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I wasn't sure where to put this thread, so I'll start it here. I am hoping to get the input of experiences and maybe some safety tips from others.
I live in a relatively rural small town here in the South where, until recently, I have not been too concerned with the safety factor in the parking lots in our area during broad daylight hours.
We have the standard chains here, Walmart, Food Lion, Dollar Generals, fast food, etc.
However, after yesterday, I am a bit shaken and wondering whether I need to use more caution when running my Saturday errands. I work 9-5 all week and usually just go home after work. In my sixties now, I don't like to be out at night anyway, so I save my errand running and shopping for Saturdays in the daytime.
At two different locations yesterday, I was approached by sketchy looking men while in the parking lot. One approached me after I had just finished loading my groceries and asked me whether I was finished with my cart. There were numerous other empty carts all around, so at first I thought maybe he worked there and was retreiving them. I quickly realized by his desheveled and dirty appearance that he did not work there. He continued talking to me in slurred gibberish and asking odd questions at which point I just ignored him, got into my car quickly, locked the door and left him standing there.
A while later, I pulled into a parking lot to call my elderly mother to see if she needed anything while I was out. While fishing through my purse for my phone, I was startled by a knock on my windshield and turned to find yet another sketchy looking man rapping on my window. I have no idea what he wanted, probably money or a ride, but again, I just started up my car, pulled off quickly and left him standing there.
I hate to think I will have to just go to online ordering for everything. I enjoy my outings on the weekend after being cooped up at a desk job all week. Or maybe I should take some self-defense classes, or get a concealed carry license? I know these people may or may not be criminally minded, but no one has a right to intrude uninvited on other people's personal space.
Has anyone else noticed an increase in this? Is it increased homelessness or vagrancy, or are they just getting bolder? Are you concerned for your safety these days just running your mundane errands, and should I be?
Addicts and/or street beggars will frequently talk you up to feel you out for a possible 'donation'. Worked in drug infested neighborhood sometimes at the same job sites for days on end. The local addicts etc will ask you for money once they think they can approach you. Had one ask for 'any spare change' and gave him some-he hit the roof-screamed 'nickels, quarters...!?!?' Learned the hard way but fast early on one week giving away $15 dollars in change in less than a month.
Grifters, addicts and thugs will always checkout their prey first then move in. Amateurs and teens are frequently the most dangerous because they don't have the art of begging or robbing down or don't care.
First look around for other customers in the parking lots, walking to or from the store. Then look around and listen for voices.
Hasn't happened to me in over a year, but just last week I was putting my two bags in the back seat and heard speaking close to the aisle. Next thing I knew, without even looking, I heard "hey, nice looking lady......" That's as far as I let it get, I shot my arm out with palm facing him/them and said angrily, because I was angry, "STEP BACK, STEP AWAY".
I think it shocked the heck out of him or them, I still didn't see them, just heard "OK, OK" and he/they left. I got in my car and saw them (2) for the first time, in the next aisle over ahead of me, they had approached somebody else. I don't know what they wanted, but I am NOT putting up with this, being accosted while minding my own business.
They WILL back off if you are AGGRESSIVE in your attitude. They prey on those who are so polite, that don't want to "hurt anyone's feelings", that feel "bad" or "guilty" for NOT standing there listening and conversing with them in their spiel. This is what they count on. If they persist keep saying in an angry tone, "Go away" with palm out. Works every time.
#1 safety issue is be aware of your surroundings. Have other people around. Do NOT be alone anywhere, especially stairwells, parking garages, alleys, in the dark, in known bad areas.
yesterday, I was approached by sketchy looking men while in the parking lot. One approached me after I had just finished loading my groceries and asked me whether I was finished with my cart. There were numerous other empty carts all around,
This part confused me a bit. It is not unusual to ask or be asked if one is finished with their cart. I have been on both ends of that - it is, IMO a gracious act intended to save the previous user the hassel of returning the cart to the cart corral if one is heading into the store and needs a cart anyway. In broad daylight I would have said "sure thanks!" and handed off the cart.
"One approached me after I had just finished loading my groceries and asked me whether I was finished with my cart. There were numerous other empty carts all around, so at first I thought maybe he worked there and was retreiving them. I quickly realized by his desheveled and dirty appearance that he did not work there. He continued talking to me in slurred gibberish and asking odd questions at which point I just ignored him, got into my car quickly, locked the door and left him standing there."
Dec. 2021: Same parking lot I mentioned above. I unloaded my bags into the car, male voice said to me "I'll take your cart." I also thought it was another shopper who was walking past going to the store, I said "thanks", that's when he added "could you spare"....and went into his spiel about losing his job and needing to pay the rent which was due.
I actually began to go off on him, but I had just come out of the store looking for the red kettles/bell ringers since I always give $20.00 to them at Christmas. There weren't any and I had wondered if I'd see any to donate to.
A peace went over me and I told this guy, "I have charity money to donate but since they aren't here to donate to I will give it to you." I gave him the $20.00. I actually thought he was going to cry. He began to explain again about his job, rent due, I brushed him off with "you don't have to explain to me, Merry Christmas", and got in my car. I felt good about this particular time.
I got home, on the way to the potty my doorbell rang. A delivery I was expecting but didn't know when it would arrive (husbands cremated ashes) was being held in the arms of the delivery personnel, who spoke to me by saying he was sorry for my loss and was very kind. It was a blessing that I believe was timed to my compassion for the guy at the parking lot.
Lone females need to be extremely cautious about being approached in parking lots by strangers. I don't want anyone approaching me and wanting money. Get outta here. My story above was not a coincidence but an intended action in my life........
A couple summers ago I was back visiting my family in the suburbs on the east coast. I was there for only about 2 weeks, and am an athletic guy, close to 6 foot. I went to a shopping center, and I always like parking far away in the lot so I don’t have to deal with the hassle of fitting into a spot, and I like the exercise.
I digress…..but on 2 occasions (in the span of 2 weeks) I had shady guys pull up and ask me if I wanted them to fix the bumper of my car (only lightly damaged). It was weird because both times they approached me way far away from the store in the far end of the lot. Maybe this was innocent but I’ve heard that this is how women are approached for sex trafficking. And this was in broad daylight.
Especially for women, I would not recommend parking far out in parking lots of shopping centers/malls. Park near as close as you can near the entrance where there is foot traffic. It was super creeped out in the two incidents just mentioned and it was broad daylight. I think sex traffickers likely lookout for vulnerable people who they can get at easily.
Or maybe I should take some self-defense classes, or get a concealed carry license?
If this happens again, I would absolutely attend some self-defense classes (some police departments even teach those). Mace spray would probably be better for you than a pistol, which requires training and a determination to pull the trigger. You are not going to shoot at vagrants or beggars.
Not sure if you need a permit for Mace or bear spray in your area. Please understand that if you spray someone without a clear risk to your life, you might get in trouble with the law (again, not sure how NC looks at that), plus the wind might change and you could get it in your own eyes.
Those self-defense classes for women would probably train you to speak firmly to those low-lives. They will tell you "not to be a victim," which means don't look easily intimidated, walk confidently, and above all -- be aware of your surroundings. This is not the time to be on the phone.
Do NOT part next to a van. If you find a van next to you after you have shopped be extremely cautious...like don't even get near the van's sliding door. Occupant of van can open his door, snatch you, and shut the door in about 3 seconds. Your mouth will be covered instantly, and nobody will know you disappeared. This advice is especially relevant for younger ladies.
Parking lots are potentially dangerous spots even during the daytime, much more so in low light periods. For men and women alike, keep on your toes and be aware of your surroundings! I have had numerous Strange occurances over the years. Homeless, druggie, shady people, thieves and downright dangerous characters.
A couple summers ago I was back visiting my family in the suburbs on the east coast. I was there for only about 2 weeks, and am an athletic guy, close to 6 foot. I went to a shopping center, and I always like parking far away in the lot so I don’t have to deal with the hassle of fitting into a spot, and I like the exercise.
I digress…..but on 2 occasions (in the span of 2 weeks) I had shady guys pull up and ask me if I wanted them to fix the bumper of my car (only lightly damaged). It was weird because both times they approached me way far away from the store in the far end of the lot. Maybe this was innocent but I’ve heard that this is how women are approached for sex trafficking. And this was in broad daylight.
Especially for women, I would not recommend parking far out in parking lots of shopping centers/malls. Park near as close as you can near the entrance where there is foot traffic. It was super creeped out in the two incidents just mentioned and it was broad daylight. I think sex traffickers likely lookout for vulnerable people who they can get at easily.
Good post! Sometimes I think daytime can be more of a danger, because all the parked cars provide coverage.
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Take this seriously
