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Because she recognized that you had a serious problem. Your parents should have taken this seriously. Guidance counselors generally don't go calling the parents unless they NEED to.
Because she recognized that you had a serious problem. Your parents should have taken this seriously. Guidance counselors generally don't go calling the parents unless they NEED to.
But hopefully if I do end up talking to my campus counselor, they won't phone my parents? I'm already 21 years old.
"Psychological abuse does not always lead to physical abuse, but physical abuse in domestic relationships is nearly always preceded and accompanied by psychological abuse."
" A 2007 study of Spanish college students aged 18–27 [12] found that psychological aggression (as measured by the Conflict Tactics Scale) is so pervasive in dating relationships that it can be regarded as a normalized element of dating, and that women are substantially more likely to exhibit psychological aggression. Similar findings have been reported in other studies."
"Numerous studies done between the 1980 and 1994[1][16][17][18][19][20] report that lesbian relationships have higher overall rates of interpersonal aggression (including psychological aggression/emotional abuse) than heterosexual or gay male relationships. Furthermore, women who have been involved with both men and women reported higher rates of abuse from their female partners.[21]"
A lot of women do this stuff. But it's still abusive.
Florabelle, I support you in making sure you are never abused. But you are not going about it in an effective way. (And, as others have said, you are being abusive yourself.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by FloraBelle
Usually an abuser starts with a slap or shoves you, not an immediate Chris Brown thing.
No. Usually an abuser starts with being just a little bit controlling, often in very early dating.
He (of course it can be a she, but for simplicity I will say he) will do things like say you dress too sexy when you go out, or ask you to change your hair. Then he progresses to disapproving -- subtly at first -- of your connections with friends and family.
Over time, bit by bit so you don't notice, you end up walking on eggshells around him, always worried he will get upset over something. And getting upset might just mean being petulant. It's the effect on YOU that is important. You also find yourself without close friendships and distanced from your family, geographically or emotionally.
He may not start the verbal abuse until all that is in place. Or he might, if you tolerate it.
The physical abuse often doesn't start until years later, when you are so used to being treated badly and so socially isoolated that he can get away with it.
Your tests won't work, and they are hurting your partners. Google some lists of 'warning signs of abusive relationships' for more info.
There's really no ironclad way in making sure that you don't get abused. What you can do, though, is educate yourself on the dynamics of abusive relationships, and take your time getting to know someone. If someone is truly abusive, they don't need your provocation. They'll manufacture their own. NilaJones is right, abuse doesn't start with hitting, it starts with controlling behaviors that can be misinterpreted as caring, and slowly escalate from there. Learn to see the red flags,and get out if you see them.
One thing that no one's mentioned yet is that, not only could the man that you're testing "snap" and really hurt you, he could just call the cops and have you arrested. There's a growing realization in this society that both males AND females can be perpetrators of abuse. Your sh*t test may just have negative legal repercussions for yourself. Take this seriously.
And, you need to get yourself mentally healthy before you attempt to pursue a relationship, if you hope to have a good one. Healthy people don't verbally abuse people to try to provoke them into violence.
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