Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I named my son after the town where his dad and I were when we became a couple. There is a story behind it and Austin is about as common as you can get nowadays. And yes, I really wish my parents had not decided to name me after my grandmother and given me a normal name. I'd even take my middle name, Ann, over the first one. But there was nothing I could do about it and I lived with it. But I can promise you, I thought before I named my child. A name (most of the time) is forever and saddling kids with weird names because you want to make a statment about your individuality is beyond stupid.
My point is made. You chose to name your child for a reason, a creative reason at that, the place where you met, what if that place had been Sioux city, you would have had a boy named Sioux. What you see as perfectly acceptable, my Northern sensibilities might see as capricious, what if a boss had a bad business deal in Austin? Naming people to please others and to ensure your child is not picked on, is just silly. If they had not picked on your name, they would have said you were too short, too tall, to fat, to small, etc.
Your desire to make your child's life better is laudable, what is in question is why it is not acceptable for other children to have any name their parent's desire and not be subject to scorn and ridicule by adults?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Habsburg Shaniqua, Tashawnda, Darnell, Tyrone are a few stereotypically black names.
Quote:
I don't know anyone named Shaniqua or Tashawnda or Darnell.
The most common names I've ever run across has been Keisha/Michelle for women and Sean/Michael for men. I think I know one Tyrone - and that Erika Badu song of courss.
I've worked with white guys named Leroy, Darnell and Denzil, all stereotypically Black names. IMO, what parents name their children is their right as parents, the parents and children have to live with the names. If I can't spell/pronounce a name, that's my problem! I've come accross some pretty goofy sounding White names in my days, Blacks don't have a lock on "unique" names!
I think it comes down to economics in a lot of cases. Any blacks near me growing up were Steve, Joe, Brian, etc. There are a fair number of whites naming their children oddly as well...Moonbeam, Rain...I knew a girl that named her daughter "Draven Clover".
I recall reading a study about how likely an employer was to respond to a resume based on the name...names such as Shaniqua were less likely (I'm assuming a name like Draven Clover is in the same boat).
My point is made. You chose to name your child for a reason, a creative reason at that, the place where you met, what if that place had been Sioux city, you would have had a boy named Sioux. What you see as perfectly acceptable, my Northern sensibilities might see as capricious, what if a boss had a bad business deal in Austin? Naming people to please others and to ensure your child is not picked on, is just silly. If they had not picked on your name, they would have said you were too short, too tall, to fat, to small, etc.
Your desire to make your child's life better is laudable, what is in question is why it is not acceptable for other children to have any name their parent's desire and not be subject to scorn and ridicule by adults?
in my previous post, I mentioned I would rather give kids name's w/ meaning, even if that name is uncommon. "Barrack" is an uncommon name in the USA, but translated, it has a sweet meaning. lots of people are named after where their parents met, or where they were born/conceived ("Kalamazoo" is a wierd name, but if there is a story behind it, not as bad as some others. the kid can go by "Kal" and not have to worry as much about discrimination. not a great name and not one I'd ever fully like for a kid, but there are much worse). my beef is w/ the absurd, unbelievably made up names that just seems to highlight the parents' ridiculous needs to stand out via the unique names they give their kids, w/o looking ahead to see how that name will impact that child's future. no one is saying you have to pick a name that will please others (no one has said anything of the sort in this thread), and I'm not a fan of those name lists some countries have from which parents have to choose their child's name, but people REALLY do take this unique naming thing to a horrific degree.
forget black names for a moment, there was a recent story from NZ or Australia about a judge that ordered a name change for a girl who was named Talua Does The Hula. the judge basically said such a name saddled the young girl w/ too much burden, that she would be made fun of constantly, which would hampered w/ her learning. do YOU think the judge was wrong?? I'm sorry, but if I picked up a resume and saw the name "Talua Does The Hula Jones" I'd think the parents were drunken fools for naming their kids such, and I wouldn't think to highly of an applicant that stuck to such a name through adult hood, I'd think that person was using a name to stand out from the crowd, when the only thing from the resume that should stand out is their qualifications. I don't think a judge here could ever do what the judge overseas did, especially when it comes to a black name, b/c people would cry about racism and people like you will say any name a parent chooses for their child is a good name and should be allowed, even if that parent was a stoned, drunken idiot who named their kid Cloaca or Placentia (and even though many people in the black community think these names are foolish, as evidenced by the blog entries I've posted). sometimes, a sane adult needs to step in a save these kids from their parents' decisions, even if it means having their name legally changed from whatever nonsense their parents gave them.
question for you janeannwho: have you ever been discriminated against, or felt you have been?? I'm a black, overweight, nerdy woman who grew up dirt poor. I have no doubt that since the time I was born, I've been discriminated against one some minor level. I was picked on by kids for having glasses, dressing poor, not speaking English properly, etc. I could never apply to certain jobs b/c I know I'd be discriminated against due to my weight, or my baby dreadlocks. never mind the racism and sexism that still exists in the workforce, a lot of it which are hard to prove. it sucked for me, but I moved on. there are some aspects myself I can never change. I can't change my race, nationality, sex (well, I could, but it sounds painful ), so I just don't worry how people perceive me on those levels. I could lose weight to eliminate the fat bias, could get rid of the locs, etc, to better conform, and in some businesses, I would likely have to do something like this to succeed. knowing all the grief I got growing up, I'm going to do everything w/in my means to make sure my child doesn't become overweight, to dress them right so they won't look trashy (I literally wore the same pair of pants almost every day of the school week in HS b/c I didn't have many other options. kids caught on to that pretty quick) or like a street walker (kids made fun of my sister for dressing like a prostitute in HS). I know there's only so much I can do and there will always be something someone will find about her to discriminate against, but I can try to make it as easy as possible, to help her start off life w/ some dignity from the get-go. I just don't get why parents just set their kids up like targets from birth, why they give them knows they have to know will follow their kids around like a bad smell for a long time, all for the sake of sounding unique. the child starts out in life w/ no dignity and will have to work harder for respect
discrimination happens in ALL workforce. like chielgirl said, it can be used to pick one potential applicant over the other. while many forms of obvious discrimination is illegal, many, especially subtle ones, are not. employers can discriminate against you if you smoke, have giant tattoos, weird piercings, came in dressed like a Vegas showgirl durnig the interview, are fat, are too old, too young, if you have kids (it's illegal, but they find subtle ways of doing it), if you're female (it's illegal, but they find subtle ways of doing it), if you're a certain nationality (it's illegal, but they find subtle ways of doing it), race/religion/sexual orientation/etc (all of these are illegal, but they find subtle ways of doing it). real ethnic names are hard enough but a kooky name isn't going to help you whatsoever. I always hear how, as a black woman, I have to be twice as good as a white woman and 4x as good as a white man if I want to get ahead. I have to show I'm just as or more smart/articulate/hard working than a white woman or man. black people have so many odds against them already, giving your child a tacky, made up name in a day and age when such names are looked at w/ distaste, just adds more unnecessary obstacles in your child's life (not only do they have to prove they are just as intelligent as a white candidate, they now have to prove that, despite being named DeShooShoo, they are in fact serious and smart)
in the end, I can think of a ton of reasons not to name your child Cloaca, SiPhyllis, Doctor, Candy Gurl, Talua Does The Hula, Bad Boy, DeLaShayniquaqua, Chlamynia, ESPN, Oranjello, or Quientyrono, but I can't think of any reasons, nor have heard of any reasons besides "parents' desire to name their child whatever" and "anyone who makes fun of anyone in this world are bigots and weren't raised right" to name these kids as such. WHY would anyone do so, that's my question? would YOU legally change your name to one of these (remember my challenge to you? you haven't replied about that)?
as sad as that name and some black names are, I can't believe there are kids in NZ being name Fish and Chips and there's a real life child out there named Number 16 Bus Shelter!.
but hey, it's a parent's right and desire to name their kid whatever and we should all just accept it, right janeannwho? (I can see it now, Vice President Number 16 Bus Shelter! or "let me introduce you to the CEO of Megabucks Corp, Number 16 Bus Shelter!")
NO parent's right or desire should supercede their child's ability to live a happy, successful life
as sad as that name and some black names are, I can't believe there are kids in NZ being name Fish and Chips and there's a real life child out there named Number 16 Bus Shelter!.
but hey, it's a parent's right and desire to name their kid whatever and we should all just accept it, right janeannwho? (I can see it now, Vice President Number 16 Bus Shelter! or "let me introduce you to the CEO of Megabucks Corp, Number 16 Bus Shelter!")
NO parent's right or desire should supercede their child's ability to live a happy, successful life
I'm sorry but the whole sound of "black names" just irks me. There are threads on here saying "why is there always a black thread" and "black people need to get over it" but now we have one where we're going to label a name as black?
Why are black people so stuck on segregation? Because white people said our names sound to black. Well I guess I gave my son a black name - it's Swahili to be exact but I actually named him after my favorite reporter because I've always loved his name. Hope I haven't doomed him to a life of poverty.
My family called everyone by their first and second name, sue ann, marie martha, jean ann, etc, when I went to school, even though it was noted on my records, my mom spoke to the teachers, etc, some how the two simplest names in the world jane and ann, were too burdensome, and remain so in many cases, for people to say. I have introduced myself many times as Janeann and people say, oh nice to meet you Jane, then I repeat, Janeann, then they say Jane and I ignore them. They could be saying Polly for all I know, they are certainly not speaking to me, as I am not Jane.
I am sorry that people did not get it, Janeann. That is a beautiful name. Simple and pretty.
It's about American society. I'm of Irish descent but if I were to give my child a gaelic name 90% of people probably wouldn't be able to pronounce it...and people would call it an "irish name". I wouldn't be offended...what's so offensive about a "black name" if you're proud of your heritage.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
