Why do people insist on adopting children from foreign countries instead of children from the U.S.?

[chattypatty]

Originally Posted by LML

I actually know a couple who are absolutely some of the most loving, great people you would ever want to meet. They own their own successful business. Have a beautiful home. Volunteer for countless child related causes. Teach Sunday School. Give both money and time to help people in need. Have a very happy, very stable marriage. These are truly just some wonderful people. They passed everything in the adoption review but were turned down and refused adoption. Why? Because they were overweight. And then there are still those who want to make people believe that there are all these children who go without homes because no one wants to adopt them? NUTS! The truth is that the system is just plain nuts.

As if there aren't people who have children born to them and who are excellent parents who:

1. Are overweight
2. Are over 35
3. Don't own their own home
4. Have been divorced

And yet all of these things can be used to block an adoption. Add to that the crazy social workers who believe that preserving the birth family is the only thing that matters so they keep returning poor little children who have been terribly abused and neglected to mothers who continue to abuse and neglect them....and sometimes even kill them. The adoption system is broken. And until it is fixed then don't blame people for adopting children from other countries. And bear in mind that those children are innocent and need love too.

Yeah, I know. It's so true. I have seen friends bond with a child or children for two and three years, only to have some idiot judge rule that the kids should be returned to the crack ho mother. The children didn't know any other parents, just knew they were being taken away to go live with some strange lunatic. Here they had gotten accustomed to healthy meals, clean, warm beds, nice clothes and shoes, books and toys and games, school -- only to have that ALL taken away as they are sent back into the abusive environment that they had originally been rescued from.

Way too much value is placed on genetics. We need to stop honoring women just because they can pop a baby out their ****. We need to be honoring the men and women who are equipped to do the hard job of parenting.

The other thing that turns people off is the trend toward open adoption. It is terrible in my opinion, because it gives too much control to the birthmother/father and confuses the child as to who their real mother is. Just my opinion. Obviously others disagree. Much easier to do a foreign adoption where you know the birthparents are not going to be interfering and you can get on with the business of nurturing your family.

[11thHour]

Originally Posted by chattypatty

Yeah, I know. It's so true. I have seen friends bond with a child or children for two and three years, only to have some idiot judge rule that the kids should be returned to the crack ho mother. The children didn't know any other parents, just knew they were being taken away to go live with some strange lunatic. Here they had gotten accustomed to healthy meals, clean, warm beds, nice clothes and shoes, books and toys and games, school -- only to have that ALL taken away as they are sent back into the abusive environment that they had originally been rescued from.

Way too much value is placed on genetics. We need to stop honoring women just because they can pop a baby out their ****. We need to be honoring the men and women who are equipped to do the hard job of parenting.

The other thing that turns people off is the trend toward open adoption. It is terrible in my opinion, because it gives too much control to the birthmother/father and confuses the child as to who their real mother is. Just my opinion. Obviously others disagree. Much easier to do a foreign adoption where you know the birthparents are not going to be interfering and you can get on with the business of nurturing your family.

Agreed on all points.

[tyvin]

I thank the OP for posting this thread as I was quite ignorant of why people adopt overseas and not in America. Now I understand.

[progmac]

couldn't the same basic argument be made substituting "foreign children" with "have their own children?" as in, why does anyone have new kids when there are other kids that need adopted?

[ray1945]

Originally Posted by omckenzie710

There are thousands of orphaned children in the U.S. that need loving homes. I think it's because children from foreign countries are thought to be "exotic"- they aren't just another ordinary American. If I were ever to adopt a child I would most certainly adopt one from the United States. I guess I just have more of a "my country comes first" point of view.

Why do some people insist on sticking their noses into other people's business??