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Enforcing court ordered visitation is a nightmare. The visitation orders are often worded with; "if convenient for the child" etc. I have represented clients, male and female, in seeking an order to show cause why the custodial parent should not be held in contempt. It's tough to get the court to hold the custodial parent in contempt in most cases.
Then, the time issue: often MONTHS to get a court date - and then the postponements - and the cost to the non custodial parent in trying to enforce.
And, if the custodial parent moves out of state, the element of enforcment now gets really complex -
Sounds easy to some - it usually is not easy in reality
Enforcing court ordered visitation is a nightmare. The visitation orders are often worded with; "if convenient for the child" etc. I have represented clients, male and female, in seeking an order to show cause why the custodial parent should not be held in contempt. It's tough to get the court to hold the custodial parent in contempt in most cases.
Then, the time issue: often MONTHS to get a court date - and then the postponements - and the cost to the non custodial parent in trying to enforce.
And, if the custodial parent moves out of state, the element of enforcment now gets really complex -
Sounds easy to some - it usually is not easy in reality
Now add that hassle to a non-custodial parent who gets stationed overseas (Guam, for instance) with only one approved week's worth of CHIT for US-bound leave.
Visitation isn't a red herring. Visitation is something that non-custodials get screwed on... a lot. The same with this presumptive parenthood.
Again, I see no problem with DNA testing at divorce. When a man and woman are together, everything is for the household and family. Children are a part of that family. When a divorce occurs, that family is broken up. The father and child technically are no longer family unless biologically related.
So make the link and that father is officially the father. Then he can be made to pay child support.
I am amazed at the lack of love here. Men are your squigglys and wallet so much more important to you than being a father and the love of a child? If you raised a child for 10 yrs. then found out it wasnt your squiggly that penetrated the egg, you would just dump IT. The end. Not getting any more of my money. Holding that little baby, its first steps, learning to ride a bike, all the love and pride parents are suspose to have just flushed down because you didnt fertilize the egg. I would think you would want to continue the relationship, both emotionally and finacially.
This topic puts me in mind of situation where mothers were given the wrong baby and did not find out for years they had been raising not their biological child. I dont remember any of the mothers tossing the kid they raised aside and wanting reimbursed.
If I found out years later that my son wasn't really "mine", I am still going to take care of him like he's my own because of the strong bond we have created. Sure, it will be different, but I will care for him nonetheless.
Your concern for the kids in this fantasy world of your is SO...touching!
Again, this sort of attitude opens the door to all sorts of problems.
Imagine the following scenario: a man and a woman are in a relationship and a one-night act of infidelity occurs. Say a child was conceived by this act. Let's also presume, for this example, that the infidelity is either known about or is accepted as part of an understanding between the couple that side flings are possible or even OK. In short, let's presume that this couple deals with the infidelity in a way other than immediate divorce (yes, couples thankfully do work through infidelity without the immediate suit for divorce).
Let's say the couple then develops real relationship issues much later that require divorce. The father, having dealt with his wife's infidelity as stated above, suddenly changes his mind about supporting a child that he's been raising for years. And the paternity test comes along and shows that he is not the biological father. How does his presumptive fatherhood change in light of the above situation?
Do we really want to open this can of worms, especially when a child's interests are at stake?
For one thing he KNEW ABOUT IT AND ACCEPTED IT. I already said that those who accept that responsibility ARE LIABLE. Unless you are in fantasy land, I am talking about FINDING OUT AND NOT ACCEPTING IT. You presume that you find out something you definitely don't want and have to pay for it because???? Just because.. I don't think so.. thats why I instituted the rule of paternity tests on married mothers, the fathers have a RIGHT to know and make his OWN decision... paternity tests are not 100% but dang close to it (in fact its 99.999% accurate)... in this world NOTHING is 100%... paternity tests are as near perfect as can be...
Last edited by evilnewbie; 05-21-2008 at 11:00 AM..
If I found out years later that my son wasn't really "mine", I am still going to take care of him like he's my own because of the strong bond we have created. Sure, it will be different, but I will care for him nonetheless.
And then beat the living #$%# out of his mother.
(j/k).
Now imagine finding out when the baby is born and no bond is made. Should you be forced to pay child support?
I am amazed at the lack of love here. Men are your squigglys and wallet so much more important to you than being a father and the love of a child? If you raised a child for 10 yrs. then found out it wasnt your squiggly that penetrated the egg, you would just dump IT. The end. Not getting any more of my money. Holding that little baby, its first steps, learning to ride a bike, all the love and pride parents are suspose to have just flushed down because you didnt fertilize the egg. I would think you would want to continue the relationship, both emotionally and finacially.
This topic puts me in mind of situation where mothers were given the wrong baby and did not find out for years they had been raising not their biological child. I dont remember any of the mothers tossing the kid they raised aside and wanting reimbursed.
Who is talking about lack of love... we are talking about financial responsibility. If the father still wants contact with the kid, then obviously they have accepted it and are willing to pay for child support. You can't FORCE people to love someone else's kids no matter how you try to slant it...
Who is talking about lack of love... we are talking about financial responsibility.
Quote:
If I found out a kid isn't mine, he is gone.
Statements like the above. The overall tone sounds pretty cold. Agreed, if the father wants a divorce and accepts the child as his own, he should be granted every right and responsibility of a biological parent. I just dont see how it would be so easy to duck out on a child that you believed to be your own, financially or otherwise, just because you werent the owner of 1/2 the genetic makeup.
Im not sure how I feel about the issue. There are just too many variables.
We could just go back to the dark ages and stone the mother to death if it is found out the child is not the husbands.
Statements like the above. The overall tone sounds pretty cold. Agreed, if the father wants a divorce and accepts the child as his own, he should be granted every right and responsibility of a biological parent. I just dont see how it would be so easy to duck out on a child that you believed to be your own, financially or otherwise, just because you werent the owner of 1/2 the genetic makeup.
Im not sure how I feel about the issue. There are just too many variables.
We could just go back to the dark ages and stone the mother to death if it is found out the child is not the husbands.
Thank you. The cold lack of humanity in so many of the posts is frightening.
If these people could really just dump a child after so many years, simply because of the child's genetic makeup, then I really wonder how much they really love their own children.
It might seem "unfair" to to have presumptive paternity, but that's life, I'm afraid. The courts - and the state - have enough work on their hands trying to ensure that children are not given the short end of the stick in parental disputes. We don't need to add yet another burden in forcing the courts and the state to enforce adults' notions of what's "fair" and what's not "fair."
The argument often arises when a man - the presumtive (or biological) father is contributing financially for the childs well being, but, they also want to have visitation and interaction with the child - and the mother denies such interactions.
Then, it can, and all to often, does, get very messy
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