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So Michael is really into science and especially physics. He is in Cambridge Uk working on his phD. I sent him the fun video from Portable north pole and it started a dialogue about the myth of Santa.
He of course is an avowed atheist too.
he is convinced telling kids the lie about SAnta is child cruelty and only leads kids to eventually not trust adult as they will lie. Now he is coming around to feeling I did him a service by teaching him to examine everything and never take anything on face value. a hard won lesson by being lied to about Santa.
I suggested he lighten up and let his little sisters (age 7) enjoy the fun of the season and how much I resented my own father not letting me believe in anything fun either.
So is anybody else feeling betrayed by their parents because they "lied" about Santa or is my son just weird?
I think it depends on how far the family goes with the lie.
When a child figures it out on their own, asks the parents point blank, the parents should tell the truth. But there are parents who continue to lie to their children long after their children figured it out. Some have even gone to great lenghts to put reindeer paw prints in the snow and hire someone to be seen at the edge of the woods in a Santa suit. Parents who do that are asking for angry adult children.
I think another problem comes from parents who stop giving lots of gifts after the children figure it out. That's the main fear children have when they figure out Santa isn't real---that they won't get gifts anymore. While most parents continue giving gifts and giving lots of gifts, it's not uncommon for parents to cut back on their gift giving after the Santa myth is over.
I never felt betrayed for being lied to about Santa, but my parents did tell me the truth when I figured it out.
If they had tried to continue the lie when I approached them, I might have felt betrayed.
He's being absolutely ridiculous. For a physics instructor, he's got A LOT of growing up and maturity to do!
Tell him that I'm sure when he has kids he will be the best parent on the planet since he seems to know what's best/not best for kids now. I'm sure he'll have no problem in telling his wide-eyed, beautiful child "listen, kid, there's no such thing as Santa, the Tooth Fairy, or anything else. Now grow up!"
I HATE when people say that the whole Santa thing "scarred" them.... that is utter hogwash. If you, as an adult, allow something that trivial to "scar" your adulthood, then there you are seriously disturbed.
I would think that by age 6 most kids have figured out on their own that there is no Santa. They just play along with their parents/younger siblings.
I think he's being very immature and maybe manipulative. Put you on some kind of guilt trip over something that silly - and it was you who gave the Santa gifts after all, it was you who did the giving, so it sounds like he's pretty selfish not to be grateful for that.
Tell your son to do some research on St. Nicholas, the real Santa Claus. Tell him in essence you weren't lieing to him because at one time Santa was real. St. Nicholas was a kind and generous person who helped those in need. His kindness and generousity inspired others to follow in his footsteps long after he died and even expanding on his goodwill. St. Nicholas asked for nothing in return for his good deeds except for those that he helped be happy. In general the American version of St. Nicholas now known as Santa Claus models him at least that is how he started out but with one exception. The American Santa was also useful in helping parents raise their unruly children in a time when things were getting way out of hand. Since then the commercial industry has been using him to promote their wares. Coca Cola was one of the first to do this and other companies followed suit so Santa has been loosing his luster in what he is truley all about.
Here is an interesting site that talks about the evelution of St. Nicholas to the American Santa as well as more info. about St. Nicholas.
Oh for Pete's sake. Anger and angst over loving parents simply trying hard to keep a special time of innocence and wonder alive for a child. Don't they already grow up too fast as it is???
Like MILLIONS of other parents, my parents went to pretty great lengths to keep the legend of Santa alive for my siblings and I to enjoy, and the way I look at is "damn, that was sweet of them". I think MOST people do. I mean honestly, does it really have to get any more complex than that?
There are just too many people are out there looking for a convenient direction to blame their life's sorrows on if you ask me. Each year brings a hip new complex and some self-appointed Dr. Phil "czar of knowledge" type to 'verify' it's existence ... and too many sheeple buy into these zany theories in an attempt to justify why things are amiss in their lives. This year it seems to be Santa anger. Give it a couple months and the Valentines Day anger issues will come to light. What's next - "millions of parents are guilty of child abuse through the selfish and cruel use of orthodontics"?
This thread ought to get interesting. I predict thousand-word essays by day's end.
Totally ridiculous...for a grown man to hang onto anger about something that is a cultural icon of kindness and giving. Sounds to me like he is looking for excuses to be mad at you and to "justify" his atheism (which obviously should not need justifying but apparently does after reading some posts lately about Santa and Christmas). If he is such a grudge holder and filled with anger then I hope he is not married or that he doesn't get involved with someone until he figures out why he is really so angry.
Im still anxiously waiting for the perspective that I am CERTAIN will come from the well known poster(s) who cannot contribute to deceiving their incredibly gifted children by such myths and fantasies which are clearly detrimental and deceptive.
As for me - that boy is being ridiculous and is either immature or manipulative. Either way at 28 I would not hesitate to tell him I agree and would like reimbursement for all the gifts brought by the myth. December 25th would be a great repayment date.
So Michael is really into science and especially physics. He is in Cambridge Uk working on his phD. I sent him the fun video from Portable north pole and it started a dialogue about the myth of Santa.
He of course is an avowed atheist too.
he is convinced telling kids the lie about SAnta is child cruelty and only leads kids to eventually not trust adult as they will lie. Now he is coming around to feeling I did him a service by teaching him to examine everything and never take anything on face value. a hard won lesson by being lied to about Santa.
I suggested he lighten up and let his little sisters (age 7) enjoy the fun of the season and how much I resented my own father not letting me believe in anything fun either.
So is anybody else feeling betrayed by their parents because they "lied" about Santa or is my son just weird?
Your son sounds like a very unhappy person...
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