Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's hard to believe, but the language of sexual violation has long been used by those who feel that birthing women are often subject to the uncaring -- or even incompetent -- whims of medical professionals
Maybe the bottom line is to make absolutely certain that you and the doctor are on the same page BEFORE it's time for delivery.
My daughter and I shared the same OB. He had just delivered my youngest 13 months before delivering my grandson. My young one and I were in the delivery room. The doctor and I talked about football in the midst as my oldest was screaming for me to make it (the pain) stop. I reminded her at this point, there was nothing I could do. Once they are in there, they have to come out. The doctor seemed so non-chalant about the birth and intent on football that twice I told him, "Don't drop that baby.". Twice he replied, "I won't drop the baby.". He didn't. (Mind you, this is coming from the same doctor that, 13 months prior, when my epidural took only on one side said, "Well, at least you will only feel HALF the pain.". He was already on my bad side.
Anyway, out of the three births, both daughters and a grandson, I did not see anything that could possibly be construed as what anyone would call rape.
It is obviously young mothers who are using that word to describe childbirth, and I think that they go into pregnancy and childbirth rather idealistically. Perhaps they are offended that the doctor and staff aren't overwhelmed with satisfaction and pride that they made it to the final process of bringing new life into the world as the mother is, and perhaps she is miffed that on such a momentous day, the world doesn't stop and take notice. Maybe she's offended that all they are doing, is their job. They aren't emotionally invested, and on top of it all, they don't ask her for her opinion during the event. After all, she SHOULD be the center of attention (*sarcasm*).
Reality: There's a baby working hard to be born. The main concern for the doctor and staff is to see to it that happens and all are well when it's over.
From what I have been reading most of these women who are tripping on this 'birth rape' stuff seem to be Soon-to-be moms who mostly planned to give birth at home,
use a midwife in an out-of-hospital setting, or
had an elaborate birthing plan.
From what I have read most of them feel their wishes were not honored, or even thought of. They seem to feel they were taken advantage of somehow, but I can tell you when it is time to get the baby out... it has to be done. It isn't always the way they wanted it done, it might not be possible to follow that birthing plan or have the baby at home. In the reading, several said their midwives lost control of the situation or overestimated their own abilities and had to send them to the hospital.
However they ended up in the situation, they were not prepared for what happened. They seem to feel like things were done to them to "punish" them for wanting to have a home birth or midwife.... necessary things that might just have had to be done.
It is still the pregnant woman and her partner's responsibility to make sure they pick a situation that fits their desires AND their needs. Not everyone can have a baby at home safely. Sometimes C-sections are necessary for the mother's and baby's safety. It is just a fact.
It is also a fact that that OB might not care as much about your health as he does about his golf game. They might want to induce mom and get the baby delivered before 4pm on Friday. Who knows? It is still the woman and her partner's responsibility to ask around about this doctor. How many horror stories have you heard about them? Even 1 would make me shy away. Where I live there are a limited number of OB/GYN's so when you find one you like, you stay with them if possible.
My first baby was easy as pie. I still wish I hadn't had an epidural though, that made recovery alot harder.
Second one didn't have a soft spot when she delivered. The OB had actually gone to scrub and they gave me that yucky orange stuff to drink before an emergency section. Just as they wheeled in the table, guess who put in an appearance? She crowned!! Literally I was saved from a section by minutes. They got the OB back in there and he just caught her. Then we had birth defect trauma to deal with since she had her saggital suture fused and no soft spot.
At 6 months she had open cranium surgery to make her a soft spot.
When I saw this the first thing I thought of was this :
Is a bad hair cut called hair cut rape? They didn't honor your wishes and cut your hair the way you wanted. They might even have pulled her hair too hard.
They might want to induce mom and get the baby delivered before 4pm on Friday.
So funny that you say that. I was born on a holiday weekend (Labor Day, not something like Christmas) and my mom was supposed to be discharged ON labor day but the doctor didn't want to come in to check or something so my mom got 3 full days in the hospital with me in a time when you really only got 2. She was SOOO happy for that extra day!
This is something I've never understood. Besides the fact that a c-section is major surgery and pretty scary, why did you get pregnant? For you to have an "enlightening text book" birthing scenario or to have a baby? You can't control what goes on (for the VERY most part) of a pregnancy, let alone the birthing process. You can try, but the baby doesn't always cooperate.
My SIL was so upset that she had a c-section with her first - her midwife didn't believe in ANY interventions (stethoscope ONLY) so MW let SIL go 3 weeks over due with a breech until her concern set in and sent SIL to the hospital for an ultrasound. Apparently the MW mistook the head for the rear-end. SIL ended up depressed for months, felt she was robbed of some "right" that SHE was owed. Took no consolation in having a healthy baby until her best friend delivered vaginally at 39 weeks and baby ended up in NICU for a month due to meconium aspiration. Woke her "poor me" behind right up.
I'm surprised (and relieved) that at 3 weeks over due your SIL's baby did not suffer meconium aspiration as well. I was under the impression that after 14 or 15 days the bowels start working no matter what.
Rape occurs when the rapist intends to inflict harm on his victim, and becuase he intends to make his victim - a victim. For the purpose of victimizing her. It is an intentional act of violence, perpetrated BECAUSE it is violent.
What happens when a doctor deals with an emergency trauma situation, whether it is violent, or feel invasive, or not - is NOT an act of violence. It is an act of attempting to give life to one person, while saving the life of another.
The whole thing is preposterous.
If I say, "No, dr., I do not want a cervical check" and he still shoves his hand into my vagina, it is RAPE.
WOW! Give me a break! Birth Rape??? What a bunch of whiners! After my first child was born I was belly aching to the OB/GYN about how "hard" it was and how "tired" I was (Poor me, right?) and he looked at me and said "Mrstewart, why do you think they call it LABOR?"
The thought of equating child birth with rape is ludicrous and honestly, seems like self victimization Sounds like some new psychobabble and some folks will make a mint selling ridiculous books on the topic...
**steps down from soap box**
You have a lot to learn about rape, patients' rights and doctors' responsibilities.
ITS CHILDBIRTH.
Sometimes a hand goes in.
Getting the baby out is something that HAS to happen.
Getting raped is not.
Wtf will people come up with next...
Next time my mom yells at me should I call it mind/ear rape?
No, rape is inserting an object into an orifice against the owner's will. Period. It can be a penis, a hand, a finger, a broomstick, a bottle or a bat....
Yes, sometimes the doctor puts his whole hand in, and uses instruments. Babies don't always get in the right position for delivery. They have to be turned, etc. legs and arms have to be pushed back in..the cord loops around the throat, and then tightens, there are a lot of bad things. Women used to die often during childbirth or the baby suffocated because it couldn't be delivered fast enough.
Having a baby is a wonderous thing. But it can also be dangerous. There are times when the doctor MUST do things to save his patient.
No, ALL OF THE TIME, the doctor MUST have INFORMED CONSENT in order to touch the patient. If the patient says NO, doctor MUST STOP.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
(Poor me, right?
) and he looked at me and said "Mrstewart, why do you think they call it LABOR?"
Sounds like some new psychobabble and some folks will make a mint selling ridiculous books on the topic...
