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And yet, we've had two presidents in my lifetime who were raised by single mothers.
Children need unconditional love to grow and mature. Where they get it, whether from fathers, mothers, or a combination of the two, is of less than no importance.
Actually in reality the lack of a father is highly correlated with problems about boundaries. Both Obama and Clinton suffered from this. It is innate and when dad is gone, it is very hard to replace.
This is slightly off-topic, but my 22-year-old daughter is now working at my company. Since we have been allowed to return to work, I work from the office once every 2-to 3 weeks just to get out of the house. When I am in the office, we have lunch together.
I walked her back to her classroom and her supervisor stepped out to chat. He asked me, "How did you get you're daughter to like you"? I laughed but he was serious. He said that his daughters are standoffish to him and don't act like they want to be around him but my daughter acts as if she adores me. It was a hell of a compliment.
I don't know of a single thing that I've done to "get" my daughter to like me. It's just that being an engaged father has been the greatest joy of my life. I love being a Dad. I don't know how anyone could have a child and not be engaged in their life.
Ideally, yes, it would be great to have two-parent households, parents who both love their children and each other. However, there are way too many households who have fathers who are there in name only, who either abuse their children, or cause such turmoil because they themselves are unhappy. I used to ask my mom why she didn't leave my dad because they fought all the time. The only times we were happy in our home was when he was at work. Sometimes having fathers at home isn't always for the best.
That largely describes the upbringing I had, until my father left home in my early teens. My upbringing was not great by any stretch, and to top it off there were plenty of "men" (teachers, guidance counselors, extended family) who could have stepped in and helped out a young man who could have used it, but they didn't.
That, however, didn't stop me from being a good father myself. I'm not going to let my father's lack of ability to be a parent interfere with mine. We can either learn from our parents and do better, or repeat their mistakes, so frankly this conversation needs to be had and had often, and it needs to be heard loud and clear that just because there are deadbeat dads out there doesn't mean that it has to be a pattern that repeats through the generations. When you're a parent, life is not about you anymore, I think that scares some people, but they don't realize that being involved in raising another human being is one of the most meaningful things they can do, if they can put themselves aside and focus on what's truly important.
People can do better, they just have to choose to.
As our country commemorates Father’s Day this weekend, it is important that we recognize the millions of children throughout our nation who are growing up without their fathers. Data from the United States Census Bureau shows that nearly 18.5 million children grow up without their fathers, which has in return led to the United States owning the title of the world’s leader in fatherlessness.
We know that fatherhood is essential to the development of our children and that the increased involvement of fathers in the home leads to better results on a wide variety of outcomes. From economic prosperity, increased academic performance, to improved social mobility; fathers in their respective homes continues to be a key indicator of success for all children across racial, ethnic, and socio-economic groups. That is why we have joined forces to introduce a resolution into the U.S. House of Representatives that promotes fatherhood and its proven benefit to society.
When reading the above, I find myself thinking about my grandmother, whose father died of typhoid when she was still a toddler, and my dad, whose father died of cancer when my dad was an infant. The women in my family tree came together to support each other and help to raise each other's children. Nobody criticized my grandmother's and g-grandmother's efforts or found their children less than because there were no fathers in the picture. All of their kids did very well in life. That's not to say that I don't adore my own dad, who has been the best father anyone could ask for, but women can and do raise children successfully on their own.
Ideally, yes, it would be great to have two-parent households, parents who both love their children and each other. However, there are way too many households who have fathers who are there in name only, who either abuse their children, or cause such turmoil because they themselves are unhappy.
So, there's a crisis in this country with grownups who don't know how to behave like adults?
I'm surprised so many men support the notion that men are to blame for our problems.
Other men. Not themselves or the group they see themselves as belonging to. Y'know - those who fail are inner-city. Urban. The sort to celebrate Juneteenth. There's a very strict separation between the ones who fail and those who don't - you can almost say that they see the issue in black and white.
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