America's crisis is a lack of fathers (death, Hispanic, party)
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We are very busy making life difficult for some fathers. When fathers are dead, incarcerated, deployed, or simply run off, the kids know less about being a father or what to look for as a potential father. (It is sometimes actually good that the father is gone.) After a couple generations the link to positive father figures and proper loving father images and behavior seems foreign. It exists on TV but not in their world. I was a caseworker for seven years and dealt with fatherless families and was actually encouraged by some of the outcomes. Against all odds, the mothers stepped in and played both roles (or tried to) and the kids sometimes responded to that heroic effort in a positive way. There were many who went the other way but that was not the universal outcome.
Human fathers generally lack the instinct to care for their offspring. The same is true for many other mammal species.
Historically, the solution to this problem was to give fathers *absolute power* over their wives and children, so that fathers would stick around and shoulder the burden of family life. The only thing men crave as much as sex is power and authority over others, so that arrangement kind of worked. It wasn’t so great for all of the battered and abused women and children, but at least they had food and a roof overhead.
Like it or not, that was the traditional “social contract” in most societies until the 1960s and 70s. Now, the government has things like child support to make sure that offspring can survive. Not ideal, but it probably means fewer battered wives and children.
Not true.
My observation is such, that men in different societies are different too.
They are tuned differently, and men of the Northern European descent are usually much more tuned ( naturally so,) towards their immediate families, and they are more tuned to deal with their children than, say, men of other origins, who tend to spend more time in the company of each other, leaving women in their own groups. (i.e. the "collective" arrangements.)
Too many different things contributing to the downfall of the USA, to easily point a finger at one thing specifically.
But yes, the elevating and even deification of Mommies, seemed to run concurrently with
the idea that Daddies are not really necessary, many times a danger to their children, and should be viewed as a creeperperv-risk around all Littlekiddies.
There is a reason why I think withholding sex until marriage is underrated. There is a reason I practice this. It's 100% effective. No sex = no unwanted pregnancies.
Ideally, people should fall in love, get married, have sex and children - in that order. That is what I recommend.
The traditional way of doing things is still the best way.
But people often can't control themselves, and that's where they get into trouble in their lives.
Men that fail to fulfill their parental responsibilities are part of the problem, not men in general. Women that fail to fulfill their parental responsibilities are equally part of the problem.
There was a female CD poster a few years ago that went off complaining about men. She had been married three times and all three of her husbands had been horrible men. She went on about how all men were just terrible based on her experience. So I pointed out to her that there was one thing that her three ex-husbands have in common. Her.
What does it say about a woman that continually makes poor choices in sexual partners and birth control?
It says she likely didn't have a strong male figure in her own life growing up.
Ideally, people should fall in love, get married, have sex and children - in that order. That is what I recommend.
The traditional way of doing things is still the best way.
But people often can't control themselves, and that's where they get into trouble in their lives.
To say nothing of those of us who are cosmically screwed where marriage is impossible......in a media world that bombards us with that people are suppose to be married. It is something rather of a hell.
Speak for yourself. I raised 4 children who are all responsible and generally happy adults. I've achieved many things in this life and they all pale in comparison to that accomplishment.
I was inspired by the fact that my own father abandoned my brothers and I when I was an infant.
Posts like yours that paint all men in the same light are simply incorrect.
And that seems to be the case, that either the child will do the opposite of the parent, or they will become the parent.
Mmmmm, this sort of came up at a psychology conference in the first decade of this century. Not him directly but about how the athletes wear all the gold jewelry and ought to be better role models.
But the thing about using someone you don't know as a role model is that you don't know what does on in their life for them to have the image that one sees. Such as, someone might see me as a great role model in my focus, my alertness, of how nothing depresses me........and not realize at all the loneliness generated to achieve that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wapasha
Now teachers think that since they went to a four year college that they should be role models and raise your kids, and turn them against you if need be.
Just as there are some parents who are horrible people and bad parents, there are teachers who should never influence kids or be a role model for any child.
Just as some people go into politics or to practice law, because they want to push their views and agenda on people and society, whether they like it or not. There are some people who go into teaching because they want to push their politics and ideology and life style choices onto children.
My take was this was from a time period when things like Columbine happened & then the entertainment & media industry was like all the stuff in movies, music, fashion, games in no way shape or form had any responsibility for what they put out there.
Nowadays it seems like they have done a 180 and now are claiming people should follow then, albeit not conceding any responsibility for what happens like before.
I think if you like an entertainer that's fine but be wary of what the mainstream or the crowd says should be a role that is to be modeled after, especially one that has a nasty history of supporting neo-nazis, fascists/corporatists, slavers & other questionable characters.
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