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I think he means that instead of initiating payment from an online checking account to a payee, his wife had authorized various entities to automatically pull money out of the account, whether it was owed or not.
I could be wrong.
I am sad for him. I remember what it felt like to drown in debt.
And what entities pull money out if it is not owed? Only thing I can think of is a charity pledge. In any event, certainly seems worth the $30 to end the authorized withdrawal on the bank's end.
What's a secret credit card? I have no idea what CC my wife has, that is her business. I don't monitor her spending, she is a big girl and I trust her 100% to be responsible with money.
Gosh someone on here who believes that not everything a spouse does is the other spouses business. Amazing. If shes paying the bills on her cc, her business not the husbands.
She does not seem to be able to control herself when it comes to debt.
Perhaps it would be possible for her, at your insistence, to implement some form of a credit freeze as if her identity had been stolen. This would prevent her from opening up new credit card accounts.
It is very difficult to budget, she had over 20 accounts taking auto-payments out of our account, many of them for credit cards we no longer have. If you shut off the payment through the bank, they charge you $30 per account. You cannot just close the account, the bank will not close it and will keep paying them.
Perhaps you can terminate the auto-payment provision with the credit card company so that all future payments must be made via a paper check & snail mail, then lock your bank accounts so no future auto-payment can be implemented without your express consent.
In some fundamental sense, the problem isn't money and I suspect you realize it. The problem is something else, and money is just a symptom.
What's a secret credit card? I have no idea what CC my wife has, that is her business. I don't monitor her spending, she is a big girl and I trust her 100% to be responsible with money.
Good for you. Many have happily "trusted" for years then paid dearly for it. It's not a problem... until it is.
Gosh someone on here who believes that not everything a spouse does is the other spouses business. Amazing. If shes paying the bills on her cc, her business not the husbands.
I understand your point, but I partially disagree. There are two cases:
Case A: She has significant non-marital assets. These assets are her sole & separate property in her own name that pre-date the marriage. If she purchases on credit and pays only with her sole & separate non-marital asset, then I agree with you.
Case B: She has no non-marital assets. In this case, any payment on her credit card is not with HER money; it is with THEIR money, and hence it is his business.
Last edited by RationalExpectations; 08-30-2019 at 08:11 AM..
even if the money is earned/pre marital wife's money, do you think she is keeping secret her purchase of shoes from you? she is keeping secret her payment for 1 night at a local hotel and a bunch of sex toys that you arent using.
Gosh someone on here who believes that not everything a spouse does is the other spouses business. Amazing. If shes paying the bills on her cc, her business not the husbands.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oceangaia
The word in bold is what the entire issue hinges upon.
That's important, of course, but it isn't the only thing that is important. WHAT MONEY is she using to pay the bill and WHO OWNS THAT MONEY?
If the money she's using to pay the debt comes from her separate, non-marital asset assets (funds that pre-date the marriage) then it is clearly her decision to make, and her decision to keep it secret from her husband is her business. I wouldn't keep it secret, but that's me.
If instead the money she's using to pay the debt comes from their joint savings & current income -- that's a problem, as it is THEIR jointly owned money rather than her separately owned money.
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