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Dating does not have to end in sex, or unprotected sex. Women make the ultimate reproductive decisions. Sorry but that's just biology. Condoms give males some preventative role but only a woman can make an affirmative decision to engage in reproductive activities, despite the dictates of wokedom.
And dating nor sex has to end in marriage or children.
Women do not go pick a man from a line up thinking this one will make a good father or husband.
People meet, It has generally been that a guy asks a girl out. So first step is basically the guy pick the woman he wants to be with. She can accept or decline.
I guess all that has change with dating apps. Both are actually picking and choosing without actually meeting.
Next I assume is meeting face to face and seeing if there is an attraction/connection.
Then getting to know one another over time.
Yes women can decline sex, so can men. As a man, if you dont want to be a father, dont have unprotected sex or dont have sex at all. Stop blaming women for men's failure to uphold their parental responsibility.
And no where in all this is knowing 100% if that person will be a good partner or parent, unless you are Miss Cleo.
Again, I would advise every young woman to wait until she has and education/training and a job/career, married and have a family support system in place before ever thinking about having a child but this is not about women/mothers, its about fathers.
Men choose to engage in sex as much or more so than women. I taught my sons (and grandsons) not to have sex with any woman they would not be willing to raise a child with. If they couldn't follow that advice they were still as responsible for any child as the mother was.
We need to teach schoolchildren about the value and sanctity of traditional marriage between a man and a woman. Children of appropriate age need to be educated about the dire statistics about single-parent households.
There need to be severe punishments and penalties for any parent who abandons their children except for unusual circumstances.
Divorce has to be made much more difficult and expensive for all people involved.
Get back to traditional values and no more "experimentation" with things that don't work in society.
Well, that be much more complex than one imagines especially when there are those like me where there isn't someone out there for me and the hell & agony that is produced with a world that bombards you with that you are to be married.
Ie, for me, Charmed was great when it was about single hot witches but when they moved into everyone getting married, the show fell off the cliff for me (as an example of this bombardment world).
Maybe so......but a lot of men are certainly no help in supporting women's decisions.
Speaking for myself, I never engaged in unprotected sex before February 1995, when my wife and I decided to start with children. We had our first a little more than a year later.
Speaking for myself, I never engaged in unprotected sex before February 1995, when my wife and I decided to start with children. We had our first a little more than a year later.
I don't either but have known plenty of men from absolute refusal from the start to be in months of negotiations where it was agreed on at first and suddenly say No to even one where we both were hot, bothered, and undressed in the hotel room when he says he left them out in the car......fortunately, I always carry my own supply.
Another thing is, if we put aside for the moment the human need for intimacy (it is very hard to go through life without it), one must remember that in many cases, the woman is dealing with someone who is bigger and stronger than she is, where if he doesn't get what he wants, he may turn violent or at least unpleasant. Her only choice in that situation, to get out okay, maybe to kill him......and that's a massive headache. Getting him off, deactivating him as it might be, maybe be the "more preferable" course of action.
America may have a lack of fathers....but it is also pretty well lacking in decent men.
I don't either but have known plenty of men from absolute refusal from the start to be in months of negotiations where it was agreed on at first and suddenly say No to even one where we both were hot, bothered, and undressed in the hotel room when he says he left them out in the car......fortunately, I always carry my own supply.
Another thing is, if we put aside for the moment the human need for intimacy (it is very hard to go through life without it), one must remember that in many cases, the woman is dealing with someone who is bigger and stronger than she is, where if he doesn't get what he wants, he may turn violent or at least unpleasant. Her only choice in that situation, to get out okay, maybe to kill him......and that's a massive headache. Getting him off, deactivating him as it might be, maybe be the "more preferable" course of action.
America may have a lack of fathers....but it is also pretty well lacking in decent men.
I would assume that no one should be alone, in private, with anyone until they are comfortable with the other person.
We need to teach schoolchildren about the value and sanctity of traditional marriage between a man and a woman. Children of appropriate age need to be educated about the dire statistics about single-parent households.
There need to be severe punishments and penalties for any parent who abandons their children except for unusual circumstances.
Divorce has to be made much more difficult and expensive for all people involved.
Get back to traditional values and no more "experimentation" with things that don't work in society.
I agree with your first sentence.
Punishment really does not seem to help with moral impotence. And what possible benefit would that be to children to have their parent punished, incarcerated, fined? Forcing a parent to remain parenting a child when they do not want to would only lead to child abuse.
Again, forcing people to remain in an unhappy, abusive, volatile marriage does not result in positive outcomes for anyone. Divorce already causes financial issues, especially for women and children.
The problem with traditional values is the same with modern values, not everyone abides by them.
Human fathers generally lack the instinct to care for their offspring. The same is true for many other mammal species.
Historically, the solution to this problem was to give fathers *absolute power* over their wives and children, so that fathers would stick around and shoulder the burden of family life. The only thing men crave as much as sex is power and authority over others, so that arrangement kind of worked. It wasn’t so great for all of the battered and abused women and children, but at least they had food and a roof overhead.
Like it or not, that was the traditional “social contract” in most societies until the 1960s and 70s. Now, the government has things like child support to make sure that offspring can survive. Not ideal, but it probably means fewer battered wives and children.
Wow, quite a broad and ignorant brush you've painted all men with, eh?This might be hard for you to hear all the way back in 70's, but that wasn't the case for all men, nor is that the case today. There are plenty of men who love being a Father. I have friends who love their children, and wouldn't trade their family for the world. But thanks for punching down on all men with such a stupid comment
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC
This is from 2019, and the trend seems to be looking better than in the 90's and earlier 2000's.
A very small percentage are completely absent from their minor children's lives, 6% of all dads.
4/5 live with some of their children, or live part time with their children. (shared custody)
Nearly 3/4 of dads, according to the census, live with all their minor children.
So not nearly as bleak as the picture was for those kids who are now entering adulthood or are in adulthood as far as having no dads to raise them.
Looks like the corner has turned, and men's organizations can be credited for whipping them into shape and making them realize they're needed, and duty-bound.
No, the corner has not turned. Spare us your Liberal talking points. Has it gotten better? Maybe, a little. but it's nowhere close to the level you claim it is.
Or they’re unhappy because their wives make them that way…and let’s not act like the woman didn’t have a choice who to mate/marry. It’s a 2 way street, but funny how only the man is blamed…and many don’t leave because they can’t make it on their own. Again, poor planning on not looking ahead to consequences that can occur, yet there’s sOOO many examples to learn from.
Women don't always have a choice of who they marry. I was forced to get married as a child by the adults in my life. I wasn't allowed any rights or choices. I wasn't even allowed to say no to sex. I escaped as soon as I was able to get away and the community denied me employment and tried to bully me into going back. 'Go home and pray to be made a better wife.' Then I have to live constantly being falsely accused of "making poor choices" because of other people's choices.
I would assume that no one should be alone, in private, with anyone until they are comfortable with the other person.
Maybe so......but given the cases of domestic violence of the wife being victimized by the husband, from being raped on her wedding night to violence through the marriage, I would say there are lots of cases of where people felt comfortable with the other person......but then that level of being comfortable changed.
I would assume that no one should be alone, in private, with anyone until they are comfortable with the other person.
Even one's spouse has been known to force himself on his wife. I would think being in a committed relationship would dictate one is comfortable being alone with the other person. Yet women are very often sexually assaulted by their mates.
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