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She's on her 3rd house in 5 years. Refi 1st house, sold as short sale (bank ate $100,000 loss), Refi 2nd house, went to foreclosure (bank at $240,000 loss), she's on house number 3, she took a hard money loan (1 yr balloon), but she didn't/couldn't get enough cash to fully build (or spent some of it). Now the note is due June 1st, she has to finish (decks, baths, odd/ends) by end of may, get appraised and close new loan (supposedly approved for).
I loaned her $4000 to work on the house and get a head start on finishing trim work, etc at least until her tax return comes in, now it's delayed due to missing paperwork. I have some extra cash as I've been working 7 days a week since Nov 09, building up cash after working part time going through school.
My question is this. Should I put good money after bad and lend her what money I have to finish the house in the hopes that she gets the house refi'd and pays me back, or do I cut my losses at this point and watch her sink into the abyss that she helped create (along with ex-husband).
I'd feel bad if she lost the house due to my not helping more, but I'd also feel bad if I lost another $6000 on top of the $4000 I've loaned her, because honestly I think that unless she gets an extension on her hard money loan, she'll lose the house regardless of what I do or don't do.
My wife is vehemently against the idea of giving my sister more money, and I can't blame her, my sister has a Harley Fat boy in the garage that she refuses to sell and her now live in, ex-husband has 2 Harleys that he refuses to sell. Over $30,000 worth of toys that could help save the house. Her reason for not selling the Harley is that she wouldn't be able to buy it again.
Right now I'm leaning toward not giving her anymore cash, but if she doesn't get tax return back before needing to refi this house, then that money is gone.
Am I wrong for not helping more than I can? Are there any other options besides me giving her more cash? I asked her if she's inquired about a loan extension with the hard money guy, she has not. She won't do that, won't sell her Harley, etc. And to add insult to injury, some of the last bit of cash that I gave her, she used to pay her property taxes, etc.
Sorry for the rambling post, I just don't know who to ask for advice, I can't ask my Mom, who quit her job friday to try and get disability and want's money from me, or my other Brother in law who spent $350,000 building a $250,000 house or my ex brother in law who has blown $500,000 in the last 5 years.
I just started working full time again in Nov 09 and my wife got a decent job in Jan 2010 (decent for TN). I'm made to feel like the greedy bad guy, though I'm working 2 jobs and my wife works, I have no debt and 2 older paid for cars (frugal squirrel).
Do I have a question? How can I help my sister without losing anymore of my hard earned money and without being the bad guy in the deal!
Everyday I speak to people in similar situations facing losing their homes. You story "tops", what home owners tell me!
As for the "Bikes" - ask her what is more important, keeping the home, or living on the road.
Recently I had a client with a $900 per month car payment, and a mortgage payment of $1000. She was behind on her mortgage 6 months. She had tried to work on a modification to lower her payments, and she was rejected because her expenses were to high. After I reviewed her application - can you guess why she was rejected? I promptly told her to get rid of her car.
If you give your sister more money for the house you are only enabling her pattern of irresponsible homeownership, in my opinion. You will not only be supporting her but also her live-in. Is this what a responsible adult expects of family members?
Hate to sound harsh but here goes: some people aren't meant to be homeowners. Your sister appears to be one of those people who should be a renter and not a homeowner.
To say you gave it a college try would be an understatement.
Time for sister to grow up, accept responsibilities and become financially educated. I hope she's uttered at least one 'thank you' for the thousands you've thrown in her direction or perhaps a 'i'm sorry' for the conglomerated mess she seems to drag everyone else into.
Do not lend her another penny. And many, many kudos to you for helping as long as you did.
is her harley paid off? if it is lend her the loot but have her sign over the harley title to you for collateral. If you give her a choice she cant get mad but if you flat out say no than she may hold that against you.
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