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I you don't want kids, wear a condom. If a man uses condoms consistently and correctly, his chances of impregnating someone by accident are vanishly small. And condoms are so easy to get, too. You don't even have to see a doctor, which isn't true of female birth control methods. I mean, how much easier do we have to make it for you? Don't fail to take basic responsibility then whine about the consequences.
Another way for men to not pay child support is not get into a relationship with a single mother. Leave those types alone!
By the way, single motherhood produces emasculated males. They're already represented in the government, courts, and law enforcement.
After a certain age most of the available women will be single mothers. There really isn't much of a choice. I don't think it's right for men to have to support children that aren't their own.
As for single mothers producing emasculated males, that was pretty much true in my case. I was raised by a domineering divorced mom. Most single moms produce one of the two extremes, a niceguy wimp like myself or the extreme opposite..a criminal badass.
I should add as the years have gone by I have been able to overcome much of my somewhat dysfunctional childhood. I'm no manly man but no longer all that wimpy, especially on the inside.
Well, this is one aspect of the situation. Part of my job is filing appeals in child support cases. Let me tell you about some of the other aspects.
Did you know that nationwide, almost 60% of men who owe child support don't pay? And that's just the ones with standing court orders. There are many, many more cases where women just don't file for support, hoping that by not doing so, the man will treat her and the children better. It rarely works. In most cases, the man just ends up walking away and sticking the mothers--or taxpayers--with the bills. Far more women then men are driven to destitution in cases like this. I am not unsympathetic to this man's predicament. But there is a larger reality this video ignores.
The situation also works the OTHER way.
My wife of 7 years left us in 1992, and we divorced in 1993. I got the children, cats and house, (listed in order of priority).
Her child support payment was 250$ a month per child, and it remained that till each the end of the school year each child reached the age of 18. While she hasn't had to pay child support in years, her arrears are still over $5500.00
At one point, I had to turn over child support collection to DCSE, ( Department of Child Support Enforcement). She was MONTHS behind, and because I was demanding she pay her share, I was a "Mean Daddy". I got tired of my children being told I was being mean to her. She moved away, didn't visit the kids, had no part in their lives, yet I was the bad person? When she lived nearby, I encouraged as much visitation as possible, you know what I was told.. She had a life to live, so couldn't be bothered to visit as often as possible.
The time I took her to court, before turning over to DCSE, the court appointed attorney came over to her, while we were seated awaiting our turn on the courtroom, and suggested she get the amount revisited, if she was unable to afford 500$ a month. I looked at him, and suggested he get all his facts straight, before making that suggestion. He was a bit shocked, but after I showed him, the amount in child care I was spending, the amount in medical bills, the amount in insurance, and then I suggested, if she was working part time at minimum wage, she would still pay MORE money than she was paying by Virginia Child Support standards. He looked over my figures, agreed, and the end result was the judge told her to start paying, or go to jail.
Sorry, deadbeat parents come in BOTH sexes.
Both of my children are grown, no drugs, not jailbirds, one has already graduated college Suma *** Laude.
I am still generally pro-marriage. You say this is all the more reason people should not have children. Still more than likely they will have children and I would rather they be raised in a two parent family than anything. It's best for the children and society as a whole.
Yep. What is the best for kids is being raised by two married parents. This whole idea that men aren't needed and neither is marriage is a load of bs and it annoys me to no end. Yet then people expect everyone else to pick up the slack, whether it's taxpayers or a new spouse. I realize divorce is unavoidable but in most cases it's just a situation where one person refuses to deal with their responsibilities and stay married.
According to what I have seen in the real world, women get bored with their lives and think they could do better if the father of their children were out of the picture.
Several of my uncles, all good hard working family men and wonderful fathers to children they adored, were kicked to the curb by women who didn't feel fulfilled.
I think this post exposes a deeper reality about marriage today than just about any other. Too many women feel, and society is led via the media (tv, movies, etc) that marriage is about you being fulfilled and you having the warm fuzzies, and if you don't then just end your marriage and go find fulfillment and warm fuzzies. The reality is that marriage was never about that. It was always about having a dependable life partner and raising children.
I have seen example after example of what you spoke about. I have seen men be comfortable in their families and content to live the basic life of provider and husband and dad. Fulfilling their role is contentment. But they have a wife whose emotions dictate everything, and if the wife doesn't feel "right enough" for long enough, society tells her get a divorce because it's all about her happiness and so if she isn't then she needs to change things. I also cannot tell you how many SUCCESSFULLY married men for very long periods of time (over 25 years) have said "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." And at the same time, it takes very little to GET today's women unhappy. Take the trash out tomorrow instead of today like she said, she gets unhappy, never mind it got done anyway. Little stuff like that adds up, and American women seem to think they should run the marriage, call the shots, and that the husband is responsible for making sure her emotions feel happy. Too few women draw happiness from their role in the family and from simply having a responsible and dependable life partner.
Now there are plenty of men and women who are irresponsible and undependable or who are cheats or drunk or addicts or a users, etc. It makes sense that those marriages are more likely to fail. But even the ones where there was no extreme drama like that are failing, and again lots of times it is because today's women view marriage as whether their emotional wants are met, ie how often they get what the want and how little their husband p's them off, and this ME society makes them easily p'sed off when they don't get their way.
So when these women don't get what they want for long enough they become bitter and want to make the man pay for not letting them get their way enough or not catering to their wants enough, and now they want money and freedom to go get what society tells them they deserve just because they are alive and are Americans. So they stick it to the guy in court.
American society is decidedly anti-marriage because it lies to people about what marriage is and women especially eat the lie up. Then when they really find out, society says no problem just get divorced and you can still go get everything you want. Everything is about you you you and you being happy forever after, not about fulfilling a role with a responsible life partner and being there for them to help them through life's adversities.
The most popular movies for women are where a woman is committed to one man but some charmer comes along and brings romance and so she lets go and runs to find happiness. It's so popular because it fosters the idea that life is about your happiness, not about your commitments to something bigger than yourself. And your high maintenance standards of what make you emotionally happy are ok and people including your husband should just live up to your expectations even if those expectations start off reasonable and then grow to high maintenance levels.
I would never allow myself to be put in that position, and I have made a point to warn my young nephews about the very real dangers of being male and parenting a child in a nation that hates men and believes government programs are a substitute for a father's love.
The nation, the courts, and the government really do hate men.
What if "don't want" is temporary (e.g. financially not prepared) and you'd like something reversible?
Condoms..........but make sure to FLUSH them down the toilet.
I remember a news story about pro basketball players getting scammed by women who would impregnate themselves by retrieving used condoms.....and then using a turkey baster to hit the JACKPOT.
Having a welfare state available influences the sexual selection of women, especially those in lower socioeconomic groups. If a young woman has a choice between a nice stable guy with a decent job or a "bad boy' who is unemployed/underemployed but is sexy to her, is covered in tattoos etc she will choose the sexy bad boy just knowing she can go on welfare if and when he leaves her. She will not only reject the guy who would have made the good husband/father she may have utter disdain towards him "he's not a real man" etc.
What a load.
From your posts, it seems as if you fail in the relationship area of your life.
Attitude plays a big part in relationships.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay F
Other than the court ordered check couldn't they still cut ties? My dad paid child support each month yet him and my mom had little or no contact with each other.
Anecdote =/= data.
Your experience doesn't equal everyone's experience.
For that I am thankful.
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