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I am not sure if it is normal or expected for woen to stand. I ceratinlywould not expect a pregnant woman or any elderly person to stand when others approach.
It probably isn't "normal" or "expected." Certainly, it isn't traditional. But I do believe it is mannerly. (Albeit not chivalrous, which, as you point out, is the topic of your thread.)
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I really appreciate it when women (or anyone) stop and wait for me to open the door for them.
When I was a teenager, my grandmother was visiting, and my family went to a restaurant together for Mother's Day and also to celebrate my birthday, which always falls right around (or on) Mother's Day. I don't remember the order in which we entered the restaurant, but the hostess seated us right away. At the table, my mother looked around and realized Grandmother was missing. Where was she? My (older) brother and I got up to go look for her and found Grandmother standing outside the restaurant, right in front of the door, hands folded neatly at her waist. It seemed that my brother had proceeded my grandmother through the door of the restaurant and had not held it open for her, so she was standing precisely where he'd so rudely "left" her, waiting for him to return and correct his grave and discourteous error! (He was sheepish and embarrassed.)
It probably isn't "normal" or "expected." Certainly, it isn't traditional. But I do believe it is mannerly. (Albeit not chivalrous, which, as you point out, is the topic of your thread.)
When I was a teenager, my grandmother was visiting, and my family went to a restaurant together for Mother's Day and also to celebrate my birthday, which always falls right around (or on) Mother's Day. I don't remember the order in which we entered the restaurant, but the hostess seated us right away. At the table, my mother looked around and realized Grandmother was missing. Where was she? My (older) brother and I got up to go look for her and found Grandmother standing outside the restaurant, right in front of the door, hands folded neatly at her waist. It seemed that my brother had proceeded my grandmother through the door of the restaurant and had not held it open for her, so she was standing precisely where he'd so rudely "left" her, waiting for him to return and correct his grave and discourteous error! (He was sheepish and embarrassed.)
I love this. Kudos to grandma! If my daughter would do this, I would give her an ice cream cone. That is classic. I can just imagine her standing there while her rude boyfriend goes into the resturaunt alone. One of my daughters just might have the gumption to do this. I will tall her about it and suggest that it is a good diea. I bet that the guy would never forget to open the door again.
I'm not a feminist, but so much of your list makes me want to just smack some sense into you. So many of them are control issues. And let me tell you...if we were on a date and you ordered my food for me, I'd get up and walk out. Go ahead and feel free to open the door for me if you want, but if I get to it first, it will be me opening it for you. If you're behind me while we're walking up a hill, it's not to "catch me if I slip" (oh brother, you have to be kidding me) it's because I am in better shape than you are, and walk faster than you can wheeze up the hill.
I could go on and on. Manners are good...treating women as if they're fragile toys that can't do anything for themselves -- including that oh-so-difficult task of choosing our own food or walking the hell around a puddle -- is outdated for good reason.
Please come on into the 21st century with the rest of us.
And for another door story.... As I was leaving the office today I was "third in line" behind two gentlemen. The first gentleman left through the door and held it open behind him for his companion. I was close on their heels. However, either the second man didn't know I was there or simply wasn't inclined to hold the door. Whichever, the door nearly closed on me. The first man must have caught some sight of me behind the second man, and he stumbled a little as he hastened as fast as he could to catch the door before it slammed in my face and hold it open for me. Quite nice. The second guy just seemed oblivious.
I am a woman, and from the south. I do not wait for someone to open a a door for me. However, I find it rude when anyone, man or woman, 'drops' a door on me; that is what I call it - letting the door fall closed on me - if anyone is anywhere near me when I go through a door, I turn and make sure they have the door instead of letting it fall closed on them.
One thing I didn't see on your list - elevator/subway/bus ettiquette - it is polite to wait until the people on the conveyance get off before attempting to board. I hate it when people rush on, and make a point to teach this to my kids.
One thing I didn't see on your list - elevator/subway/bus ettiquette - it is polite to wait until the people on the conveyance get off before attempting to board. I hate it when people rush on, and make a point to teach this to my kids.
This happened at the pumpkin patch the other day. I told my kids to stand back and let the people off the trailer before we got on with our pumpkins. So, much like when you leave extra room on the freeway, some people pushed their way in and tried to get on the trailer while the last few were getting off. What is the rush? We all had to sit on hay bales.
No offense but half the things on that list would make me laugh my a$$ off if I guy tried to them to me. I agree that much on what's on there is HIGHLY misogynistic and not something you should teach your son(s). Of course manners are one thing, but half of this is beyond the realm of "kindness," IMHO.
A guy ordering a meal for me? Aww heellll no! I can talk, buddy.
Not swearing in front of me? Well...too bad, he's going to have to hear my potty mouth!
...and, another thing. I've never ever understood the whole walking around the side of the car to open to door thing. What the...? What's the point?!
You should teach your son manners, and a lesson in treating women as equals; not as precious little petals.
I hate to say it, but I was dating a guy who insisted on doing 90% of the crap on that list...well...I wouldn't be dating him very long.
I wanted to teach my sons all those things but their sister has kind of ruined it all. She would get all the bikes out and fix them and then lord it over them that she was more mechanical. Or when one son worked for hours fixing a washing machine but it wouldn't work until she took a look at it and instantly figured out the one last thing it needed to get it to work and crowed about it to her brothers for days.
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(He was sheepish and embarrassed.)
