that is never cleaned, chores outside that I have to beg him to help with. A sense of entitlement that makes me disgusted and angry. He thinks and expects that we will hand the car down to him, while we continue to spend outrageous amount of money to fund his AAU Basketball over the Summer.
I give my wife a Kindle Fire for her birthday. Two weeks later, it's his. He facebooks on it, Pandora, takes it to bed with him. Apparently surfs for porn on it. My wife questions me about it last night, knowing I never use that damn thing. She accepts his denial as the plain truth. Very frustrating as I know damn well that he did it, but he denies it like a pathological liar would.
Are tensions high? You better believe it. I have helped raise this boy for nine years and I get ZERO respect with him and nothing to back me up from my wife. Leaving is my last option. I have a daughter with my wife and I don't want to ruin her world. And so I'm stuck with the fantasy that maybe he'll turn 18 and leave for the Army and grow up. But I know, or feel like that he will be around for a long time creating problems.
Wow, your wife is still a total enabler and this kid sounds like he's headed for the life of being a total loser, or worse. Good luck.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
