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It takes two to produce a baby. The mother needs to bear some of the responsibility and financial burden. Putting it all on the father is unfair.
And some mothers, like some fathers, are wholly irresponsible. The problem with this kind of debate is that it is always about the father. Dead beat mothers seem to get a free pass.
It definitely takes 2. If you're going to tango, and do not want to have children then it is up to one or both partners to exercise precaution and use protection. We had an old saying back in the day..."no glove... no love!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nscorpiored
Keep in mind there are laws in place that will allow women or men to file charges against the father or mother of their child who is behind on child support and place them in the prison system. This is still known and men and women refuse to use protection and stop fathering and having children they cannot support without the help of taxpayers when times get hard
To me, it's common sense really. If you don't want children before you're ready, and you're gonna fool around, at least take the necessary measures to avoid having children until you're ready. I knew this going into high school for cryin' out loud! I realize that no birth control is 100% full proof, but what is the other option? Don't have sex? Yes, sure that is the best solution, but we have natural urges, and therefore that is not always reality.
Absolutely not and you can be born to a married couple and still end up creating that cycle. It is all about the persona and their personal choices. Your taxes pay only 1% for welfare, the rest is spent on the military, funding wars, funding politicians who will have lifetime salaries and health benefits while others struggle, etc. Having a child out of wedlock that you don't support doesn't mean the child and the parent will end up on welfare. I know more single mothers (and some single fathers) who do very well taking care of their child/children without government assistance because it can be done
How would you go about determining who is on welfare as a direct correlation of being a single parent?
How would determine if the father is a deadbeat simply because he walked away from his child and won't support them and not because he really cannot due to disability or having a hard time garnering resources through employment because finding work is hard in some states?
There are so many scenarios here
But what are the social costs? Do you live in a neighborhood that is mostly single mothers and section 8 housing? I would LOVE to live close to where I work. It's a beautiful old neighborhood. My building is almost 100 years old built in a time when people walked to work. I could live there, buy a house really cheap but I would have to have a 7' fence with razor wire on top to have any peace. And as much as I hate guns I would probably have to have a tripod mounted 50 cal to deter the locals. 99% raised on the welfare system by single moms.
Let's live in the real world. The baby should be with the mother. She can't hardly be in jail and be a mother to that child. But I agree that she should have to work in some kind of a job if she has to ask for assistance.
The real world? And your wanting to jail fathers for not being able to pay 30-40% of their potential pay, whether they are actually earning a check or not, while the mother refuses to work, draws FS, section 8 housing, government medical, free cell phone, and often lives with another potential baby daddy.
I know this isnt always the case, but usually for those mothers who are receiving benefits it is. How is the father supposed to keep up any support while incarcerated? Wont that just make the situation worse? Im not saying men should not pay childsupport but why not hold the mother to the same standard?
The "real world" is a world this backward system has created. Why is a mother all omnipotent to that child and the father inconsequential? One of the problems is the lack of father in the family. The real world once was that having children out of wedlock, for a woman, was frowned upon. She was squirrled away in some home and most often the child put up for adoption and the father got a free pass. Not saying this was good, but now she is celebrated and showered with gov. funds while the fathers income (or imaginary income) is levied, visitation restricted or often denied and he is constantly threatened with jail if at any time he cant comply.
Seems the pendulim has swung the other way. Its time we find a middle ground.
I didn't see a single post. Not a single one... not even the ones that acknowledged women's culpability in matters of conception... not one poster realizes that a relationship can end in any other way except that the POS serial rapist of a deadbeat "abandoned" his family... ...
There are four adult children in my life - who I love and who love me were all fathered "out of wedlock"...Those who disrespected me and my family were formally married...nearly all of them are divorced today. I spent 27 years with the mother of my children...30 years later I still have a close and affectionate relationship with the mother. I did BETTER than 90% of those who got "married"....There are people who would have loved to see me in jail when my family was young...out of spite and envy...I was successful in fatherhood - More pressure on fathers will make those fathers more distant and make even more run for the hills to hide. To suggest jailing fathers who do not step into a civil or religious marriage is absurd...and anti-family...Mind your own business.
But what are the social costs? Do you live in a neighborhood that is mostly single mothers and section 8 housing? I would LOVE to live close to where I work. It's a beautiful old neighborhood. My building is almost 100 years old built in a time when people walked to work. I could live there, buy a house really cheap but I would have to have a 7' fence with razor wire on top to have any peace. And as much as I hate guns I would probably have to have a tripod mounted 50 cal to deter the locals. 99% raised on the welfare system by single moms.
The social costs I couldn't answer because everyone has their own story and the reality is what we look down on or taught will lead to social downfall can come from any walk of life. For the record, I grew up in the suburbs around $500,00 to $1,000,000 homes and the WIC office wasn't that far, it is not uncommon for women and men to pull up to the offices in Mercedes, Nissan Altimas, BMWs and take advantage of the government assistance. They just hide their real income and portray themselves as struggling mothers instead of paying out of pocket and stop wasting taxpayers money. You sound as if you are generalizing a whole population of people based on your personal experience but not actual facts.
Because we have different views we will have to disagree and keep it moving. For the record, it wasn't that long ago that one of those wholesome, two parent households that you are alluding to in a neighborhood near me was raided for welfare fraud upwards $1,000,000
Social and cultural ills have an affect on everybody
There are four adult children in my life - who I love and who love me were all fathered "out of wedlock"...Those who disrespected me and my family were formally married...nearly all of them are divorced today. I spent 27 years with the mother of my children...30 years later I still have a close and affectionate relationship with the mother. I did BETTER than 90% of those who got "married"....There are people who would have loved to see me in jail when my family was young...out of spite and envy...I was successful in fatherhood - More pressure on fathers will make those fathers more distant and make even more run for the hills to hide. To suggest jailing fathers who do not step into a civil or religious marriage is absurd...and anti-family...Mind your own business.
Thank you for this and this is what I am getting at. You can be married and have a dysfunctional household or end up in divorce court and end up just like those who were never married.
By the way I was just curious did you or did she not want to get married?
I am happy to read that you were able to maintain such a long and lasting relationship with the mother of your children
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While we are at it make poking holes in a condom or tossing BC pills down the toilet a felony too.
