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Over the past 2 1/2 years, how many part-time jobs have you had in addition to your full-time one? There is no way you are going to retire that debt without adding another job(s).
In her parents place I would charge her rent, but put 100% towards HER future. I don't believe in able-bodied parents using their children's resources for themselves.
Surely you realize it costs money to have a person living in your home? The parents may not even be breaking even on the deal.
Maybe they don't believe in able-bodied adults living for free at someone else's expense?
At any rate, it is their home and their money paying for the expenses. That means it is their call.
Surely you realize it costs money to have a person living in your home? The parents may not even be breaking even on the deal.
Maybe they don't believe in able-bodied adults living for free at someone else's expense?
At any rate, it is their home and their money paying for the expenses. That means it is their call.
Things like power/water and some incidentals will go up some, but the mortgage is what it is, no matter whether one person is living in the house or ten. The costs won't scale linearly with the number of people in the home.
I can't believe flyingsaucermom is critical of parents who charge their adult children rent and keep the money. Food, power, water will all go up -- doesn't matter how much. It's money you wouldn't be paying out if the child weren't there. You can't put a price on the inconvenience of having another person in your space all the time, either. No parent is obligated to provide free housing to an adult child. Just ... no.
If a parent wants to agree to a below-market amount of rent, the parent is already doing the child a favor and deserves to keep the dang money. If the child doesn't like it, the child is welcome to go find another place to live.
I can't believe flyingsaucermom is critical of parents who charge their adult children rent and keep the money. Food, power, water will all go up -- doesn't matter how much. It's money you wouldn't be paying out if the child weren't there. You can't put a price on the inconvenience of having another person in your space all the time, either. No parent is obligated to provide free housing to an adult child. Just ... no.
If a parent wants to agree to a below-market amount of rent, the parent is already doing the child a favor and deserves to keep the dang money. If the child doesn't like it, the child is welcome to go find another place to live.
She has a full time job that requires a lot of driving. She goes to church and the gym. She's not there "all the time".
We have difference of values, that is all. I feel an imperative to help my children to the fullest of my ability, and that would include helping them get out of debt and a sure financial footing.
The parents, in this case, are in debt themselves. They might very well need the income.
We also listen to Dave Ramsey and he would NEVER recommend you pay tithes given the numbers you've presented here. He is very generous and wants people to be generous but you ARE the poor in this case. You are not somebody who has a solid foundation on which to give to others and thus you are NOT the person he would suggest this to. He would say to contribute your time instead.
She has a full time job that requires a lot of driving. She goes to church and the gym. She's not there "all the time".
We have difference of values, that is all. I feel an imperative to help my children to the fullest of my ability, and that would include helping them get out of debt and a sure financial footing.
The parents, in this case, are in debt themselves. They might very well need the income.
Are they helping, though? Or are they making it possible for OP to not help herself? In two plus years, what has OP done to improve her situation? As far as I can tell, nothing.
Are they helping, though? Or are they making it possible for OP to not help herself? In two plus years, what has OP done to improve her situation? As far as I can tell, nothing.
No, but the reason isn't from the rent situation, wouldn't you agree? The living situation is probably the best she can do. Her issues are behavioral and, though we don't know for sure, it would mom and dad aren't encouraging her to do the things we have encouraged, namely to reduce or cease tithing, get a second job, drop the life insurance, gym membership and dry cleaning.
As your kids get older, "nurturing" becomes more like "life coaching". You spend time to teach them things like time and money management. You try to develop their sense of forward thinking.
No, but the reason isn't from the rent situation, wouldn't you agree? The living situation is probably the best she can do. Her issues are behavioral and, though we don't know for sure, it would mom and dad aren't encouraging her to do the things we have encouraged, namely to reduce or cease tithing, get a second job, drop the life insurance, gym membership and dry cleaning.
I'm saying because she can live with her parents very inexpensively, she is content to spend beyond her means and not address her income problem. If she had no choice but to get her finances under control or be homeless, I'm willing to bet she would figure out a way to get her finances under control.
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingsaucermom
As your kids get older, "nurturing" becomes more like "life coaching". You spend time to teach them things like time and money management. You try to develop their sense of forward thinking.
As the mother of 2 self-sufficient adults in their 20s, I completely agree with this.
ETA: OP isn't getting out of debt. It appears she is making her minimum payments, nothing more. She'd be out of debt by now if that were her priority. She hasn't taken on new debt, which is something. (Kudos to you OP on that).
Last edited by Petunia 100; 11-20-2019 at 11:50 AM..
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