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This final stage is part of pet care.
Some fair well in tending to this duty to regard that living creature.
Oddly I notice the same in humans. They will be so concerned during the young years of their child, yet to their elders they : are ' meh, they are old...just let em wither. Such a waste to society...such a burden to take them for appointments'.
Op: this pet is yours to ease to the natural course of life and dying. And as a vet said once, every death is natural ( yes even a heart attack is natural from heart disease). Not all dying moments are done with compassion. So that's my pearl of useless wisdom I suppose. ...
It's a tough call and as a cat owner for seventy years I've come to a decision but it's never easy at the time.
My first cat as an adult lived nineteen years, slipped into a coma, woke once to call to me and slipped away again quietly. Easy enough for us. Although there can be little to tell how much a cat is actually hurting.
I was eventually to learn every cat death is different. One of our natural deaths was agonizing and agonizingly slow and that was our turning point.
I don't like the clinical aspects of euthanasia. I don't like moving a dying cat to an unfamiliar place. I don't like paying an outrageous amount of money for something which could be inexpensive. And the last time I didn't like all the "upselling" they tried to do while we were in the office. Paw print? Memory book? Special frame for picture? Special box to carry her home? That was truly hideous.
What I have learned is to give the office a heads-up ahead of time and secure a connection because no one rushes to help in an emergency anymore if they have something else they are doing.
The vet before my present one even promised to come to the house when the time came and that's why I chose her. But when I needed her she wouldn't come. So even that is no guarantee.
I am still searching for a sub rosa "vet" who will come to the house to euthanize without all the bells and whistles.
In home euthanasia is becoming more and more available. Our daughter's dog had an inoperable tumor behind
his eye and his eye had turned red from bleeding. Her vet came to the house and he left this world peacefully, in his "mom's" arms after a having his favorite treats.
A sedative was given first and our daughter had time to just hold him while he was awake and very calm before the second med was administered. He was a 17 year old pit mix who had giving our family so much love for so long.
We've had other dogs who died at home from natural causes and of course if that's possible, it's the best. Our dogs tend to live long lives so there are sometimes conditions like cancer that warrant veterinary assistance.
I get the sense -- not surprisingly -- that not consulting, involving, paying, and relying entirely on a vet at the end is considered negligent, cruel, and abusive. The industry has conditioned us well! Contrary to certain opinions, I have NO desire to see my beloved pet suffer and, if and when I perceive that he is, will be in the car on my way to his euthanasia. But for now (today) I continue to wait and watch and hope that's not necessary.
YMMV.
I'd disagree. I have several veterinarians as aunts, uncles, cousins in my family too.
With my parent's last dog, they took him in because he was suffering some level of distress, it was diagnosed as a long term terminal condition by minimally invasive diagnostic methods (not sure what but he never spend a night at the vet or was anesthetized, so no more than a blood test) and they went home with pain meds and told "you'll know when its time." And when it got to the point that he was in distress and laboring to breathe and unable to walk they brought him to be euthanized.
Our dog before that simply fell over dead. While 12, she was otherwise healthy, and they rushed her to the vet as it was that much of a shock but she was gone, they would have brought her there anyway to handle the cremation.
IMO you've fulfilled your obligation to the old guy by taking him to get treated for the infection with antibiotics...presumably either your experience or the vet's suggestion is what led you to conclude a tumor is the cause of the neurological decline, and there's no reason to pay lots of money to extend his inevitably declining quality of life.
I believe euthanasia is our last loving gift to a dying pet. It's the final thing we can do for them that they can't do for themself - like we fed them, gave them water, took them outside, and cared for them during their life. (And yes, i believe us humans should be able to make the choice for ourselves when we're dying, also.)
My vets have told me that pets very often hide their pain. I have not seen all of your posts, but if you pet is still eating and drinking every day and able to go to the bathroom, you probably still have time.
I have euthanized four pets in my life and had one pass naturally. With all dogs that were euthanized, i know that with 3 we waited too long. One ended up having a seizure - it was horrible and i wish i hadn't witnessed it. We knew she was sick and dying and just should have had her humanely euthanized sooner. But it's so freaking hard.
One had a stroke, she was very old and had cancer and again we waited too long. That was terrible too. But it's just a hard decision and one that only the pet owner can make. This time we swear we will not wait TOO long... We've not had a bad experience with vets or the process itself... it's been very peaceful and calm.
Also - i don't think you should ever feel like your vet can force you to get tests or treatments for a 17-yr old pet. My vets never did when my pets were old, or one had a cancer tumor. She was only 4 and he even told us that having the surgery would not even give her 2 extra months. It's your choice as a pet owner.
I wish you the best.
Last edited by Jellybean50; 01-06-2022 at 11:34 PM..
In home euthanasia is becoming more and more available. Our daughter's dog had an inoperable tumor behind
his eye and his eye had turned red from bleeding. Her vet came to the house and he left this world peacefully, in his "mom's" arms after a having his favorite treats.
A sedative was given first and our daughter had time to just hold him while he was awake and very calm before the second med was administered. He was a 17 year old pit mix who had giving our family so much love for so long.
Yes - there are many who will come to the house now, and also many kind vets and vet techs.
Our last 4-yr old dog with cancer/a large tumor had to be taken as an emergency during COVID.
They came out to the car to take care of her (she was very large), and everything was done very kindly. The vet tech told me i could climb in the back seat once she got the leg shaved and the catheter in for the sedative. (She went back in and got the vet after that.)
I was allowed to cuddle with my dog the whole time. They were really good people.
The REASON it is so hard and we so often feel so guilty afterwards is because we are killing - murdering, if you will, since there's intent - our pets who love and trust us. Let's not fool ourselves or mince words. If they're suffering, of course it's a mercy; if they're not (and, again, I don't buy into the idea that every dying pet is suffering), it's not so straightforward. After 40 years and multiple experiences, I find I'm back where I started at 18: wondering if I really have that right...at least in every case.
At any rate, I don't think we should be as "thought-less" and cavalier about it as we as a society have become. At the first sign of infirmity (especially incontinence) for many pet owners, it's simply a given that it's time for the needle, and on to the next pet who's less trouble. For the first pet's own good, of course!
On the other extreme, I know many pet parents who torture their old sick pets with aggressive testing and treatments and procedures long after they humanely should.
I'm guess I'm saying maybe nature is kinder than we give her credit for and she should play more of a role here. There should be a happy middle-ground between the two.
Last edited by otterhere; 01-07-2022 at 05:38 AM..
The REASON it is so hard and we so often feel so guilty afterwards is because we are killing - murdering, if you will, since there's intent - our pets who love and trust us. Let's not fool ourselves or mince words. If they're suffering, of course it's a mercy; if they're not (and, again, I don't buy into the idea that every dying pet is suffering), it's not so straightforward. After 40 years and multiple experiences, I find I'm back where I started at 18: wondering if I really have that right...at least in every case.
At any rate, I don't think we should be as "thought-less" and cavalier about it as we as a society have become. At the first sign of infirmity for many pet owners, it's simply a given that it's time for the needle, and on to the next pet who's less trouble. For the first pet's own good, of course!
On the other extreme, I know many pet parents who torture their old sick pets with aggressive testing and treatments and procedures long after they humanely should.
I'm guess I'm saying maybe nature is kinder than we give her credit for and she should play more of a role here. There should be a happy middle-ground between the two.
I'm 65 and have had dogs and cats my entire life. I've been active in the dog community for most of my adult life and 90% of my friends and family are pet owners. I have never come across anyone who acted the way you portrayed pet owners in the bolded segment.
It is always a gut wrenching decision that's made with much soul searching. For many of us (myself included) I have felt guilty that I waited too long to release them and I've suffered like so many of us who love their pets, with self doubt over whether I was selfish by waiting too long. Everyone is different.
The REASON it is so hard and we so often feel so guilty afterwards is because we are killing - murdering, if you will, since there's intent - our pets who love and trust us. Let's not fool ourselves or mince words. If they're suffering, of course it's a mercy; if they're not (and, again, I don't buy into the idea that every dying pet is suffering), it's not so straightforward. After 40 years and multiple experiences, I find I'm back where I started at 18: wondering if I really have that right...at least in every case.
At any rate, I don't think we should be as "thought-less" and cavalier about it as we as a society have become. At the first sign of infirmity (especially incontinence) for many pet owners, it's simply a given that it's time for the needle, and on to the next pet who's less trouble. For the first pet's own good, of course!
On the other extreme, I know many pet parents who torture their old sick pets with aggressive testing and treatments and procedures long after they humanely should.
I'm guess I'm saying maybe nature is kinder than we give her credit for and she should play more of a role here. There should be a happy middle-ground between the two.
Woah there. It seems to me you're making some pretty broad brush assumptions about pet owners who euthanize their pets. Personally, I've never euthanized an animal without a great deal of mental and emotional struggle with the decision, even if the pet was in extremis. Almost all of mine have been old and they were all extremely ill and obviously suffering. I was certainly not "thoughtless and cavalier" about my decisions. I've held every single one in my arms throughout the entire process and death.
I've never pursued aggressive testing, treatments, or procedures, or treatments for an old, sick pet unless the treatment eased pain. The 16.5 year-old cat I have now is warm, well-fed, loved on and comfortable, but I'm not going to go to extreme lengths to prolong her already long life. She's already easily stressed by everything: sounds, strange people, other cats, etc. I keep her in her warm space in the basement and take care of all her needs and give her affection, even at 3 AM. I'm not going "on to the next pet who's less trouble".
I said SOME owners; not all, by any means. I know them personally. People also dump their pets in shelters -- or even on the side of a country road -- once they start having accidents or other medical issues. It's a harsh reality, but the truth...
Sorry! I speak plainly, and not everyone likes that.
Anyone posting on a pet forum is obviously not a careless or unfeeling pet parent.
Last edited by otterhere; 01-07-2022 at 08:51 AM..
I was actually wondering about your cat this week, and Arya Stark's cat, too.
Where can I read about her cat? Misery loves company!
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