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Psychologist appointment went pretty well she reports, but she did not discuss with me the details and I respect her privacy.
I guess the saddest thing in my mind, is feeling helpless to protect her. When you are a parent, your job is to protect them from all the "scary monsters" so they feel safe. I fee like I have failed her, because her scary monsters exist inside herself. I hate seeing her in pain. As a parent, it is a feeling of being ineffective, helpless. I'll be re-reading the advice here, and try to apply it.
The most important thing with her therapy sessions is that she feels comfortable with the therapist. Maybe after another session or two, ask her and make sure she is comfortable with the person, or it will not help her any. If she isn't comfortable find her someone else. My mother took forever, it seemed, to find a therapist she trusted and felt comfortable with.
My mother forced me into therapy when I was 16, and I didn't feel comfortable talking to the guy so I think I said hello, how about this weather and then goodbye at the end of the session. I didn't really need therapy though, since I was just going through normal teenage stuff and settled down on my own after about 6 or 8 months.
Psychologist appointment went pretty well she reports, but she did not discuss with me the details and I respect her privacy.
I guess the saddest thing in my mind, is feeling helpless to protect her. When you are a parent, your job is to protect them from all the "scary monsters" so they feel safe. I fee like I have failed her, because her scary monsters exist inside herself. I hate seeing her in pain. As a parent, it is a feeling of being ineffective, helpless. I'll be re-reading the advice here, and try to apply it.
As I said above, you are a good parent, you are doing the right things!
But these things can happen no matter who is the parent or what they do.
Also it can take the psychologist many sessions to figure out what is going on. The psychologist might be just as perplexed as you as to why she is doing these things. Some things take awhile to "figure out".
I'll share something with you which might help you deal with this...
Many moons ago I was promoted to the job of manager where I worked. A long time experienced manager called me into his office and gave me a "talking to". He said while I was exceptionally good at doing various tasks at work, my job as manager is not to do those tasks, rather to provide the tools for the employees so they can do those tasks.
He told me I "worked for the employees". I was there to provide everything necessary so they could do their jobs. For example if an employee's job was to cut pieces of paper, my job was to see that the employee had scissors. (If they don't have scissors, how can they do their job?)
Anyway perhaps you are in a similar boat? Your job would be to wait and see what the psychologist determines needs to be done, then see those things are done. That is when you would "fly into action".
Maybe further testing would need to be done by another medical professional. So your job would be to arrange for that, etc. See that gets done.
Or maybe your daughter will be prescribed medication. Then your job would be to get that prescription filled, read the drug interaction and side effect warnings, and keep an eye on that.
And then the tricky part... That is discussing these things with her psychologist. On the one hand, it is very good you "respect her privacy". Good that she can discuss anything in the world she wants with the psychologist and know it will not be instantly telegrammed to you. And that things will be kept confidential if she so chooses.
But on the other hand you are the parent and would need to know about prescriptions and further testing which should be done. And would need to know what the diagnosis is so you could take further steps as necessary.
And then there is the problem that she "thinks people are talking about her"...
Perhaps you could wait until the psychologist calls you? Then ask if your discussion should be with your daughter listening in - maybe she could pick up a phone extension or if cell phone place it on speaker phone? Or you both go to one of her sessions, then you and the psychologist talk in front of your daughter for 5 or 10 minutes, then you leave and they have their regular session?
And then at that time reiterate that you don't need to know any details of what they are discussing. That you respect your daughters privacy. But that you would like to know if there is anything you can do which would be helpful. Express your feelings of being helpless, etc. Say what you said above.
Then let the psychologist figure it all out! That is what they get paid for...
I know what it's feels like when your child is suffering and you don't know how to fix it. I wish I could think of the name of a disorder to describe what she is going through. There may be one related to the fact that she seems overly empathetic, I just can't remember the name at the moment. Maybe you could google "too much empathy" and see what you come up with.
I'm glad she is not self harming at the moment - even if it isn't for the best reason, it's still better than if she were.
It sounds like your daughter is so intelligent and so empathetic and sensitive that it is very difficult for her to cope with the feelings that come with those qualities.
I hope her psychotherapist is a good one and can teach her some techniques that will help her cope. Some therapists are better than others. If by chance this one doesn't help, don't give up there are good ones out there. Sometimes it takes a lot of persistance to get your teen the help they need.
I had some issues with my son and anxiety and it took a LOT of research and persistence to get him the help he needed. We finally found it and I will be forever grateful. Who sound like a wonderful caring parents. I pray that you will find the help you and your daughter need to get through this.
Psychologist appointment went pretty well she reports, but she did not discuss with me the details and I respect her privacy.
I guess the saddest thing in my mind, is feeling helpless to protect her. When you are a parent, your job is to protect them from all the "scary monsters" so they feel safe. I fee like I have failed her, because her scary monsters exist inside herself. I hate seeing her in pain. As a parent, it is a feeling of being ineffective, helpless. I'll be re-reading the advice here, and try to apply it.
You haven't failed her and you aren't ineffective. Parents who aren't there for their children don't take the time to go online seeking answers to what is going on with their child. I've been there. I felt helpless too.
I'm so happy to hear that she feels the appointment went well. YOu have received a lot of good advice here. Just consider the things you've read hear. Listen to what your daughter has to say when she wants to talk. Let her know you are there for her, but allow her a little bit of space too. Go with your instincts but educate youself as well.
I read where sombody mentioned the possibility of ADD, she may have some of those tendencies. It crossed my mind when I read your first post, but it didn't stand out enough for me to mention it.
Something else that occured to me when reading another post - when somebody said she is a rainbow with a broader spectrum (which I thought was brilliant by the way) is that there is something called spectrum disorder or something spectrum disorder. I don't know what it is, or if it even has anything to do with what your daughter is experiencing, but if it were me, I'd follow up on any "lead" that I come across. But, be careful not to become overly obsessed either - it's easy to do. Be there. Be interested. Do what you can. But, don't forget that you need to take care of YOU as well! You won't do her any good if you were yourself out, or worry yourself to the point of becoming a basket case!
You haven't failed her and you aren't ineffective. Parents who aren't there for their children don't take the time to go online seeking answers to what is going on with their child. I've been there. I felt helpless too.
I'm so happy to hear that she feels the appointment went well. YOu have received a lot of good advice here. Just consider the things you've read hear. Listen to what your daughter has to say when she wants to talk. Let her know you are there for her, but allow her a little bit of space too. Go with your instincts but educate youself as well.
I read where sombody mentioned the possibility of ADD, she may have some of those tendencies. It crossed my mind when I read your first post, but it didn't stand out enough for me to mention it.
Something else that occured to me when reading another post - when somebody said she is a rainbow with a broader spectrum (which I thought was brilliant by the way) is that there is something called spectrum disorder or something spectrum disorder. I don't know what it is, or if it even has anything to do with what your daughter is experiencing, but if it were me, I'd follow up on any "lead" that I come across. But, be careful not to become overly obsessed either - it's easy to do. Be there. Be interested. Do what you can. But, don't forget that you need to take care of YOU as well! You won't do her any good if you were yourself out, or worry yourself to the point of becoming a basket case!
The spectrum disorder thing is Autism Spectrum and I do NOT think it is applicable to this case, coincidental verbiage notwithstanding.
Also, most talk-therapy providers I've known do at some point have sessions where the parent/spouse/etc of the patient is present and involved. It's just not all the time. You might ask, if this has not been brought up, if and when it will occur. Let the doctor know that you really do want to be involved and help in any way you can.
Best wishes, I hope you're both on the road to better things. <3
The spectrum disorder thing is Autism Spectrum and I do NOT think it is applicable to this case, coincidental verbiage notwithstanding.
Also, most talk-therapy providers I've known do at some point have sessions where the parent/spouse/etc of the patient is present and involved. It's just not all the time. You might ask, if this has not been brought up, if and when it will occur. Let the doctor know that you really do want to be involved and help in any way you can.
Best wishes, I hope you're both on the road to better things. <3
You're right. I came across the entire term after I posted that and realized it wasn't related. I stand corrected.
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