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I dont think they (or most people) are saying that. The top 10% (Id say 20%) get a much larger interest.
Both sexes seem to suffer from not understanding what the median actually looks like and both seem to try to punch above their fighting weight. This is a forever thing that seems greatly increased now. Probably in part because of things like Tinder.
/topic
That's all this is.
TV and Internet have convinced everyone that there is this illusory lifestyle they are entitled to, and included in that lifestyle is someone way outside their attractiveness/desirability peer group. And if they cannot have that, why have anything at all.
TV and Internet have convinced everyone that there is this illusory lifestyle they are entitled to, and included in that lifestyle is someone way outside their attractiveness/desirability peer group. And if they cannot have that, why have anything at all.
Because it's not real. TV/internet/ advertisting, it's not real, it's just designed to sell things and make money. It is fake and soulless. People need to grow up and realize this or this problem gets a lot worse.
In the end personality matters more than looks or money. That's not to say you can't attract women with money, but are they really going to be into you for you then? A lot of men don't care I guess, but I'm not going to bother with a woman unless she's really into me.
Wrong. In a western developed country, personality may get you the 2nd or 3rd date, but looks will get you the first date. And financial security will get you the long term marriage. I don’t care if you look like Brad Pitt, Henry Cavil and Chris Hemsworth, relationship, marriages, healthcare, and kids are not free. You need money. Entertainment, vacations, transportation, healthcare, childcare, wedding, engagement ring, housing, food, etc. it’s kind of hard to provide all that with no money.
As far as dating, you’re not competing against personality, you’re competing against hundreds of men all swiping right on the same attractive women. The odds are not in your favor.
And a woman wanting a man for money is no different than a man wanting a woman for her body and youth. If the transaction is mutual, who the hell is to say they’re not in love? They’re both bringing something, the other person deems valuable, to the table. If you bring nothing to the table, why would anyone want to date you? Your personality? Haha good one! Yeah, my personality is going to pay the bills and vacations to create memories…
TV and Internet have convinced everyone that there is this illusory lifestyle they are entitled to, and included in that lifestyle is someone way outside their attractiveness/desirability peer group. And if they cannot have that, why have anything at all.
Exactly. Hedonic adaptation has made everyone chase dopamine tingles at the expense of long term peace of mind. I prefer less noise, more peace. To each their own. The dangers of bringing foreign women back is that if they are not really into you, they will get indoctrinated by pop culture to want this lifestyle of experiences, clubbing, getting one's back blown out by a dominant male, and all the things their home culture didn't let them experience. It's wired into our DNA to crave a lot of this short term hedonistic pleasure.
The whole reason religion developed was to try and keep our nature in check... to force monogamy on a species that is not really wired for it.. I mean some people are, but some people aren't. We are wired to want novelty, new experiences... all animal species are to a degree. Dopamine is the chemical that drives the desire for novelty, the desire to expand, grow, push outward. Often people's intentions conflict with their desires... it's one of the annoying things about being human... primitive animal driven urges.
It seems like it is happening to everyone. Women have accepted they are not going to get a loving relationship because all men want is sex and then do not want to get married.
I think there has to be a reckoning. The relationship model we have doesn't work right anymore and we need to come up with something new.
For 500 + years women couldn't work and needed to be cared for. So men were bribed to marry them. They got a woman to have their children and a person to have sex with, but, they had to care for their wives for life and there was no divorce.
Once women could work and once divorce was around, things went belly up. Women simply don't have the desire for sex like men do and they aren't going to put up with it because they no longer get a big reward for it.
I agree we are on a dangerous path.
First, I know many men that want long term relationships, although many see marriage as a losing proposition because of how the divorce courts are set up. If you want more men to get married and settle down, you should advocate for the divorce court reform.
Also, I don’t know if you’re from an Aristocratic family, but women not being able to work is a luxury that simply didn’t happen in many communities. In fact, the lone stay at home housewife phenomenon is just that, an anomaly that happened during a time of great abundance for middle class families.
The women in my family worked during the time that women weren’t allowed to work apparently.
Youngsters have lost the art of conversation. You cannot meet young women if you are sitting in front of a computer playing video games.
There are tons of single women looking for a hard working, intelligent guy with a good sense of humor and calm disposition.
My two sons are well educated, athletic, and have good senses of humor. They have never had a problem meeting girls (one to be married in a month).
My daughter, an ortho surgical resident, says many guys encountered outside healthcare are not interesting people and often lack a sense of humor.
A. It's mostly young men's fault (I'm going to cross over from millennials to zoomers at will).
1. In a relativistic sense the bottom 30% of millennial men are likely the most unsuccessful bottom 30% male generational cohort ever.......the numbers per illicit drugs - so bad it is impacting cadre life expectancy, booze, self reported mental illness - off the charts anxiety, depression etc., educational underperformance generally/college completion especially, social confidence etc. defy belief.
1.1. Per college degree attainment in particular younger women are lapping younger men and have been since the later 1970s.
1.2. Young men as a cadre are academically so overwhelmed by similar age women/girls that selective colleges have begun treating male applicants as an underperforming cadre.......meaning it's easier for men to gain admission than women. Think about that for a second.
B. Younger men seem to derive little self satisfaction from hard work/strong back jobs too. A good friend is a plumber. He simply cannot find and keep young male US citizens mentally and physically able to be decent apprentices.
I wouldn't want to import women because I like my life in South Dakota
No one said you had to import or export anything. The point is that your soulmate, or partner you would like to date/marry, isn’t always going to be down the street or your high school sweetheart. There are 7.7 billion people in the world, surely you can find 1.
Wrong. In a western developed country, personality may get you the 2nd or 3rd date, but looks will get you the first date. And financial security will get you the long term marriage. I don’t care if you look like Brad Pitt, Henry Cavil and Chris Hemsworth, relationship, marriages, healthcare, and kids are not free. You need money. Entertainment, vacations, transportation, healthcare, childcare, wedding, engagement ring, housing, food, etc. it’s kind of hard to provide all that with no money.
As far as dating, you’re not competing against personality, you’re competing against hundreds of men all swiping right on the same attractive women. The odds are not in your favor.
And a woman wanting a man for money is no different than a man wanting a woman for her body and youth. If the transaction is mutual, who the hell is to say they’re not in love? They’re both bringing something, the other person seems valuable, to the table. If you bring nothing to the table, why would anyone want to date you? Your personality? Haha good one! Yeah, my personality is going to pay the bills…
Exactly, and the increasing ways that people meet each other doesn’t really prioritize personality as a selecting pressure. You’re on dating apps where looks and appearances get you through the door. Even if you aren’t on a specified dating app, but you’re on instagram or other social media which functions in the same way, a lot of what people curate on their is looks and a projection of one’s status.
You can have a great personality, but still not have a lot of social capital and status, especially if you’re one doesn’t wish to participate in social media. These are increasingly becoming selective pressures among the dating populace. Before you had single people in your town to choose from in the dating pool, this is no longer the case as social media has made the world smaller.
Anyone who says that personality is still the greatest selection to get in the door with dating nowadays is taking copium. A lot of the people who say this have probably been out of the dating market for a while or aren’t in an age group that is increasingly addicted to social media.
-Men today are utterly dependent on their female partners for emotional support, comfort, and guidance. Men of today do not have close, platonic relationships with other men the way they did in the past.
-The proliferation of sex and sexual imagery in this culture. Men are pretty much kept in a perpetual state of sexual arousal, which is something that men in the past did not have to deal with. Men today are oversexed without actually having sex.
A. It's mostly young men's fault (I'm going to cross over from millennials to zoomers at will).
1. In a relativistic sense the bottom 30% of millennial men are likely the most unsuccessful bottom 30% male generational cohort ever.......the numbers per illicit drugs - so bad it is impacting cadre life expectancy, booze, self reported mental illness - off the charts anxiety, depression etc., educational underperformance generally/college completion especially, social confidence etc. defy belief.
1.1. Per college degree attainment in particular younger women are lapping younger men and have been since the later 1970s.
1.2. Young men as a cadre are academically so overwhelmed by similar age women/girls that selective colleges have begun treating male applicants as an underperforming cadre.......meaning it's easier for men to gain admission than women. Think about that for a second.
B. Younger men seem to derive little self satisfaction from hard work/strong back jobs too. A good friend is a plumber. He simply cannot find and keep young male US citizens mentally and physically able to be decent apprentices.
If this is the case, why are there so few scholarship programs for the left behind men and so many for women? All we hear about is how we need to get more women in STEM and there are programs being created with this mission statement. We hear about how the issue with the low numbers of women in STEM is due to systemic discrimination and how we need to collectively address this problem.
Why is it that when men fall behind, all of a sudden they need to adopt a bootstrap mentality?
When it is women faltering, then we have no issues with taking a deeper sociological dive into why the issue may be arising, but men, it’s their faults and they need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
Toxic femininity on display in this post.
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