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Also if you don't like the brand of condoms you use, try a different kind. We used the gold circle coin condoms for years. Not sure if they still make those, but you can try some different ones (try lubed vs. non-lubed) and see which one you like the best.
Personally, I enjoyed how much cleaner sex was with a condom. No yuckiness dribbling out (yes, TMI, sorry!)
OP, I am confused by your post. I know plenty of married people who use condoms because they cannot use hormonal birth control and do not want to get pregnant. I am really NOT understanding why just because you're married means you shouldn't???
I am married. We have been together almost a total of ten years. We still use two forms of birth control at all times. That's how much I do not want to get pregnant. I am pretty much built for birthing so I don't want any OOPS. I have no problem with it because I'd rather use a condom than hear a baby cry.
You can also try rhythm method. I'm not sure how accurate basal temperatures are, although I have a friend who successfully used it to avoid conception and then to conceive later. However, I purchased several hundred ovulation test strips (quite cheap, about 100 strips for $20 or so from Ebay?). Very very accurate at pinpointing the 2-4 day unsafe window. Even with irregular cycle.
OP: you've got limited options, so do what you've got to do; you're certainly not the only married couple to use condoms. An option to consider are ovulation predictor strips, which is a bit of a misnomer because they actually detect the luteinizing hormone surge that happens usually 12-48 hours before ovulation. Super easy to use: just pee on the test strip in the afternoon or early evening, and read the results; a dark line, or a line that matches the control (depends on the brand) will tell you when your LH level is detectable. The test strips are pretty cheap if you buy in bulk, or you can spring for a digital monitor; not cheap (start at $150, plus the cost the test strips)... but still cheaper than an unplanned pregnancy.
Now, the test strips are intended to be used to help with conception, not prevent it, as the window of time between the LH surge and ovulation is not always exact... and if your cycle is a bit irregular you might miss the LH surge. So, to prevent pregnancy, you'd be wise to combine it with an FAM technique (like basal body temp monitoring), and also allow a wider window of time to use a barrier method; after 48 hours you might be past the peak fertility window, but still fertile. The Mr. needs to keep it wrapped for a whole week after the LH surge. It's either that or he finally bucks up and gets a vasectomy, because my baby factory is closed for business now.
We use a combination of "natural family planning" and pull-out. It's worked 100% for us since we committed to this method. I didn't like hormonal BC, and most other options are just too much of a hassle for us. HOWEVER, we are philosophically fine with having another baby if this method fails. This has been our primary BC for 10+ years. Our pregnancies were intentional, and we timed them spot on (one try...TMI?)
Just based on menstration, how irregular are your periods? How comfortable/confident is your husband in his pull-out skills?
Even if it's a bit off schedule, how devastating would it be if you got pregnant?
IME, those are the 3 biggest factors to the pullout/natural method working.
Try the natural skin condoms, they are more expensive but by far feel better. I've been using the pull out method for over 10yrs with success but there is always that risk and it don't work for everyone. The thin film of spermicide works well to. I suppose you could always just take plan B the next morning after unprotected sex now that it is available over the counter.
Second this, from a male perspective. Use the ones that fit loosely with a ring of elastic at the base. In terms of sensation for the man, wet flesh is wet flesh, and the interior of the natural skin condoms is wet flesh.
Why do you feel like a bad wife? What have you done wrong? Nothing.
You have physical and medical constraints that limit your options of birth control. That's life. Learn to accept it. Your husband also.
That's called being an adult and being married.
yes.
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