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I understand the owner/manager walking around and asking every single table if everything is ok but it feels forced and awkward 90% of the time. Maybe a manager should just greet as you come in or as you leave?
I used to work as a Front of House manager for a family owned restaurant a few years ago. The owners HATED talking to the guests unless they really needed to and didn't really want to talk to them. Except, the owner's mom didn't get the memo. She literally would go to EVERY. SINGLE. TABLE and ask the people about their meal, to tell their friends, etc to the point she and her son ended up fighting about it in the kitchen in front of all the employees.
She's a very sweet old Greek lady, but it was just too much. Unfortunately, every time we go out to eat the managers act very much like her.
HOW, please explain? To get what you want for *YOUR* hard earned money is somehow a problem? Why do you want things to go wrong or people to control you when they get things wrong because they assumed wrong, huh?
HOW? To not get something that the customer didn't order for the person that is ************PAYING*********** THE TIP, HOW IS THAT NUTS?
So why should a stranger get to place part of my order for me that ******I********* am paying for the time there called a tip?
Why do you want control? If they want to bring me what "THEY" want, **************THEY NEED TO PAY ME A TIP********!
Don't you want what *YOU* want for *YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY*, DOESN'T EVERYONE? SO DO I!
Why should I have my time wasted and another item on the table I don't want that wasn't there in my service? Why should you assume because majority loves ketchup that everyone will when you are giving ***********INDIVIDUALIZED SERVICE*********** for that ***************INDIVIDUAL TIP********, huh?
Why is it so horrible for you to ******************ORDER KETCHUP IF YOU WANT IT, HUH? WOW ORDERING WHAT A CONCEPT! Just as Ohiogirl81 said:
Seriously, it's nuts that I should have to assume that my server will assume. Some servers don't bring ketchup. Not every server makes decisions that's not theirs to make. WHY do you feel that's their decision when they aren't paying the tip, huh? I'd like to know that?
If you want it, *********YOU ORDER IT************ just as I do when I want something. I don't assume my server will just bring something.
If it's not listed on the menu, then you shouldn't expect something not listed. It's not on the menu, it shouldn't be served. It wasn't ordered, why should it be served? You didn't get the person that's paying your tip's permission.
You repeat that you are "paying them". To be clear, you are NOT paying them, their employer is. You are tipping them, which is your choice. But to say that you PAY them is incorrect. You are also not their boss, their slave owner, or their parent. You act as if you own the waiter from the moment you arrive until the moment you leave. You do not. You are also free to dine elsewhere.
I notice you say you make a lot of modifications to your meal. Since you are shrieking that you should be treated a certain way, because it's your money, do you also agree that you should be charged for the "time" it takes for you to state your preferences, and modify your order? I bet you don't....
Nothing major, but for some of us older folks, I would like to see a larger font used on the menus. Other than that, based on service and food quality, I know which establishments work for me and my family.
When I have an hour to read and comment on all of that, I might. Probably not though. A few things I will say...
Ranch dressing is not a side dish. It is a condiment.
Much of what is served as condiments in small containers often goes in the trash, so the servings are smaller to avoid the waste.
The minute or two spent socializing in any way over the course of a meal is fine by me. If I'm in such a rush to consume I wouldn't be at a restaurant.
Many of those concerns do not apply to certain levels of restaurants. I've never had a fresh glass with every refill at a diner or meat-and-two restaurant, and don't expect it, for instance.
How can someone have 40 pet peeves about one topic?
I think that many people would have a problem if servers acted in the opposite manner from what OP is complaining about, and those servers would have no idea they were doing something wrong in either case.
Finally, I wonder if OP's attitude is causing some of his/her peeves to become reality.
I think you need to wait tables for a week or stop going to restaurants.
No kidding..wow. I expected a list of maybe 3 or 4 things but yowsa! If I had that many pet peeves, I think I'd stop eating out. Its no longer a list of pet peeves at 30+, its a fixation. BTW, #19 or so, how is it a problem if they don't write it down but get it right?
No, I have a husband and been married since 2002. I am very happy in my marriage. I am not a troll. I am a very sensitive person. I also grew up with a lot of family members that wanted control over things such as once I stayed over during a summer when I was 12yrs old(I am 36yrs old, going to be 37yrs old soon), where at that age, my grandparents told me what I could or could not wear, told me how to wear my hair, etc. My dad wouldn't allow me to do things because of being overprotective like at 16yrs old couldn't go to an Aerosmith concert because "I might get trampled on". Yes I wasn't 18yrs old yet, but still, the boyfriend I had at the time could go, I couldn't. We were a couple of months apart the same age even. So anyway, you can see how my life has been controlled. I have had many other situations with control So when control comes up, it's a huge thing like "I am old enough to be able to make my OWN decisions" so that's why I have this thing with control most likely. I want to be able to be myself, to make my own decisions. Sure now my dad can't tell me what to do or my grandma(My grandfather died), but anyway, that's probably where it stems from that control that "You can't do this, you can't do that" so I didn't do a lot of things that most people did like never been on an airplane, never went to disneyworld or disneyland, etc. I have been of course to fairs, but not to disney places. I spent a good chunk of my childhood not being able to do things that others could experience life. Sure maybe who knows I could have been protected like maybe I would be missing limbs if my dad would have let me go near fireworks for example, but at the same time, I didn't get a chance to experience life. Now that I am, I don't like control. That's probably where it stems from that not wanting people to control my tip money. Also, it is aggravating that if I wanted something else to drink and then they got me a refill of the same drink, it makes you feel obligated to take it or if you tell them no, it pisses them off which it shouldn't, because they should have asked and they wasted your time they could have been at your table getting what you did want instead of fixing an item for nothing. Even if I ended up wanting the refill, I get pisses that they took control. That they made a decision that wasn't theirs to make. That took away my decision that *I* am *PAYING* for without asking me if it was OK to do so.
Now you understand my stance more?
You are like the abused child who grows up to abuse other people. Therapy would help with this control issue you have and you would be a lot happier.
Framing service you get in a restaurant whether its good/bad/indifferent as a control issue is not a healthy approach imo.
You are like the abused child who grows up to abuse other people. Therapy would help with this control issue you have and you would be a lot happier.
Framing service you get in a restaurant whether its good/bad/indifferent as a control issue is not a healthy approach imo.
I agree, and having read thru the OPs above biography she shared,I would say there are far more issues going on then the storms in her head caused by waiters.
Wish you peace OP. I think those waiters might be merely your scapegoat for other issues.
I was raised by very strict Irish Catholics,never went to the Disneys till I had my own kids, and if parents weren't controlling enough, I had those NUNS,
Yet, I am kind and understandings to waiters and their occasionalL mistakes.
Life works so much better with a bit of human empathy,,,try it.
You are indeed " sweating the small stuff"
Speak with your dollars by letting the business know if there is a REAL problem and if they don't agree, go elsewhere. If it turns out that one has issues everywhere they go, it is probably not a problem with the restaurants. Need I explain?
No, I have a husband and been married since 2002. I am very happy in my marriage. I am not a troll. I am a very sensitive person. I also grew up with a lot of family members that wanted control over things such as once I stayed over during a summer when I was 12yrs old(I am 36yrs old, going to be 37yrs old soon), where at that age, my grandparents told me what I could or could not wear, told me how to wear my hair, etc. My dad wouldn't allow me to do things because of being overprotective like at 16yrs old couldn't go to an Aerosmith concert because "I might get trampled on". Yes I wasn't 18yrs old yet, but still, the boyfriend I had at the time could go, I couldn't. We were a couple of months apart the same age even. So anyway, you can see how my life has been controlled. I have had many other situations with control So when control comes up, it's a huge thing like "I am old enough to be able to make my OWN decisions" so that's why I have this thing with control most likely. I want to be able to be myself, to make my own decisions. Sure now my dad can't tell me what to do or my grandma(My grandfather died), but anyway, that's probably where it stems from that control that "You can't do this, you can't do that" so I didn't do a lot of things that most people did like never been on an airplane, never went to disneyworld or disneyland, etc. I have been of course to fairs, but not to disney places. I spent a good chunk of my childhood not being able to do things that others could experience life. Sure maybe who knows I could have been protected like maybe I would be missing limbs if my dad would have let me go near fireworks for example, but at the same time, I didn't get a chance to experience life. Now that I am, I don't like control. That's probably where it stems from that not wanting people to control my tip money. Also, it is aggravating that if I wanted something else to drink and then they got me a refill of the same drink, it makes you feel obligated to take it or if you tell them no, it pisses them off which it shouldn't, because they should have asked and they wasted your time they could have been at your table getting what you did want instead of fixing an item for nothing. Even if I ended up wanting the refill, I get pisses that they took control. That they made a decision that wasn't theirs to make. That took away my decision that *I* am *PAYING* for without asking me if it was OK to do so.
Now you understand my stance more?
Wow. Simply wow.
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