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I did not suffer from postpartum depression, and I hope I did not give that impression. I'm just pointing out that men also have a care-giving instinct that was given short shrift in the linked article and ensuing discussion.
I did not get that impression and was confused by the poster's discussion of PPD.
I agree no one seems to speak on paternal instinct. I mentioned early on when how women will fight to protect her children that men do the same.
I also agree that there has been an idolized standard for motherhood and an almost opposite perception of what fatherhood should look like, but that does not negate parental instinct.
I did not get that impression and was confused by the poster's discussion of PPD.
I agree no one seems to speak on paternal instinct. I mentioned early on when how women will fight to protect her children that men do the same. I also agree that there has been an idolized standard for motherhood and an almost opposite perception of what fatherhood should look like, but that does not negate parental instinct.
Yes! When my children were born, my spouse worked for an extremely progressive tech company that had a generous parental leave policy. I noticed that many of the other dads in his division were hands-on with their children, which was very different from the way fathers behaved in my Midwestern hometown. My husband and his peers had social support for active, involved fatherhood.
Keeping tabs on what viewpoints they are promoting is important. They are basically a canary in the coal mine.
They published this attack on motherhood ... because it's what they do. This assault is masquerading as a review of biology and sociology. It's moronic, not based in any evidence, using poor sources to try to build a foundation for the idea "men created maternal instinct."
WHY would they publish such a viewpoint?
Who is their targeted reader? What type of immediate internalization of ideas does the targeted reader have? It's: NYT said so, must be true.
Ands you see it in this thread. People claiming there is no such thing as maternal instinct. I guess women are just sexless, genderless robots with no special attributes.
I was wondering why YOU had the need to republish something, not the NYT.
One crackpot doesn't make a trend. More than likely NYT published it because they want to see how many times it got shared. They, like all the rest are generating revenue with audacious click bait.
If everyone just started ignoring such tripe we'd start focusing on things that were actually important to the county and society. Why shovel crap when there are so many REAL issues that need attention.
Yes! When my children were born, my spouse worked for an extremely progressive tech company that had a generous parental leave policy. I noticed that many of the other dads in his division were hands-on with their children, which was very different from the way fathers behaved in my Midwestern hometown. They had social support for active, involved fatherhood.
Over the years (60's to present) I have definitely seen a change for the better in father's role and involvement with their children. I believe it has been influenced by media and changing acceptable attitudes. Not that men never had nurturing parental instincts, but they were expected to feel and behave differently than mothers.
I remember my mom saying with one of us she had false labor which made dad mad. When she did go into labor, at the hospital he kept insisting she hurry it up so he could go back to work. I dont think he ever changed a diaper, or fed us, or rocked any of us, etc. until the last 2 grans came when he was in his 70's. Far cry from fathers today.
Over the years (60's to present) I have definitely seen a change for the better in father's role and involvement with their children. I believe it has been influenced by media and changing acceptable attitudes. Not that men never had nurturing parental instincts, but they were expected to feel and behave differently than mothers.
I remember my mom saying with one of us she had false labor which made dad mad. When she did go into labor, at the hospital he kept insisting she hurry it up so he could go back to work. I dont think he ever changed a diaper, or fed us, or rocked any of us, etc. until the last 2 grans came when he was in his 70's. Far cry from fathers today.
And with so many gay men being fathers. Especially the ones that are rich and famous and wax poetic about fatherhood. I’m thinking Andy cohen and Neil Patrick Harris who at least portray themselves as having all the instincts needed to raise healthy children- no mother needed.
I've now read the article several times, and I do not think it is an attack on motherhood. I grew up with a very loving mother but not one who was maternal in the soft-focus, Mormon mommy blog way. She was smart and ambitious, and she spent a lot of time working at a demanding career that often kept her away from home. Although I went down a different path and became a SAHM, she taught me that entirely selfless mothering is emotionally draining and unhealthy. She taught me to prioritize taking care of myself and to be realistic about what raising small children actually requires. She also drove home the point that fathers can be and must be care-givers, too, and that dads never "babysit" their own children. I will forever be grateful for her guidance.
Over the years (60's to present) I have definitely seen a change for the better in father's role and involvement with their children. I believe it has been influenced by media and changing acceptable attitudes. Not that men never had nurturing parental instincts, but they were expected to feel and behave differently than mothers.
I remember my mom saying with one of us she had false labor which made dad mad. When she did go into labor, at the hospital he kept insisting she hurry it up so he could go back to work. I dont think he ever changed a diaper, or fed us, or rocked any of us, etc. until the last 2 grans came when he was in his 70's. Far cry from fathers today.
Keeping tabs on what viewpoints they are promoting is important. They are basically a canary in the coal mine.
They published this attack on motherhood ... because it's what they do. This assault is masquerading as a review of biology and sociology. It's moronic, not based in any evidence, using poor sources to try to build a foundation for the idea "men created maternal instinct."
WHY would they publish such a viewpoint?
Who is their targeted reader? What type of immediate internalization of ideas does the targeted reader have? It's: NYT said so, must be true.
Ands you see it in this thread. People claiming there is no such thing as maternal instinct. I guess women are just sexless, genderless robots with no special attributes.
And for another viewpoint on motherhood.
Published last month in the op ed section by a guest writer.
It brought tears to my eyes and it worth a read imho.
[URL]https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/16/opinion/covid-empty-nest.html[/URL]
Same readership targeted.
Some may find it equally or even more offensive.
I remember that column and it brought tears to my eyes, too, because it so closely reflected my own family's pandemic experience. My children had just started to fledge when Covid clipped their wings, and I suppose I could have been angry to see them deprived of their nascent independence, but their father and I were secretly thrilled to have them home again. It was a weirdly wonderful experience. Now, they are both back where they belong, one pursuing her career and the other away at college. I'd be lying if I did not admit to feeling a gnawing grief in their absence. Letting go of young adult children is very hard, and it's especially hard to go through it twice.
I remember that column and it brought tears to my eyes, too, because it so closely reflected my own family's pandemic experience. My children had just started to fledge when Covid clipped their wings, and I suppose I could have been angry to see them deprived of their nascent independence, but their father and I were secretly thrilled to have them home again. It was a weirdly wonderful experience. Now, they are both back where they belong, one pursuing her career and the other away at college. I'd be lying if I did not admit to feeling a gnawing grief in their absence, even knowing that they are where they belong. Letting go of young adult children is very hard, and it's especially hard to go through it twice.
I read all the op eds.
Some I agree with and some I don't.
Some are more poignant, like this one.
I am also struck by the quality of the writing. the NYtimes is one of the last places where these kinds of essays exist. NewYorker is another one.
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