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I've been home the past 4 years with my little ones. I like being at home, I like the stress free lifestyle that being at home offered. But a job jumped into my lap quite unexpectedly and I felt I had to take it. My youngest is 3. Well, it's been a full week and I'm exhausted. How do working moms get it all done? What do you let slide in terms of household duties? When do you do laundry? Do you cook meals at night? I know these all sound like silly questions, but I had a system and was able to do it all. I have no system now and I'm feeling a little stressed.
I've been home the past 4 years with my little ones. I like being at home, I like the stress free lifestyle that being at home offered. But a job jumped into my lap quite unexpectedly and I felt I had to take it. My youngest is 3. Well, it's been a full week and I'm exhausted. How do working moms get it all done?
I've done both----staying home and working. I worked when mine were young, became a SAHM four four years during elementary school, quit working due to an ill child for 7 years, and returned to work two years ago. I found that I was busier when I was a SAHM---always running errands, etc. When I'm working, I always wonder why I seemed to be driving around constantly when I was a SAHM but not as a working mother. The reality is that you simply chose to not do many things as a working mother. For instance, I didn't have time to shop for bargains as a working mother, I would drop off dry cleaning once a month istead of once a week, etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sandycat
What do you let slide in terms of household duties? When do you do laundry? Do you cook meals at night?
Whenever I would get a fantastic job offer, I'd use it as bargaining power with my husband. I told him that I would take the job if he would help more. There is no reason a wife should be expected to do all of the housework if both parents work.
We split the house in half. My husband was responsible for the first floor and the outside. I was responsible for the second floor and the laundry. We would alternate the cooking and the one who didn't cook did the dishes that night.
The reason my husband had the first floor and I the second floor is because he got home from work three hours earlier. Plus, he was better at managing his time because I would get overwhelmed. The first floor was the most important floor because guests saw it. I'd clean the bathrooms, vaccume and dust once a week----wipe down and straighten up throughout the week.
I've tackled laundry a million different ways, but daily loads keeps up with it better. Depending on volume, it was only a load a day but ended up being three loads a day when the children's clothes got larger. When it was three loads a day, I'd toss one in the morning, one when I got home, and one when I went to bed. The biggest challenge was putting it away in the drawers so I forced myself to put everything away before going to bed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sandycat
I know these all sound like silly questions, but I had a system and was able to do it all. I have no system now and I'm feeling a little stressed.
Maybe I'm a low energy person, but it always took me four to six weeks to adjust to a new job---even if I had already been working a previous job. Adjusting is stressful!
Be kind to yourself. Relax and get the sleep you need. Being a calm, happy mother is more important than having a perfectly clean house.
You have to prioritize. That means you must spend time with the child and let the housework go. Don't try to do it all.
Here's a poem that you can put up on your wall to make sure any visitors know immediately why your housework might not be done:
Cooking and cleaning can wait for Tomorrow
Babies grow up we've learned to our Sorrow
So settle down cobwebs, dust go to Sleep
I'm rocking my Baby and babies don't Keep
You split household activities with your husband, or don't lose sleep over them not being done.
Get a cleaning person if you can. Season meat and divide into serving/cooking portions then freexe. I have cooked a few meals on Sunday and frozen for the week - but now I take the meat portion of my meal out overnight - in the morning I bake the meat or cook while making coffee and checking email and then when I get home I have a vegetable and starch to make. Meals during the week are not very complicated, but healthy and I overshop so I dont have to run out for much. Grocery shopping - in our area you can shop online and pick up in the drive thru - helps a ton! Laundry can be done while watching tv.
Get a cleaning person if you can. Season meat and divide into serving/cooking portions then freexe. I have cooked a few meals on Sunday and frozen for the week - but now I take the meat portion of my meal out overnight - in the morning I bake the meat or cook while making coffee and checking email and then when I get home I have a vegetable and starch to make. Meals during the week are not very complicated, but healthy and I overshop so I dont have to run out for much. Grocery shopping - in our area you can shop online and pick up in the drive thru - helps a ton! Laundry can be done while watching tv.
I never had the discipline that you have, Stillthesame.
But after years of having a laundry schedule, when the tick-tick-ticking sound of 60 Minutes comes on Sunday evenings, I smell Bounce and my arms start moving in "folding" motions.
Sandy- I had a friend who dressed her toddler for school- before she put her to bed..... whatever works! It will get better once you find your family's rhythm.... Just remember that, no matter how together the other moms appear, all are mastering the art of juggling. And most, if not all, have wondered how the other moms seem to be doing it while appearing rested and sane.
Last edited by Magnolia Bloom; 03-13-2010 at 12:41 PM..
It's just a "different" routine...you'll figure out what works for you....I admit to being a so-so housekeeper..especially when my kids were younger. What you can let slide really depends on what you can live with. For me - bathroooms and kitchen generally take first priority WRT cleaning...I can go for weeks without dusting ( and we live in a dry and dusty climate - it just isn't something that bothers me THAT much but it might someone else)... Laundry I like the idea of doing a little every night but honestly I end up doing it all in one fell swoop....as someone said, that is something that can be done while watching TV - and it's something that even little kids can help with - they can help sort and carry.....As far as cooking goes....I stuck to pretty simple meals when my kids were young because it was easy and that's what they liked....casseroles are easy and the crockpot is your friend. Also....<whispering> your kids will NOT suffer any long term damage if the occasionally eat a bowl of cereal for dinner.....at least not that I've noticed yet. It is an exhausting thing to get used to but you'll figure it out - it will take some time. And congrats to you for having a job land in your lap - especially in today's economy!
ETA - also - if you are working full time now, you do realized (I hope) that you husband/SO will need to step up and take some of that stuff off your plate too....You can't both be working fulltime outside the home and only one of you have another job when you get home...that usually doesn't work too well for long. One you will end up exhausted and short tempered (guess who).
Last edited by maciesmom; 03-13-2010 at 01:33 PM..
I worked full time when my oldest was little, then was a SAHM, now I work part time withe my kids being 11 and almost too.
I had to be a planner when I worked FT. I planned a weeks menu and hung it on the fridge so we all would know what we would be eating that week. We would have a light week day breakfast of oatmeal, toast, yogurt, a banana, cheese sticks, dry cereal, whatever we could do in under 5 min.
For dinner in the evenings Monday would be pasta, a bag of salad and garlic toast. EVERY Monday was pasta. Quick, easy and good. One night was always breakfast food, again quick and easy. Then I would only have 3 meal to worry about. One dish meals are great-chicken broccoli casserole, or a big stir fry in one big skillet. Like someone else said crock pots are great for a roast and veggies or BBQ chicken or Chilli or any kind of soup. Always unload the dish washer in the mornings so after dinner it is ready to be filled up.
For laundry I would put a load on just about every night. Put it in the dryer in the morning and fold it in the evening. Sometimes that as far as it got but at least it was folded. I had a basket for each of the kids too. I was ok with not always putting the clothes away if the were at least folded and in the right room.
Get rid of clutter too. If you only put out 1 basket of toys then thats all you will need to clean up. Then on the weekend switch the toys around, letting the kids pick.
This idea is no fun but it worked for my family. Don't sleep in on Sat. I would get up and do my grocery shopping early. Then come home put it all away, even doing things like cutting up the celery ,carrots, onions, whatever and putting them in zip lock bags. Then when hubby and kids get up They would go out for breakfast and thats when I would clean the bathrooms, mop, dust and all of the house work as fast as I could because that was the only time I cleaned. The rest of the weekend was family time.
Just give yourself time to adjust, it will take a while to get it all together. I hope Dad will be willing to help alot too.
Thanks, yes, DH is pitching in a lot, he always has, but he works long hours so sometimes it's easier to just get it done myself. I do all of the cooking during the week since we like to eat earlier and then my husband comes home and eats later. I normally make a menu for the week, and do all the shopping on the weekend. Mondays used to be my laundry day, I'd stay home all day to do laundry. I know we'll all adjust. It is a primo job though, working as a teacher at my child's school, so at least my daughter and I share a schedule. I'm doing it until the end of the school year (to test the waters) and then we'll see what happens next year. My 3 year old is having a hard time adjusting, he's very much attached to me, but I think it'll get better. Thanks everyone.
It is tough, you will be exhausted alot. Just pray til the kids get bigger and can help you out.
#1 thing is to schedule as much as you can - menus, shopping, etc. Go out to eat or do takeout one night a week if possible. Not too much, as it is bad for you.
Rely on relatives if you are able (grandparents) which is a HUGE help. I know what you mean about a spouse who works long hours. During certain projects my spouse works 55-60 hour weeks. Which means I do most things. And because of the downturn and slashing of jobs - this is becoming modus operandi for most corps now (don't get me started on that).
I get up at 5:30am to get it all done. I only get 6 hours a night sleep. Make sure you keep your health up and take vitamins. Keep working though - if only for the good teacher benefits. it is worth it.
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and we live in a dry and dusty climate - it just isn't something that bothers me THAT much but it might someone else)... Laundry I like the idea of doing a little every night but honestly I end up doing it all in one fell swoop....as someone said, that is something that can be done while watching TV - and it's something that even little kids can help with - they can help sort and carry.....As far as cooking goes....I stuck to pretty simple meals when my kids were young because it was easy and that's what they liked....casseroles are easy and the crockpot is your friend. Also....<whispering> your kids will NOT suffer any long term damage if the occasionally eat a bowl of cereal for dinner.....at least not that I've noticed yet. It is an exhausting thing to get used to but you'll figure it out - it will take some time. And congrats to you for having a job land in your lap - especially in today's economy!
