Running away from your kids - Anyone?

[Mightyqueen801]

This is sad, but I knew a woman whose uncontrollable son decided to become a crackhead. He stole everything he could from her and her husband, and he finally got into trouble with the law and was placed in the juvenile detention center in our state until he was 18. Just before he got out, she sold her house and moved to a town 20 miles away. She asked her old neighbors not to tell him where she went, and they supported her in that. This was back in the 80's, when it was harder to find someone than it is now.

[txtqueen]

Abandonment is not the right thing.
Both my dad and my brothers dad didn't want to be parents so they bailed, I will NEVER know what its like to have two parents, to have a father and its something I struggle with.

[bouncethelight]

Originally Posted by bascherz

I totally realize that and have discussed it with my wife, which is why I posted. Neither of us could think of a good solution, and I don't WANT to leave her OR home. I just feel that I may eventually lose control and someone will get hurt if I stay and have more confrontations. At this point I am in self preservation mode. It won't do anyone in the family any good if I die of a heart attack. Heart and circulatory problems run in my family. Luck of the draw.

bascherz, you moving out for a few months is NOT even close to abandoning a child. Your son is 17, almost a legal adult, and your wife would still be in the home. If moving out means you can avoid a dangerous confrontation that might alter all of your lives for the worse - DO IT! It's only two months.

And once he turns 18, give him $1000 and tell him to go rent an apartment. If you were planning to pay for his college, and still would like to do that, tell him that if he lives on his own for the summer, and gets a job and pays his own way, that you will still help with college - but that he needs to live on his own, in his own place, from now on.

Parents walking out on kids is definitely wrong - but you're talking about a "kid" who turns 18 in two months - and your wife would still be there, only you would leave - so in your case, " going into self-preservation mode" is probably the exact right thing to do.

[Magritte25]

Take the kids to the ex's house. Take a vacation.

When you come back I'd try to find some outside help to assist you in dealing with your children. Good luck. AND TAKE A BREAK!