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Unless you can show me a couple of good peer reviewed studies, I call BS. I've never heard this and I read a lot. I also grew up in a police family, my brother was a cop for 30 years and I worked as a dispatcher a little. Sorry, never saw it at home, and never heard it. In fact, my dad was a cop in the days before "domestic violence" was a common term. He told me they took care of it the old fashioned way. If the police were called to a family disturbance, and the old man had been bouncing the wife off the walls, the cops, (there was always two) would take him outside and bounce him around and warned him it would get worse if they ever had to come back. That usually took care of the problem.
I re read your post...is there a reason you placed domestic violence in quotes? This infers it is not really a problem. Like if I said : "Diabetes" used to be ......or how about "cancer" used to be treated by having a priest do an exorcism and it seemed to tKe care of the problem. Very curious to hear why you place quotes around it. "Child molestation" used to be handled by just pretending it never happened. ?
My opinion is that many police officers are indeed a high rate of sociopath narcissistic psychopaths, who have just been smart enough to never get caught doing any illegal activities. They are the same as the thugs they arrest on a daily basis. Except they take it out on their wives.
One issue that has always concerned me about wives of officers, federal agents, and military wives, they fear reporting abuse, because it will involve their husbands jobs. Thus, the abuse escalates beyond what it would, if a wife reported earlier.
I have personally been in a situation where I was afraid to report...
Some good points, but there is more to it than just not wanting to get him in trouble at his job. The nature of being in LE makes it much more dangerous to try to leave, bc...cops esp if they have advanced to a detective level etc Are personally acquainted w kniwing how to find someone, they also know where all the shelters are or can find out, they have connections, training and posesion of a firearm etc etc, a dominating personality that refuses to respect the boundaries and wishes of others , also spousal rape in alot of cases etc
I ve never heard this, the few cops I know personally are all good spouses and parents.
But whether you have heard of certain statistics, or whether people you know don't contribute to certain statistics, have nothing to do with the validity of those statistics.
Reasons for higher rates of abuse: Unfinished issues related to feelings of childhood helplessness, fear, etc. (reasons why some people go into law enforcement - basically an unconscious over-compensation tactic) . . . higher rates of alcoholism, job stress, depression (think about your world view when you see nothing but low lifes and it is "never-ending" - you arrest one and twelve more pop up to replace that one).
My father is/was a deal of stereotypes rolled into one:
1) Vitriolic racist and homophobe (incidentally a Republican)
2) Abusive to mom
3) Alcoholic
4) Heavy smoker
5) Spent the household into ruinous debt
6) Ugly divorce
The worst part? Sans the alcoholism and smoking, the other flaws were invisible. My mother's family refused to believe the abuse, and after mom died, we (sister and I) were forced to bring dad back into the house (we were 22 and 20 at the time). He reneged on the agreement to help with the property taxes ($28k gone), and our maternal grandfather refuses to hear it. I have 2 bottles of champagne in waiting for their respective funerals.
But whether you have heard of certain statistics, or whether people you know don't contribute to certain statistics, have nothing to do with the validity of those statistics.
So true, there have been some really good posts here that actually have something substantial to offer but then a few that just basically say " I wont believe it, so there!" Or the useless claim that they know a cop and theyre pretty sure he isnt a wife beater, ( as if those who commit dv are gonna announce it,hello?)
Unless you can show me a couple of good peer reviewed studies, I call BS. I've never heard this and I read a lot. I also grew up in a police family, my brother was a cop for 30 years and I worked as a dispatcher a little. Sorry, never saw it at home, and never heard it. In fact, my dad was a cop in the days before "domestic violence" was a common term. He told me they took care of it the old fashioned way. If the police were called to a family disturbance, and the old man had been bouncing the wife off the walls, the cops, (there was always two) would take him outside and bounce him around and warned him it would get worse if they ever had to come back. That usually took care of the problem.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mondayafternoons
I re read your post...is there a reason you placed domestic violence in quotes? This infers it is not really a problem. Like if I said : "Diabetes" used to be ......or how about "cancer" used to be treated by having a priest do an exorcism and it seemed to tKe care of the problem. Very curious to hear why you place quotes around it. "Child molestation" used to be handled by just pretending it never happened. ?
I think because he's specifically referring to the term itself. That's legit.
I disagree with his premise, however. Or at least I can't tell him what he knows happened isn't true, but that was not always the common outcome. Too often the police would arrive on the scene to find a hysterical, crying woman, and the man would seem calm and stable and convince the cops that she was exaggerating or making up what had happened. The cops and husband would have a wink-wink moment, and nothing would be done. Further, the cops did not have the obligation they have now to make an arrest--if the woman didn't press charges, there were no charges, and she often wouldn't press charges because she was afraid she'd be killed next time if she did.
Even Nicole Simpson became angry with the cops when they came to her home on the domestic violence calls and accused them of letting OJ off the hook all the time because he was a bigtime football player.
I worked with a woman once in New York City. She was married to a cop somewhere in MA, and he always beat her. They had no kids. One day he pointed his gun at her and said he was going to kill her. The next day she went to see her mother, asked her to give her whatever money she could, and she left with one bag and took a bus to NYC. This was back in the 80s, before it was easier to find everyone. She called her mother from time to time, but she told us she could never go home because her husband would kill her if she did. She'd been gone eight years and was working as a secretary.
About two weeks after she told us the story, she got a call from her mother. The cop husband had dropped dead of a heart attack in his early 40s. And the best part was that he'd never divorced her. She got his life insurance.
Cops are notorious for having domestic violence issues.
Do you have a family member/daughter who is married-to or dating a cop? Best advice is to keep an extra vigilant eye out for symptoms of abuse.
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