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You said Michele Obama's mother CHOSE the one in a million. That's right it was a choice not a random chance. I honestly don't think the odds are that bad. These young women need to be socialized to reject all thugs, even if that means being alone for awhile. If women only choose good men more men would be motivated to be good. Then we would have fathers instead of baby daddies.
The odds are definitely stacked against women of color.
Considering the welfare state demands as a condition of getting support in many cases that the woman actively assist in pursuing child support claims to recoup state costs the opposite is true. The state ain't dumb.
True.
The bio dads are often in prison, repeat offenders or untracable.
My step son filed for divorce a few years ago and did a 180 when he figured out she'd get 70% of his paycheck. It's cheaper to keep her.
I have never heard of anyone being expected to pay 70% of their take home pay in child support.
I am sure it happens but it's not common stuff at lower and middle incomes. Of course the number of children matter, too. 40-50% seems to be the normal range assuming 2-3 minor children.
Alimony is increasing rare and/or limited in duration in all but the very wealthy.
Courts often require the family home to be sold.
Most SAHM have to go back to work after their divorce, to make ends meet.
I'm glad my kids are grown and as a single man this is not a dilema for me... There are still good women out there and I have found one... My advice is to take your time before ever entering into even so much as a cohabitational situation. Be very sure before you do... Don't enter into any situation with a "needy" woman. The same advice would apply to women...
This is basically my motto as well. My kids are grown but one is still at home (college) so I don't even want to think about coupling up with anyone yet. Too many complications. Later on perhaps, but I'm done being everyones mom and I can't deal with "needy" anymore. I'd like a LTR without marriage, unless there the benifits that really tip the scale for the aging crowd. I'm hoping by then me and my future parter, whoever he may be, will just finish out life together...for better or worse. Or not, I'm ok on my own.
Just remember, in many states the step parents may be required to help support these kids or ex-spouses too. This is the case in Illinois in many instances where the new spouse might have to support the kids or the ex. This is why you should avoid parents unless you don't mind supporting the other family.
My step son filed for divorce a few years ago and did a 180 when he figured out she'd get 70% of his paycheck. It's cheaper to keep her.
This is just sad. I will never understand why the courts favor women who don't work to support their own kids. I know more than one man who supported his wife's DECISION to stay home with the kids only to be ordered to pay alimony to her when they divorced BECAUSE she was a stay at home mom. When dh and I split up, I was hard pressed to get anything because I outearned him. It was all I could do to keep from losing some of my income to him and I had the kids. If I had been a SAHM, he would have been fighting to keep his income and he would have lost. Why does my decision to work or not work change how a divorce is handled?
I dated a man once who had an exwife who refused to work. He was paying the mortgage on their house, child support and alimony while he lived in a basement apartment of a relative. He made good money but ended up spending most of it on the ex wife and family. His ex was lazy and wouldn't cook and would spend the day shopping and working out. Meanwhile when I went out with him either I paid or we went to bargain movies and fast food restaurants. Luckily it was a very casual thing (really more of a friendship)but the woman he eventually married made a lot and ended up supporting his other family until she left him.
pre-nup... if they don't sign it.. don't marry em... marriage is good for kids and families, and can be a supportive structure in society ..but when things turn sour it can be ugly and ruin people's lives.. marriage is a contract.. make sure the terms are something you can live with.. if not.. don't do it.. being in love clouds people's judgement to the extent that even a lawyer gets screwed by it. this is the world we live in.. there are nasty greedy people out to screw anyone over even people they love or once loved... just remember.. marriage=contract....
Where is all the Pro-Marriage posters? I'm suprised they haven't come in here and rip the OP to shred for this topic.
All the more reason why people should not have children. Stop procreating then you won't have to pay child support in the future.
I am still generally pro-marriage. You say this is all the more reason people should not have children. Still more than likely they will have children and I would rather they be raised in a two parent family than anything. It's best for the children and society as a whole.
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