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I have lived in ca. you see people in stores all the time in beach towns with little covering their swimsuits but a net. we have some ugly people in the world even completely covered. beauty or eyesore it is subjective.
to worry if I would get "dirty looks" who cares? just because you or I, use what we call common sense, doesn't mean everyone is as evolved. nor do they care what we think.
time and place is different for some. do the folks who worry about seeing a boob feeding baby want us to make some laws? do we just mass email new moms after delivery about the where's and when it is acceptable to feed their hungry child? all this for trouble for the possibility of the sight to see a baby breastfeeding. too much about nothing
I'm only speaking for the town I grew up in, I'm not going to pretend to be familiar with the cultural norms of hundreds of miles of coast line.
You should care if you get dirty looks because it should bother you if you're offending people. It is rude to walk into someone else's environment and impose your beliefs upon them. If I walked into a daycare and got squicked out my nursing moms, or to hawaii and was bothered by the bathing suits, the onus is obviously on me. That culture was there before I arrived, and I can't expect it to change for me.
Similarly, restaurants are places where people order off menus and eat off plates and have conversations over meals--it is ridiculous to walk into a restaurant and expect it to be anything else.
You can state till hell freezes over, and I will answer, some babies do not accept a bottle. Period. My kids are long past nursing, but one refused to take a bottle. I work in a pediatrician's office and I hear this nearly every day.
Feeding the baby before you go is a good idea, if it works out that way. I have to ask, do you have any kids? Did you breast feed them? It's pretty hard to feed a sleeping/sleepy baby. You may have reservations for 7 PM, and the baby won't wake up, period. So you have to grab and go.
It is totally inappropriate to even think that a nursing mother should leave the table to nurse her baby, whether she should go to the toilet, the car in -10 degree or +100 degree weather, or wherever. Why are you so interested in what someone else is doing at another table?
I don't think it is inappropriate at all for a nursing mother to leave the table in a Public Restaurant.
Yes I had a child. I breast fed, but never at a public table in a restaurant. - I brought bottles
I am only interested in what someone else does at another table if it is distracting to my meal. If a woman is CLEARLY breast feeding near my table it would fall into the distraction category. I always thought - why didn't she plan for this
If my child was asleep "I would not grab it and go" to any restaurant. A child is not a purse I would cancel my reservation or call a babysitter.
I don't think it's the exposure part of it that grosses people out.. it's the sanitation issues in a restaurant where you're enjoying your food you are paying for. Everyone is paying not only for their food but their dining experience.. and not everyone wants to see kids sucking on a tit..
I think you should be more worried about people not washing their hands in a restaurant, than the one woman you are going to see every 5 years breastfeeding, as the chances are your waiter/chef probably didn't wash their hands. The chances of you being infected by anything in breastmilk from across the room is slim to none.
I'm only speaking for the town I grew up in, I'm not going to pretend to be familiar with the cultural norms of hundreds of miles of coast line.
You should care if you get dirty looks because it should bother you if you're offending people. It is rude to walk into someone else's environment and impose your beliefs upon them. If I walked into a daycare and got squicked out my nursing moms, or to hawaii and was bothered by the bathing suits, the onus is obviously on me. That culture was there before I arrived, and I can't expect it to change for me.
Similarly, restaurants are places where people order off menus and eat off plates and have conversations over meals--it is ridiculous to walk into a restaurant and expect it to be anything else.
again we are presuming everyone knows if their actions are rude or not. many people either don't think it is rude to start with and or don't care if it is. all my disgust about their "rudeness" is not gonna change that it happens. one man's miss manners is not always another man's. there in lies the rub. if you are bothered by a breast feeder call the management, it is then up to the management to either tell the breast feeder to stop or leave, or tell the complainant to get over it. if we don't like how they handle it, then we are free to leave.
I would love to walk in a world where I saw only people doing what I approved of and wore the kinds of things I think are right, but that ain't gonna happen. I mean really it is a boob and a baby, big deal.
Wow, there are a lot of assumptions there...I never said you should breastfeed in the bathroom (no where in this whole thread did I say that!). Nor did I say seeing a breast is going to scar or warp a child. Heck, I walked in on my parents as a kid once, and even THAT didn't scar or warp me.
However, it's still not something I would want to see again!!!!
Sorry, I shouldn't have quoted your post when I replied. I was was actually addressing a lot opinions expressed here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by boiseguy
I don't think it's the exposure part of it that grosses people out.. it's the sanitation issues in a restaurant where you're enjoying your food you are paying for. Everyone is paying not only for their food but their dining experience.. and not everyone wants to see kids sucking on a tit..
Changing a diaper is a sanitary issue. Breastfeed isn't not unsanitary.
Agreed, it's fairly unimportant in the scheme of things. Like you suggested, if it was obvious enough to be disrupting my meal, I would call the wait staff over to deal with it. I am not the restaurant police, and I'm aware of that.
My hope in the past 28374029834 posts () was to convey why other people would not think it was appropriate or would be offended by it, and encourage nursing moms to put a little extra thought into how/when/where they feed their baby.
I work at a 2 star restaurant and in Chicago, that is pretty good.
I will tell you right now that if you went to the owner to complain about a mother that was breastfeeding, he would do nothing. If you kept complaining, he would refund your money, tell you to leave and please don't come back. He loves children and spots bull#### a mile away.
A new mother is just learning. She is use to being free and has to get use to her baby and breastfeeding. If she is nervous, her milk will not come down and her baby will get frustrated which will make her more frustrated and her milk will never come down.
Please leave her alone, let her enjoy HER dinner and get off of her back.
She will be as discreet as she knows how to be and if that is not good enough for you, then in my opinion, you will be the one asked to leave the restaurant.
If you want to talk about stupid things like her milk being diseased, it just shows that you have no business eating out to begin with.
Go live in a bubble.
I'm addressing all of the critical posters and not just the one I quoted.
It's been 20+ years since I breastfed, so it's entirely possible there are some products out there that were not around when I had my kids. However, I've never heard of these "breast covers" and I don't see much need for them in any event. One's shirt makes a great cover-up as it is. My kids didn't much care for a blanket over their heads when they were nursing; I tried that. I've probably said this a dozen times on this thread now, there is very little breast exposed once the baby is latched on. There is probably less exposed than on the customer who is wearing a skimpy halter top.
They are a nice product. They don't lay directly on top of the baby's face. Think of it like a tent. They can breathe just fine. Nonetheless, they didn't start making these products without a reason. If they didn't sell, they wouldn't exist so there must be a reason why these cover ups are available.
And I don't mind if you use your shirt or have temporary exposure. That's not really the issue. The issue is with a very small percentage of women who just let it all hang out. Granted, these women are very rare but there are some granola moms who get a little nazi about breast feeding in public and don't care if they just let their breast hang out without making any attempt to cover it up. Again, I am saying the vast majority (90% +) of women who breast feed in public do so respectfully and not like this. I don't have issues with women breast feeding in public if they make an effort to be discrete.
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) was to convey why other people would not think it was appropriate or would be offended by it, and encourage nursing moms to put a little extra thought into how/when/where they feed their baby.
