Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Thank God I had only one child. He is the only one. No siblings to fight with. He can give what he feels his child needs. Nothing worse than giving a teenager a lump sum of money. How long do you think it will last? They will spend every cent on a car clothes and other frivolous things. What about their college loan? Oh, they forgot about their expenses......
It's not incumbent upon the grandmother to play fortune-teller or clairvoyant and predict what may or may not be in the future.
Even if another child had been born shortly before her death, it's unlikely she would have thought, or even had the time to add a codicil to the will to include the newborn.
Wow, the jealousy is strong with this one.
The money wasn't left to households, it was left to individuals, and it was done fairly. The grandmother has no reason to be ashamed, and is probably thrilled to death she could provide something for her precious grandchildren.
There mere fact that you refuse to recognize individuals and keep attempting to crow-bar the issue into a comparison of households suggests you have unreal expectations.
Actually I believe that. A spouse is chosen and if you have a good/strong marriage no spouse should want their spouse to financially suffer when they die.
Life isn't right or fair. Get over it. Granny did what "she" wanted.
It wasn't left to families. It was left to individuals.p
I’m talking after spouse dies she gives all money to her kids from first marriage. And that money was the husbands before getting married to 2nd wife
Thank God I had only one child. He is the only one. No siblings to fight with. He can give what he feels his child needs. Nothing worse than giving a teenager a lump sum of money. How long do you think it will last? They will spend every cent on a car clothes and other frivolous things. What about their college loan? Oh, they forgot about their expenses......
Ya I would wait til 25 or 30
After teaching them hard work and values throughout their life
Strange that OP is trying to convince a bunch of strangers what is fair as if it matters.
Grandma's dead and it really doesn't matter to us. I guess it gives him a chance to vent.
If we took a vote it would not change what Grandma wanted to do with her money.
It was her money wasn't it?
That's the whole point... The OP isn't trying to argue what strangers think... The point has always been, Grandma did something arbitrary and now it created some blowback... I think posters here trying to argue with him have a problem more if what they think is right than with Grandma's creating a problem with arbitrary consideration...which is the opposite of the OPs point of the scenario...
Exactly! Her money her wishes...not yours. When you die you get to decide what to do with "your" money.
Quote:
Originally Posted by westcoastforme
Ya she did but was grossly unequal
So? It's really not your business what she did with her money. It was her choice. Maybe she should have left daughter with one child nothing. If I was granny seeing beyond the grave I would think daughter with one child is mighty ungrateful and should have gotten nothing.
So if one person daughter has 10 kids and one daughter has 1
Daughter 1 and family should get 252,000$ and daughter 2 and fam should get 46,000$?
Pfffffft
Error? Nope. No error. The money being distributed as the owner instructed is no error. Additionally if every person received the same amount then the distribution is equal
DH and I have one child. SIL has 3. If my Mother-in-law decided to distribute her assets like the person described in the OP, I wouldn't have an issue with it. It's her money, she can do as she likes. Either splitting it equally between the daughters, or equally between them and the grandkids...either way you can look at it as an equal distribution. Sometimes the child who did the brunt of the caregiving also gets extra, which seems fair as well since they likely sacrificed their time, energy, and earning potential to be there.
Essentially, look at anything you happen to be lucky enough to inherit as a windfall. It's an awesome gift, but you didn't necessarily "deserve" or "earn" it.
Old lady has 2 adult daughters. Old lady has 300,000 at death.
One daughter has 4 kids. One daughter has 1 kid.
Old lady leaves $43,000 to each grand kid and 43,000 to each daughter.
43,000 x 7= $301,000
Only thing is one daughter and her family got $215,000 essentially and one daughter and her family got only $86,000.
My personal opinion is that this is unfair. Both daughters have good relationships with their mom and both daughters are solid middle class with household income a little more than $100,00 p/y.( not like the daughter with 1 kid is a millionaire and doesnt need the money.)
Thoughts?
It's her money, so it's her choice. Unfortunately, I don't think it's a very wise one or a fair one. Basically she is rewarding one daughter for being more fecund than the other.
To me, the chief beneficiaries of a will should be the children, with minor bequests going to the grandchildren.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
