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I've no skin in this game, but I found this statistic interesting.
Among blacks, men are much more likely than women to marry someone of a different race. Fully a quarter of black men who got married in 2013 married someone who was not black. Only 12% of black women married outside of their race.
The overwhelming majority, 75%, of black men marry black women. The argument that black men don't date or like black women doesn't seem valid give this stat.
The crux of the issue is not about who black men date/marry. It's actually about the sexism and misogyny that many black women are subjected to (by black men).
Black women are our mothers aunts, grandmothers, sisters, cousins, daughters, and [in some cases]our friends. That said, often we don't see [many] black men PUBLICALLY advocating for black women's issues they way that they've campaigned for us in the past.
Now let me say, that not every black woman has our best interests out there, that said, I would like to see more unity within the community and a big part of that raising awareness to the black women out there who are also victims of the same shootings that black men are (even if possibly to a lesser degree).
Do you think that there is a lot of self-hatred among black men that's been swept under a rug for too long?
What do you that we as black men can do to better advocate for black women? How can we work to eliminate misogyny?
How do we advocate for OURSELVES without neglecting the hardships of women?
The core to any community is its women. Women carry and bring forth life. Our mothers are our first teachers. It's because of these facts that female sexuality was controlled through elaborate mating rituals such as marriage, the world over.
For many African-Americans today, that has flown out of the window. Mating and reproduction are often chaotic. Many black women don't seek out good long term partners but short flings based often on physical attraction. Physical attraction is not a good basis to build a long term foundation because it fades over time. This mating chaos leads to black women having the highest rates of abortion, highest rates of neglected and abused children, highest rates of multiple fathers for kids, highest STD rates and the list goes on.
Nothing will go right in African-American community until this is turned around at large, nothing. You can't even begin to address the issues you bring up without it. It would be futile.
You've said the exact same thing a good girl friend of mine says and she lives in the Bay Area/SF (born and raised). She said that even her non-Blacks friends and colleagues have pointed it out and asked her why do BM date everything and everybody except a BW? She put the age of Black on Black couples at those age 60+ years and older. Younger than that she said is very rare to see a Black couple and that regardless of how beautiful, educated, soft-spoken, economic status, or small (not overweight/obese) the BW are in that area, they're SINGLE because BM will not date them but openly pursue "other" women for relationships.
According to her "even the broke down, busted BM with nothing to offer have the same mentality as the wealthy, highly educated BM when it comes to dating/mating".
Bay Area isn't a good indicator. There a few upwardly mobile blacks there so one has to expand their dating pool if they hope to get married. If AAs were more of an endogamous group with a strong insular religious tradition, networks and matchmaking services would arise to match people up. However AAs are probably the most mainstream group in America and buy into the cultural nonsense that Hollywood, Madison Ave etc. pushes so that's unlikely.
I would also like to add that it's the weakness of black men in comparison to white and Asian men that causes the issues I cited earlier. The inability of black men to carve out strong, viable communities whether in the USA or in the world is the core issue.
I don't want to imply that this is all black women's fault. I just think until black women make better mating choices the situation won't turn around anytime soon. Stronger men would be created from these unions who would be in a better position to compete and build.
I would say that interracial dating in general is still pretty rare. People (well, most) still date those whom they feel familiar with. White dates white, black dates black, etc.
This said, I understand the point op is trying to make. What can I personally do? well, brag about my future brother-inlaw I guess LOL tell people he is one good man. But clear thinking adults already know that, people who treat everybody as an individual will not judge him because of the color of his skin.
well, People will always speculate and judge my sister's relationship. Such is life and no need to pay attention to such people.
My sis once told me, the previous marriage felt like a combat experience. This time around, screw others' opinion, she just wants to be happy. Well, isn't that the right attitude?
Interracial marriage rates in this country are driven by Hispanic/white unions. It's very debatable that such unions should be classified as such. Black/non-Black unions are a small percentage of interracial unions. The figure I saw was 2% but I could be wrong.
It's important to remember that marriage at its core an economic, social and class signifying endeavor. Women tend to not want to marry below their social or economic status. Since blacks are still perceived as lower caste in America it takes more for black people to marry outside of their race.
I rarely kid on here. Black men whether in the USA or around the globe have failed to build thriving communities that can stand on their own. Thus our women are demeaned.
The core to any community is its women. Women carry and bring forth life. Our mothers are our first teachers. It's because of these facts that female sexuality was controlled through elaborate mating rituals such as marriage, the world over.
For many African-Americans today, that has flown out of the window. Mating and reproduction are often chaotic. Many black women don't seek out good long term partners but short flings based often on physical attraction. Physical attraction is not a good basis to build a long term foundation because it fades over time. This mating chaos leads to black women having the highest rates of abortion, highest rates of neglected and abused children, highest rates of multiple fathers for kids, highest STD rates and the list goes on.
Nothing will go right in African-American community until this is turned around at large, nothing. You can't even begin to address the issues you bring up without it. It would be futile.
It's interesting that black women are blamed, without mentioning the irresponsible nature of a number of black men, which also contributes directly to the multiple fatherless homes, highest std rates, etc.
Also worth noting is the hip-hop/rap cottage industry which greatly influences impressionable black boys and girls into believing that sexual promiscuity is a good thing.
Additionally, you failed to mention that in the U.S. there aren't a plethora of economically stable black men who are interested in settling down with black women and getting married. Based on the stats, I agree with the below video featuring Professor Ralph Richard Banks. He states that many of the pathologies among black families (i.e. high incarceration rates, drop out rates,etc) are ultimately a consequence of economic factors, not the "loose morals" of black women.
Any community which places the onus 100% on the women, without holding the men accountable as well, is ultimately doomed to fail.
Stanford Professor and author, Ralph Richard Banks in an interview with Nightline, claimed sixty years ago black marriages and families were ‘as stable as white families’ and that the decline comes as ‘black women have moved ahead, black men have fallen behind’.
Terming the phenomena as a ‘social catastrophe’ for black men, he added: ‘Imprisonment numbers, unemployment numbers, under-performance academically, these are crisis not just for African-Americans, but for the nation.
‘Many women would do well to expand their options in the same way people of other races have, and look beyond black men in their search for a partner.
‘Black women are the most segregated group in our society when it comes to relationships.’
Location: Born & Raised DC > Carolinas > Seattle > Denver
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What is it with several people in this thread talking about how black men don't respect black women???
I've commented several times on this, but the people I quoted who were talking about sexism in the black community haven't responded to me....
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