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No loans. No grudges. Similar salaries. Good relationships. No other issues.
Fair??
I think absolutely not
What if the daughter in your twist who gets 250k lived close to mom, gave up her Saturdays every week to help mom grocery shop, take her to the salon, took time off of work to take mom to the doctor, etc while the daughter who got 50k moved several states away and only saw mom once every few years and called every so often? Over the course of 20 years, the daughter who got more could have spent thousands of hours helping mom. Do you still think it should be evenly split?
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 23 days ago)
35,717 posts, read 18,065,864 times
Reputation: 50772
Quote:
Originally Posted by westcoastforme
Sorry kid 2,3, and 4 because you were born 1 year, 2 years, and 4 years after granny passed you don’t get a dime. But your brother who is just a few years older than you has $43,000 and so do all of your cousins
Westcoast, that's what happens when grandparents die. The estate is distributed to the heirs that are alive at the time their estate is settled.
Didn't you say upthread that you only intend to have one child? So this isn't even an issue.
The wife is even more outraged then me so the drivel posted here is a fail
And yes the 215/85 is relevant
Then frankly your wife deserves to receive nothing. And if grandma was alive to see her behavior, nothing is probably what she would have received.
Greed and envy are deadly sins for a reason.
Quote:
Originally Posted by westcoastforme
Sorry kid 2,3, and 4 because you were born 1 year, 2 years, and 4 years after granny passed you don’t get a dime. But your brother who is just a few years older than you has $43,000 and so do all of your cousins
Yep, because kids 2, 3, and 4 never knew granny. Why should they be entitled to proceeds from the estate of a person they never even met?
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 23 days ago)
35,717 posts, read 18,065,864 times
Reputation: 50772
westcoast, this is from my heart.
What you and your wife are doing here is going to create an enormous rift in the family, and will strand your daughter, an only child, from her 4 cousins.
I don't know if she has cousins on your side, or if you still are facing another extremely contentious fight over money when your parents pass on that might divide her from that side of the family too.
Money isn't everything. Family is. And if your daughter enjoys her relationship with her cousins, suck this one up.
It's a decision your MIL made, and it is most probably legally binding.
And years from now, your daughter will say well, I have cousins but I don't have a relationship with them. It was something about an inheritance. My parents were outraged that I wasn't given 4X the money each of my cousins were. *shrugs*
Sorry kid 2,3, and 4 because you were born 1 year, 2 years, and 4 years after granny passed you don’t get a dime. But your brother who is just a few years older than you has $43,000 and so do all of your cousins
Yes, that's exactly what you say.
You also teach them that just because they were born DOES NOT entitle them to ANYONE'S money.
You teach them that life is not "fair", that the will always be people who have more than them.
You teach them how to graciously appreciate ANY gift that is given AND not throw 2 year old tantrums because some one got more than them.
If I even remotely thought my husband would act this ungracious after being left 100k, I'd set his bed on fire with him in it THEN return the inheritance.
Sorry but this is Greediness and entitlement at its finest and absolutely reaffirms my view on not leaving large sums of money to anyone.
What you and your wife are doing here is going to create an enormous rift in the family, and will strand your daughter, an only child, from her 4 cousins.
I don't know if she has cousins on your side, or if you still are facing another extremely contentious fight over money when your parents pass on that might divide her from that side of the family too.
Money isn't everything. Family is. And if your daughter enjoys her relationship with her cousins, suck this one up.
It's a decision your MIL made, and it is most probably legally binding.
And years from now, your daughter will say well, I have cousins but I don't have a relationship with them. It was something about an inheritance. My parents were outraged that I wasn't given 4X the money each of my cousins were. *shrugs*
The cousin did not get 4xs the amount. Each individual kid got exactly the same amount. Legally the parents can no more spend the 1 year olds dough than you can. His kid was treated like everyone else.
Every kid has a nice start on a college fund. They can't take 4 year olds money and give it to 10 year old
This is flat out greed. Their mad because they didn't get more.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 23 days ago)
35,717 posts, read 18,065,864 times
Reputation: 50772
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliza61nyc
The cousin did not get 4xs the amount. Each individual kid got exactly the same amount. Legally the parents can no more spend the 1 year olds dough than you can. His kid was treated like everyone else.
Every kid has a nice start on a college fund. They can't take 4 year olds money and give it to 10 year old
This is flat out greed. Their mad because they didn't get more.
What if the daughter in your twist who gets 250k lived close to mom, gave up her Saturdays every week to help mom grocery shop, take her to the salon, took time off of work to take mom to the doctor, etc while the daughter who got 50k moved several states away and only saw mom once every few years and called every so often? Over the course of 20 years, the daughter who got more could have spent thousands of hours helping mom. Do you still think it should be evenly split?
This is not the case. All live within 15 minutes of each other. All close. Granny drove herself and did her own things.
In your scenario I can see closer kid getting more. Those are different circumstances
This thread gave me heartburn. OP, if I were a smaller person I might very well admit to feeling a certain amount of glee that your family got less than the other family as karmic payback for greed and ingratitude. But that would be unkind, especially since you all are grieving the death of a loved one.
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