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Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty-eight.
* Seven to canvass the neighborhood for donation of a new bulb,
* Five to form a committee to evaluate light bulbs and determine what bulb should be used,
* Four to lobby in Congress for funds to train a minority to learn how to change the bulb,
* Six to sit on a panel to evaluate the training school for proper adherence to Federal standards for "wokeness" and qualifications for teaching,
* And five to alert the media.
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Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three.
* One to call the electrician,
* One to call the accountant for the tax write-off,
* And one to mix the drinks.
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Q: How many Libertarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one. He invents the perfect light bulb, one that he judges will always work for all, will be acceptable to all races, colors, creeds, ages, sexes, and nationalities.
Then he holds the bulb in the socket, and waits for the world to revolve around him.
I heard this one at work the other week. Not necessarily about a political party, but it's a political joke.
After the death of RBG, Hillary Clinton stormed into the Oval Office, demanding that she be RBG's replacement. President Trump shrugged and said, "Well, if it's okay with the funeral home, it's okay with me."
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man on the ground below. She shouted to him:
"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Democrat."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are -- or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."
I saw a funny photo on facebook with Obama and Biden face to face and the caption was "I endorse you Joe" "Thank you Denzel".
Another good one was a "Back to the Future" photo with Doc climbing out of the Delorean saying "I just got back from 2050 and Baron Trump has finally announced the end of the Mueller investigation".
Three boys are out on the river in a raft. Ahead of them, they see a man floundering in the process of trying not to drown. They row toward him, pull him aboard their raft, and note to their surprise that it's Barack Obama. They reach shore, and Obama tells them he had wanted to go in swimming without the Secret Service, and had swum out too far. He gratefully asks them what he can do to repay them. The first one says, "I want to go to West Point". "Done!" The second one says, "I want to go to Annapolis Naval Academy". "Done!" The third one says, "I want a military funeral." Obama, puzzled, asks, "Why, son? You're young and healthy. Why would you want a funeral?" The boys replies, "When my father finds out I saved you from drowning, he's going to KILL me!!!"
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