Condoms in a marriage...? (years, women, methods, health)

[ohhwanderlust]

There's got to be another way.

I'm 25, happily married and monogamous for 4 years, and yet we still use condoms, and I feel like a bad wife for it.

Here's the deal:

I've mapped out our financial and career trajectory (of which we're well on-track), and we've projected that we'll be completely ready for a child in 2 years (from now), in accordance to the conditions we've set that we need to meet or exceed before we're fit to reproduce.

That time is not now.

I've gone through the gamut of options:

Hormonal methods = extreme side-effects, to the point of contemplating suicide. Even with the extremely low-dose/non-systemic kinds, and many different ratios of progesterone to estrogen. They're all out.

Anything requiring spermicide = ouch. Any further details on that would be TMI.

IUD = my uterus is too small for even the Skyla, which is hormonal anyway..

Pull-out method = not effective

Fertility awareness = I've been charting this, even using a Lady Comp device (still using condoms, this is just to gather preliminary data right now), but I seem to be too irregular...it seems like I might ovulate more than once per cycle. So I'm opting against chancing it.

Abstinence = how many married couples indefinitely abstain from sex? Mentioning this because I know someone will bring this up.

That leaves condoms. We both hate them, but I am not ready to drop everything in life and have a baby right this minute. There are things we want to do in life first and ducks to get in a row.

I feel like we're the only the only married couple in the world who still uses condoms. Are there any other possible options?

[ohhwanderlust]

Apologies if this is in the wrong section. I didn't see a women's health section, so this seemed to be the closest option. I didn't want this in the Relationship section since I'm focused more on the birth control aspect than the marriage aspect.

[BirdieBelle]

You are not the only ones.

[daliowa]

Planned Parenthood has a long list of options.
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control

Does your gyn have any ideas?

[reneeh63]

I'm not sure why condoms should be considered so terrible? Maybe because it's the only method where instead of the woman handling all the negatives of bc the guy has to with a condom? I mean if you've decided nothing else works and that you don't want to get pregnant then go for it. Two years really isn't that long - he can handle it - and if he can't then reconsider having kids because there's a lot of stuff he'll have to put up with then that's not always fun!

[mo8414]

Try the natural skin condoms, they are more expensive but by far feel better. I've been using the pull out method for over 10yrs with success but there is always that risk and it don't work for everyone. The thin film of spermicide works well to. I suppose you could always just take plan B the next morning after unprotected sex now that it is available over the counter.

[HighFlyingBird]

With your small uterus, irregular periods and sensitivity to hormones...have you talked to an OBGYN about your fertility?

[ohhwanderlust]

Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird

With your small uterus, irregular periods and sensitivity to hormones...have you talked to an OBGYN about your fertility?

Yes, I've been seeing the same provider. She doesn't think it's a problem, especially considering that my mother had all the same issues, and she'd get pregnant just looking at a baby stroller. haha

[MoonBeam33]

Have you tried the diaphragm without spermicide? Maybe in combination with pull out?

[PanthersPanthers]

Geez, my husband and I used condoms for years during marriage. The only times I got pregnant were when we didn't use them. We have 4 children together. He has a vasectomy now.

Many women don't want to use hormonal birth control, or can't due to health issues. I don't think using condoms is uncommon at all, and it doesn't make you a bad wife.