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Guys who act like a-holes will attract a certain type of girl, it's true. That's not really the kind you should be looking for anyway. They always come with a long list of issues and are attracted to that sort of guy because it fills a need for drama. Is that really what you want? There are nice girls who are attracted to nice guys. It happens every day.
Actually I'm tired of the a$$hole guys that think they can be rude, cocky & just all around ********s. As the other poster said, those guys attract a certain type of woman- and generally they deserve each other. Seriously don't stop being nice- just make sure you're confident, fun, & interesting to be with. I believe in the phrase "like attracts like" ......hang in there
i swear, it seems every person who's got an abrasive personality has more success with people than folks like me. not just success with women but people in general. for instance one of my housemates is a bit of a total prick to everybody (though I'd say we're friends with each other), yet girls are all over him and people confide in him when they want to talk about personal problems. what the ****?!?!?!? why the hell is it that it's always people like that who seem to attract folks?
i should just start being a douche to every single person I meet. maybe that'll work. god damn it.
yes this is a somewhat alcohol-fueled post.
God, not another one of these "Why do women love bad boys and not nice guys like me...." threads.
Women don't ignore nice guys. They just like men who relish their lives, say what they think, and have backbones. Doesn't mean they're not nice guys. They just don't treat women with the kind of deference one would give an annoyed tarantula.
Let's look at it this way, using ice cream as an example. If you polled 100 people, how many would choose vanilla as their favorite flavor?
Not saying this is you, Hurri, but a lot of self-proclaimed nice guys seem to be shy, sulky, miserable, or some combination of these. Those are unattractive traits. I know many people who are nice who are also happy, funny, and charming. My cousin is the sweetest, kindest person I know (after her mother, my aunt). She's married--to a man who's kind of doofy looking, believe it or not, but just as cool and nice as she is--and both of them have lots of friends. I love being around them. I think most everybody does.
It's not the niceness that is giving you problems, Hurri.
Not saying this is you, Hurri, but a lot of self-proclaimed nice guys seem to be shy, sulky, miserable, or some combination of these. Those are unattractive traits. I know many people who are nice who are also happy, funny, and charming. My cousin is the sweetest, kindest person I know (after her mother, my aunt). She's married--to a man who's kind of doofy looking, believe it or not, but just as cool and nice as she is--and both of them have lots of friends. I love being around them. I think most everybody does.
It's not the niceness that is giving you problems, Hurri.
Yeah. Plenty of "nice guys" are not really nice at all. Also, women don't want a push over.
i don't think a person's being nice as anything to do with it, it's all the other stuff that matters - what they look like, their personality, etc etc.
nice people can get just as much attention as the not-so-nice people.
It seems like nice becomes the forced compliment or label people give to people who do not have anything going for them or any noticeable positive qualities. For people who are actually nice to others but are overlooked, they might be shy, quiet, overly bright or dim, calm(often misinterpreted as uninterested and/or boring), actually uninterested and/or boring, etc...They go unnoticed because the trash talking joker you meet is more memorable and noticeable then the person who simply says hello or offers a meek olive branch. Try not to take things personally, OP. You're in D.C., a place notorious for friendless-ness and people walking over each other.
God, not another one of these "Why do women love bad boys and not nice guys like me...." threads.
Women don't ignore nice guys. They just like men who relish their lives, say what they think, and have backbones. Doesn't mean they're not nice guys. They just don't treat women with the kind of deference one would give an annoyed tarantula.
Let's look at it this way, using ice cream as an example. If you polled 100 people, how many would choose vanilla as their favorite flavor?
I get what you're saying as vanilla is an idiom for plain or boring but as an ice cream flavor it is tasty.
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