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Michaela is unconventionally attractive by Western standards--it takes having a taste for African features--which comes out quite nice in some photographs, but not so in some others, particularly when her intent is to satirize Western concepts.
She is a sex website vixen/immigrant freedom fighter in "Aliens" and a sexually repressed woman in the starring role of "Chewing Gum" (which she created and writes). Clearly, she is portrayed as she wants to be in both productions.
I think she challenges--intentionally--Western ideas of feminine beauty and sexuality: "I reject your concepts of femininity and inject my own" kind of thing.
Last edited by Ralph_Kirk; 06-25-2017 at 02:56 PM..
I remember one summer day when I was a teenager in the 60s, probably the summer of my 17th year, several of my friends and I were talking about various things and happened upon the subject of going too far with a girl and getting her pregnant.
The central fact of agreement was that if that happened, we'd have to marry the girl. That was totally indisputable. The idea that we might not have to marry the girl didn't even come up in the discussion. We knew that would be the requirement of our parents, her parents, and the entire community. That was just the fact.
The primary result of that thrust was that we solemnly resolved to keep careful track of all our sperm (I'll mention, too, that young women could not get birth control and even getting a condom required making a bus trip to the state capital--because the condoms were behind the pharmacist's counter and could only be purchased by adults).
Exactly how did that change to marriage being not only optional but in fact undesirable...and that attitude embraced by women?
Michaela is unconventionally attractive by Western standards--it takes having a taste for African features--which comes out quite nice in some photographs, but not so in some others, particularly when her intent is to satirize Western concepts.
She is a sex website vixen/immigrant freedom fighter in "Aliens" and a sexually repressed woman in the starring role of "Chewing Gum" (which she created and writes). Clearly, she is portrayed as she wants to be in both productions.
I think she challenges--intentionally--Western ideas of feminine beauty and sexuality: "I reject your concepts of femininity and inject my own" kind of thing.
Femininity IMO is three-fold: looks/physical features, adornment/attire and demeanor/behavior. She is a physically beautiful woman but she can not challenge anthropology and biology.
I agree with this. There are expectations for men and the majority of "black" men fail to meet them. I have always said that, generally speaking, where men have themselves together, the women and children will follow. The reason is because men were designed to be leaders of the home.
So when they point fingers at the opposite sex, the other fingers point back at them. They fail to realize it is really a reflection on them. My thought is, you are a MAN. Get it together. Personally, I grew up with an excellent father, who is also an amazing husband. So in my mind, there are standards for men, for what truly makes a man.
Btw, I am not including Africans in this, but rather generational Westernized "black" people, especially in the U.S.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineDeCoeur
Relations doesn't mean relationship. It takes 2 people to make a child. You want to blame the women alone when she alone cannot reproduce. These men with deposit their seed anywhere and then other men encourage it. In the end, they - like you - all blame the women only and it is the innocent children that suffer. The cycle then continues.
Again, then you wonder why parents of other backgrounds don't want their daughters dating black boys/men. Funny, when black women have children with other groups, they are usually married. Women by nature respect and submit to man who understands his role and strives to do better daily.
Just wanted to note that ITA with the blue as a black woman. Oftentimes we are labeled as not "needing a man" but practically all of us will admit to either wanting or needing a man. Also we are often characterized as having attitudes and not wanting to "let a man lead" but in my experience, when a man is a leader, his woman will follow him. I always tell men who complain about the above - that the woman won't let him lead, that that is more than likely due to the fact that he is not a good leader and is irresponsible in some way, which means his woman has had to step up and do whatever it was that he didn't do and she has lost respect for him as a result. Women seeking a long term relationship with a man, usually want them to lead in some specific way. When they don't, she notices and she will step up to do it, and if she does that, she will lose respect for him as a man.
I mentioned mentorship earlier and I do feel it is applicable to our current society as a demographic and can make a huge difference, especially within the family. My own dad has basically adopted 5 other other kids that he just has a relationship with and they consider him a father figure, he helps them out, gives advice, speaks to them regularly (when they were younger everyday). It does make a difference.
But I do think that black men need to make a concerted effort to become better leaders and especially better leaders of their families. Too many IMO have the belief that just because they are a man that they are a "leader" or that a woman is supposed to submit to them. Having a male appendage does not make someone a leader or worthy of a woman's respect.
On the black above, wanted to note that I know of many Africans who immigrated to America who left their families in Africa and don't have any hand in raising their children. Also many African women who moved to America and who are single mothers, also West Indian single mothers so I don't think this is an issue only for black men in America.
But again, all men/women have issues with each other. The issues that black men have can only be solved by themselves and black woman are not to blame for your issues. Be better sons, fathers, uncles, grandfathers, big cousins, etc., to the young boys/young men in your family and create better men for our community. It is not a woman's responsibility to make a man into a man and she cannot make a man into a man. It takes a man to do that and if he is not there then in most cases that is his fault. Also a male family member of the mother of the child can take over a father type role in absence of a father in the child's life.
Just wanted to note that ITA with the blue as a black woman. Oftentimes we are labeled as not "needing a man" but practically all of us will admit to either wanting or needing a man. Also we are often characterized as having attitudes and not wanting to "let a man lead" but in my experience, when a man is a leader, his woman will follow him. I always tell men who complain about the above - that the woman won't let him lead, that that is more than likely due to the fact that he is not a good leader and is irresponsible in some way, which means his woman has had to step up and do whatever it was that he didn't do and she has lost respect for him as a result. Women seeking a long term relationship with a man, usually want them to lead in some specific way. When they don't, she notices and she will step up to do it, and if she does that, she will lose respect for him as a man.
This...1000 times....exactly this!!
The asking for "permission" to lead or the pronouncement that a woman will not "let" one lead is an automatic disqualification.
Just wanted to note that ITA with the blue as a black woman. Oftentimes we are labeled as not "needing a man" but practically all of us will admit to either wanting or needing a man. Also we are often characterized as having attitudes and not wanting to "let a man lead" but in my experience, when a man is a leader, his woman will follow him. I always tell men who complain about the above - that the woman won't let him lead, that that is more than likely due to the fact that he is not a good leader and is irresponsible in some way, which means his woman has had to step up and do whatever it was that he didn't do and she has lost respect for him as a result. Women seeking a long term relationship with a man, usually want them to lead in some specific way. When they don't, she notices and she will step up to do it, and if she does that, she will lose respect for him as a man.
You seem to be saying that her nurturing is irrelevant, that she'll meet the right man (a leader) that all she is by her whole past, her experiences and her nurturing, will just fall away...and she'll just naturally become the perfect wife to a perfect man.
My wife would dispute that. She would tell of how she has had to make a deliberate effort over years to subjugate old attitudes and habits that were inculcated into her by dysfunctional parents in order to be receptive to my positive traits.
That's not to say I was perfect, but we both entered our marriage 34 years ago carrying wounds and broken bones.
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