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Sometimes you think you WILL be able to quit smoking, though, and then find out you really can't.
There is no "can't" in quitting smoking. You can't lift a 2 ton truck but you absolutely can stop buying cigarettes, stop putting them in your mouth, stop puffing away. There are a thousand methods to help you quit, as well.
I'm sorry to be so austere, but if a person is trying to get pregnant and is told that they need to quit smoking in order to do so but continue smoking anyway, then they want to smoke a lot more than you want a baby. And personally, I think choosing a cigarette over your child is a sign that you're not properly equipped to be a parent.
There is no "can't" in quitting smoking. You can't lift a 2 ton truck but you absolutely can stop buying cigarettes, stop putting them in your mouth, stop puffing away. There are a thousand methods to help you quit, as well.
I'm sorry to be so austere, but if a person is trying to get pregnant and is told that they need to quit smoking in order to do so but continue smoking anyway, then they want to smoke a lot more than you want a baby. And personally, I think choosing a cigarette over your child is a sign that you're not properly equipped to be a parent.
I can lift a two-ton truck.
You are correct, "can't" is not the right word. It is difficult. It is not impossible.
I disagree that it's "choosing a cigarette over your child", although that makes for a nice dramatic turn of phrase on a message board. It is taking a risk, though, and in spite of all the things that can happen to a pregnant smoker or that create higher risks in pregnancy compared to that of non-smokers, the odds are still on your side that the baby will be fine.
I'm sorry you feel I was not properly equipped to be a parent. Of course, what you, who do not know me or my daughter, may feel did not make a lick of difference. Despite my former addiction to nicotine, my daughter grew up to be quite a compassionate, logical person who is more intelligent than most of the other 20-year-olds I know. She speaks three languages fluently, including Mandarin, and just returned from four months in China, where, apparently, EVERYONE smokes. She, however, does not smoke, and probably never will. She's also very open-minded about people who are different from her, and tries very hard not to be judgmental toward others. For the child of someone who was not, in your judgment, equipped to be a parent, she turned out pretty well. Must've been an accident.
I think that a lot of women truly intend to quit smoking when they are trying to conceive and/or when they first find out that they are pregnant but they rationalize that they don't really haveto quit until the third trimester when low birth weight, breathing issues, prematurity become an issue for the baby.
Then when the third trimester rolls around they realize how addicted they are and they just never quite get around to quitting.
Last edited by springfieldva; 02-17-2012 at 02:51 PM..
I think that a lot of women truly intend to quit smoking when they are trying to conceive and/or when they first find out that they are pregnant but they rationalize that they don't really haveto quit until the third trimester when low birth weight, breathing issues, prematurity become an issue for the baby.
Then when the third trimester rolls around they realize how addicted they are and they just never quite get around to quitting.
Yes, you think it's going to be easier to quit than it really is. With any addiction, the addiction must protect itself and will cause you to lie to yourself (and others, of course).
The thing is, too, that those things such as you list, while very possible and scientifically proven to be risks, really don't happen as often as non-smokers wish or believe that they do, and people know this. MOST children of smokers do not have breathing problems, are not low birth weight, are not premature. People who smoke know other smokers who have had healthy children. If the negative effects were something more obvious and common, then smokers might have more incentive to quit, but they aren't.
Even worse things than smoking while pregnant that horrify most people do not always have the outcomes that people expect. My sister was for 20 years an ER nurse on the night shift at a hospital in a poor, high-crime area. They would frequently get women coming in to the ER, in labor, addicted to crack, never saw a doctor during their pregnancy let alone follow any sort of nutritional plan or take vitamins, and 99% of the time the baby would be healthy. Then some woman who never took a sip of coffee during pregnancy and did everything "right" would give birth to a child with a deformed hand or something.
It is best not to smoke while pregnant. No doubt about that. But when it gets to the point where people are treating smoking women on the same level as child molesters and people who sell the country's state secrets, you have to wonder just how great a parent THOSE types of people will be.
Yes, you think it's going to be easier to quit than it really is. With any addiction, the addiction must protect itself and will cause you to lie to yourself (and others, of course).
The thing is, too, that those things such as you list, while very possible and scientifically proven to be risks, really don't happen as often as non-smokers wish or believe that they do, and people know this. MOST children of smokers do not have breathing problems, are not low birth weight, are not premature. People who smoke know other smokers who have had healthy children. If the negative effects were something more obvious and common, then smokers might have more incentive to quit, but they aren't.
Even worse things than smoking while pregnant that horrify most people do not always have the outcomes that people expect. My sister was for 20 years an ER nurse on the night shift at a hospital in a poor, high-crime area. They would frequently get women coming in to the ER, in labor, addicted to crack, never saw a doctor during their pregnancy let alone follow any sort of nutritional plan or take vitamins, and 99% of the time the baby would be healthy. Then some woman who never took a sip of coffee during pregnancy and did everything "right" would give birth to a child with a deformed hand or something.
It is best not to smoke while pregnant. No doubt about that. But when it gets to the point where people are treating smoking women on the same level as child molesters and people who sell the country's state secrets, you have to wonder just how great a parent THOSE types of people will be.
As I mentioned before, I quit smoking when I found out that I was expecting my first baby and I made healthy choices throughout my pregnancy (avoiding caffeine, cough/cold medicines and of course alcohol).
But I wound up having to have a quick C-section a couple of weeks early because of decels in the baby's heart rate.
In my case, I did everything right but still wound up with a complicated delivery. Luckily my son was o.k. Today he is a bright, healthy, happy preteen.
I sometimes wonder if things would have turned out differently for him if I had been a smoker during that complicated delivery. Would my son be here today? Would he be healthy? I don't know.
Last edited by springfieldva; 02-18-2012 at 12:32 PM..
I've known plenty. I'm related to plenty (the part of my extended family whom my kids have never met). They always seemed to be the ones who had 'complications'. Their babies seemed more problematic. The kids seem to grow into inferior adults: smaller (alternately, obese), less attractive, with subtle cognitive and behavioral challenges. The ugly word for the poor kids would be 'losers'. Nobody asked to be born a loser.
What a horrible and selfish thing, to do something which will doom your child to a lifetime of inferiority.
If you want to give birth to losers, then by all means, smoke like a chimney. Chances are, the kids will not have noticeable birth defects. They probably won't be 'retarded'. They just won't look as good as the other kids. Their faces will be a little more lopsided. They will have a harder time doing math.
It's hard to separate the smoking from other factors like inferior genetics, drinking, improper diet, exposure to harmful chemicals, exposure to smoke after birth. I do have some friends from aristocratic families, though, who also have cousins who smoke and drink (in the Deep South, families seem to be divided into the wholesome healthy side and the degenerate substance-using side). These particular smokers eat 'Southern Gourmet', which is a reasonably healthy diet, and definitely do not have inferior genetics. But the degenerate sides of those families reliably produce crops of little losers. On the wholesome sides, the kids are pretty-much perfect: Gorgeous jocks who face the hard choice: Medicine, Law, or MBA (in order to helm the family corporations). The difference, in those families, between the offspring of smokers and those of non-smokers, is like night and day.
Just because a kid cannot clinically be labeled 'retarded' or 'handicapped', as the result of his mother's smoking, does not mean that he will be all that he would have been had she not smoked.
My mom did but she wasn't a chain smoker or anything. It was a social activity in her day. I've known a few who smoked an occasional cigarette during pregnancy in more modern times, but nothing regular or heavy duty. No problems that I know of and no reason for me to get all judgy.
I have never smoked, so, for me, it wasn't an issue. I do have many friends who smoked while preggo. Most that I know were in the late 90's, & early 00's. I had friend whose girl was born a few mos ago, who smoked during her whole 2011 pregnancy. I'm not condoning or condemning any of it, just stating what my friends did.
I don't think it is helpful to be judgy towards pregnant women who smoke. But I think it is important not to minimize the health risks of smoking during pregnancy.
What's unhealthy for mom can not be healthy for the baby.
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