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PARIS — Forget what you learned in French class about "madame" and "mademoiselle." The French government now says women's marital status shouldn't matter, at least when it comes to this country's far-reaching bureaucracy.
A new circular from the prime minister's office Tuesday orders officials to phase out the use of "mademoiselle" on administrative documents.
Until now, a woman has been required to identify herself as a married "madame" or an unmarried "mademoiselle" on everything from tax forms to insurance claims and voting cards. France offers no neutral option like the English "Ms"
I don't think it will change in common usage though. I'm in my 50's and married, and I've never been called anything but mademoiselle when I've been in France. I didn't think anything of it when I was younger, but I finally asked someone when it became very obvious that I was not a "miss." I don't know if this is true or not, but it was explained to me that to call an older woman madame is seen by some as a slam on her age, so for cultural reasons many simply use mademoiselle. If we have a native French speaker here, or someone more familiar with the culture than I am, I'd be curious to know if that's true. Regardless, I think titles by marital status are silly.
I once had a job working at a convenience store/gas station. I would always call the male customers 'sir' but didn't know how to address the females. I noticed that when I used Ma'am they didn't seem to react nearly as positively as the males did to 'sir.' Then I started calling them all 'miss,' whether they were 8 or 80. They all loved that. Ma'am of course can work in certain situations, but for general use it is no good. Even the sound of the two words are a contrast. IMO "Ma'am" is harsh sounding while "miss" is soft and pleasant. As for as 'Ms' (pronounced 'MIZZ,' don't even go there.
I had more than one customer tell me how much she appreciated being called miss instead of ma'am. My boss later told me that for a month after I left the job, every regular female customer and their sister was asking where I was, saying they missed (haha) me, etc. And believe me it was not because I am a stud-muffin. It was all because of that simple word 'miss.'
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