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Look at it this way: in the end, family is all that you have. If you don't wanna miss out on your short time with them, don't leave them. It might be the biggest mistake you've ever made, and it might be a huge regret. The older I get, the more I regret leaving my family. I only get to see them once every 2-3 years, and seeing them age is breaking my heart. Another thing to consider is when you live in AZ, it becomes routine. Youll get a job, youll get stuck in traffic, youll deal with scorpions, etc... I FAR preferred vacationing here than living here. It was something to get excited about and something to dream about until the next trip, which made it all the more exciting. Now I see it in my family's faces when they come to visit me, and I remember that excitement. Now I just see living here just as it would be anywhere else, just with tons of sunshine. lol
I definitely have plans to see my family more than once every 2-3 years - and I made sure my BF knew that. He completely agreed with me that if I made this move, we would be sure to set funds aside specifically for back and forth travel knowing I would, especially in the beginning, be wanting to see them as often as I could. I know that If I ever wanted or needed to move back, I could and my family would come visit us as well. I too worry that as they age, it will become more and more difficult to be away from them, but, my parents are still young and I (hopefully) have many years before that becomes an issue and time to figure out what to do when it does...
Regrets are a part of life. Whichever choice you make, you will, at some point in your life, regret it. So fear of regret should not be a deciding factor. Evaluate your situation logically and base your decision on the facts and what your situation is today.
I agree with others who said if you are going to do this, do it before you have children. Sounds like you have a great guy there if he is willing to move back to FL if you don't like it here. You also have a built in support system here, and the possibility (which you should look into) of doing your current job remotely. If all this works out, it looks to me like the risks are low and worth trying. You can rent for a couple years until you know for sure that it will be where you want to stay.
As for your parents, I assume they are getting close to retirement age. You might be able to sell them on some of the 55+ retirement communities out here. I live in one and it is a great place to retire!
Until a split occurs, married or not, and dual income turns to single in a flash, then they're screwed. In AZ she could be in trouble. In FL, she has family in case of an emergency.
In all honesty, I am not worried about this. Regardless of what happens, should I decide to make this move, and God forbid it doesn't work out...my family would back me 100%.. and if I wanted to move back to FL and struggled financially to do so, they would be there in 2.3 seconds to help me do just that.
I just wanted to know how people, who have done something similar, have coped with the stress / anxiety of the sadness felt when they were no longer a short drive from their family.
Regrets are a part of life. Whichever choice you make, you will, at some point in your life, regret it. So fear of regret should not be a deciding factor. Evaluate your situation logically and base your decision on the facts and what your situation is today.
I agree with others who said if you are going to do this, do it before you have children. Sounds like you have a great guy there if he is willing to move back to FL if you don't like it here. You also have a built in support system here, and the possibility (which you should look into) of doing your current job remotely. If all this works out, it looks to me like the risks are low and worth trying. You can rent for a couple years until you know for sure that it will be where you want to stay.
As for your parents, I assume they are getting close to retirement age. You might be able to sell them on some of the 55+ retirement communities out here. I live in one and it is a great place to retire!
I completely agree with you in that if I don't try, I'll never know. I may regret never making the move and always staying here, never knowing if it would have been something I would have loved.
I honestly love it out in AZ both geographically speaking and because it's a much better place to purchase a home expense wise than FL. I failed to mention, we live in South Florida and, as you likely know, it costs an arm and a leg to live here. We debated buying a home here but just to get something half decent in a nice area, we're looking at spending nearly $400K - the amount of house/land you can get for $400K out in AZ is astonishing! I would LOVE for my parents, once they do retire, to consider moving out there. The house they have will soon be too big for them anyway (since all us kids are just about all moved out) and they could easily sell it for one heck of a profit and get a smaller home out in AZ.
We too discussed renting out there initially as well so we could not only decide where we would want to buy a house exactly but also to make sure it's what we truly wanted. He is a wonderful guy who would go to the ends of the world for me..part of why I feel like I should give this a shot for him too. Thank you for your insight!
I definitely have plans to see my family more than once every 2-3 years - and I made sure my BF knew that. He completely agreed with me that if I made this move, we would be sure to set funds aside specifically for back and forth travel knowing I would, especially in the beginning, be wanting to see them as often as I could. I know that If I ever wanted or needed to move back, I could and my family would come visit us as well. I too worry that as they age, it will become more and more difficult to be away from them, but, my parents are still young and I (hopefully) have many years before that becomes an issue and time to figure out what to do when it does...
I visited family every year for years. It's all we ever did - vacation to the tundra. Christmas in the tundra. Drag the kids and the wife (AZ native) to grandmas for a couple weeks. In some ways it's OK because living here in summer is hell and a trip back to the upper midwest was a welcome relief. Every time, I came back I would get off the plane and drive through this scorched, brown wasteland that surrounds the airport and wish we had never come back. I'm the "you" - the one who moved away from family. I'm a guy though and to be honest about it, we just aren't as close to our parents as a rule. My wife and her mother who lives here too spend all sorts of time together. My daughter and her mom are nearly inseparable. Then there are cousins, and nieces and nephews and new babies all the time, weddings, and family birthdays and other gatherings. Maybe that doesn't matter to you, but if those things are important be honest with yourself about how much you will miss them.
You can get cheap airfares from PHX to the S FL airports. Flying to see your parents won't be an issue. Just watch for the sales. Who knows, you get to AZ, your family visits, they may love it too and move. After all, PHX and AZ is less hectic than S FL and no hurricanes or mosquitos.
You can get cheap airfares from PHX to the S FL airports. Flying to see your parents won't be an issue. Just watch for the sales. Who knows, you get to AZ, your family visits, they may love it too and move. After all, PHX and AZ is less hectic than S FL and no hurricanes or mosquitos.
LOL this is very true.... I think last I checked.... FL had 20-something million people compared to like 6-something million in AZ. It's also very different here than when I was a kid...many things have changed and not for the better! My fingers would be crossed that if my family came to visit, they too would love it, and would move there....can't pull all my eggs in that basket but it has crossed my mind!
I'll chime in as I have lived what you're pondering. Married my wife when she was around 30, had two beautiful children shortly thereafter and ended up moving away from family for economic reasons. Moved to the southeast for a few years before taking a job in Arizona. Lived away from her family for about 20 years and while we'd each visit one another every few years there was still a lot we missed. I was fortunate in that my mother and brother moved to Arizona and love it. However, we visited my wife's family in June after seven years and we realized how much we missed them. To see her interact with her family helped me see how important it is to be closer to her mother who is now in her mid 80s. We have lived in Arizona for nearly 20 years, but are now pondering relocating. We also wish our children could have interacted with their cousins, aunts and uncles growing up like we did.
I say try it. It's exciting to try new places and things but as you stated, keep your options open to move back.
Arizona is a nice place and I am sure you would do well. However, everything changes when kids enter the picture. Everything.
I'll chime in as I have lived what you're pondering. Married my wife when she was around 30, had two beautiful children shortly thereafter and ended up moving away from family for economic reasons. Moved to the southeast for a few years before taking a job in Arizona. Lived away from her family for about 20 years and while we'd each visit one another every few years there was still a lot we missed. I was fortunate in that my mother and brother moved to Arizona and love it. However, we visited my wife's family in June after seven years and we realized how much we missed them. To see her interact with her family helped me see how important it is to be closer to her mother who is now in her mid 80s. We have lived in Arizona for nearly 20 years, but are now pondering relocating. We also wish our children could have interacted with their cousins, aunts and uncles growing up like we did.
I say try it. It's exciting to try new places and things but as you stated, keep your options open to move back.
Arizona is a nice place and I am sure you would do well. However, everything changes when kids enter the picture. Everything.
Thank you for your insight! It truly is a tough decision because I see the pros/cons to both sides. It would be nice to get out and try something new, live somewhere different as I have seen so many of my friends do...rather than just stay put in FL and never experience a new place..I feel I may even regret that. I've spoken with friends who have moved and almost all of them thoroughly enjoyed the experience, even though it wasn't necessarily easy for them to take the initial leap. South FL is so expensive... we've kept our eyes open for a couple years now when it comes to buying a house and you really can't get anything decent for less than about $400K...even more if you want a decent hunk of land, which we do!
It's even more difficult for my BF to stomach spending so much on a house when we could get the same or better in AZ for far less money. I also feel, at this time, AZ is a better place to raise children than South FL..for a myriad of reasons. I know every place has their downfalls but we are overpopulated here which makes the housing supply/demand a tough situation. As you said, I do feel some comfort in knowing I could come back if it doesn't work out...and that he would come with me. I love his family dearly and am very close to his sisters so I know it would be an amazing time... it's just so hard to break away from what you're accustomed too especially when change doesn't come easy for me. I'm getting there though....becoming more accepting of the idea the more I talk about it with others and reflect for myself. You only get one chance at this thing called life and I don't want to just be envious of others who have taken a leap I haven't.
Thanks again! Every bit of insight from others helps!
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