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Bully for you. Oh snap. Men and women are different. Captain Obvious. Do you have a wife? Ask HER. She'd probably tell you the same thing. Butt OUT. The ladies clearly discussed SEVEN FREAKING YEARS of challenges, fears, successes, experiences etc. If you didn't get it from reading 155 pages of posts you'll NEVER get it.
Why can't you just leave it alone?
The WOMEN had that thread for 7 years.
Then a moderator, apparently a MALE renamed it "MEN and women blah blah blah".
Bad enough he hijacked the topic from WOMEN retiring but he put "MEN" FIRST.
As a poster stated:
Moderator, could you please step in and explain what is happening? We are just a bunch of old women who are alone and retiring or retired -- all we want to do is discuss it. It would really help if you gave your side of the opinion because all I'm trying to do is answer some of the posts. Thanks.
Don't you have some automotive oil to change or something?
You won't be moving into any Golden Girl housing arrangements any time soon so why not let them have their spot? Don't they have ENOUGH STRESS as it is?
The thread was NOT invisible to male eyes. If you were so interested in "learning".
You want it explained? OK - We really couldn't care less what you, [men] think about US RETIRING ALONE.
We had our time with men. Widows, divorcees, never married, women with NO kids or families etc etc. In case you didn't know, MOST women can't be bothered after a certain age. We have children and parents we're still sandwiched in between. Lunatic parents running around naked and setting houses on fire. Fathers sharing all the lewd things they would do to teenage girls they see on the street in a demented madness. Alzheimer's running in our families and wondering are we next. You name it, we have the party going on in OUR lives. Women live longer than men and outnumber men. Women are more likely to get Alzheimers than men. Women are also more likely to be CAREGIVERS than men.
Fragile? Not on your life. How condescending. Yes. That's why we want to just speak with each OTHER on the topic. They were just being POLITE, not fragile. They really wanted to say GTFO - but of course, being "nice"...they wouldn't.
Escort, may I ask: Do you want my opinion even if it means I don't agree with you? If you don't then please skip the next paragraphs because you are not gonna like them. Seriously, skip them if you don't want any criticism.
Ok here I go:
I get the feeling you think most of us think Runningwithscissors' post was angry and your post is rational and emotion free. That is not the reality, not everybody feels the same way you do. I know I don't. I think you are being just as emotional as she was, you are just using passive agressiveness.
I think you are letting your need to prove the world that you are "right" and defensiveness block your empathy. Did you feel any empathy when she described her parents? The experiences she described are very traumatic and she wants her space and want feedback from people who she thinks empathize with her experiences. Why not leave it alone? She is the one in pain, not you, you are not in her shoes. When I say "she" I am also referring to the women in the retirement forum. People want to be around those who they feel empathize with their pain.
I know you probably don't like my answer but that is how I perceive that interaction.
YES, Thank you. !! I wish I had the writing skills to have written this but I've thought it !
Escort, may I ask: Do you want my opinion even if it means I don't agree with you? If you don't then please skip the next paragraphs because you are not gonna like them. Seriously, skip them if you don't want any criticism.
Ok here I go:
I get the feeling you think most of us think Runningwithscissors' post was angry and your post is rational and emotion free. That is not the reality, not everybody feels the same way you do. I know I don't. I think you are being just as emotional as she was, you are just using passive agressiveness.
I think you are letting your need to prove the world that you are "right" and defensiveness block your empathy. Did you feel any empathy when she described her parents? The experiences she described are very traumatic and she wants her space and want feedback from people who she thinks empathize with her experiences. Why not leave it alone? She is the one in pain, not you, you are not in her shoes. When I say "she" I am also referring to the women in the retirement forum. People want to be around those who they feel empathize with their pain.
I know you probably don't like my answer but that is how I perceive that interaction.
To me, your response is suggesting a women only group-therapy, which I don't think belongs in this forum.
I will tell you how I feel even if it sounds irrational. I do feel more comfortable around women. Many men have the tendency of boxing women just because they belong to a certain gender. Others have the tendency to flirt just because you are a woman. Many think our only purpose is to "get a man" "be pretty" and sometimes discussion just get off topic with silly gender generalizations. I think women are less judgmental especially older women who no longer have that social pressure of having a perfect body, a perfect marriage and beautiful children. Maybe you are not like that, but unfortunately many men box women.
I can tell you in real life I was always very disappointed when I had conversations with men and they made comments such as "why do women" "do you as a woman" It just made me feel different, not flattered. Those comments brought me back to reality, this person sees gender above all.
Yes. This. This is also why I tend to prefer women doctors, women service providers, you name it.
To me, your response is suggesting a women only group-therapy, which I don't think belongs in this forum.
That's what you think, and that's not what I think.
If someone opens a thread that says "Truck drivers: Do you enjoy your job?" Is he opening a thread that doesn't belong to this forum because he is referring to a specific group of people? After all this is City Data Forum not a truck driver forum.
That's what you think, and that's not what I think.
If someone opens a thread that says "Truck drivers: Do you enjoy your job?" Is he opening a thread that doesn't belong to this forum because he is referring to a specific group of people? After all this is City Data Forum not a truck driver forum.
And it would be kinda weird to want to understand truck drivers and butt into such a thread if you work as an administrative assistant for a living, right? Same difference.
That's what you think, and that's not what I think.
If someone opens a thread that says "Truck drivers: Do you enjoy your job?" Is he opening a thread that doesn't belong to this forum because he is referring to a specific group of people? After all this is City Data Forum not a truck driver forum.
A better analogy would be
Men, do you like driving truck? Wouldn't women be squealing that they've been excluded, because they drive trucks too?
A better analogy would be
Men, do you like driving truck? Wouldn't women be squealing that they've been excluded, because they drive trucks too?
I wouldn't. They might wanna talk about their own issues, at least that is what the title would suggest. Maybe they wanna talk about meeting "chicks" without being judged as "players" by women or they want to talk about finding the best tree to pee on without being judged as gross. Maybe they want to talk about using rest stop facilities, women know nothing about using urinals or the feelings of showering with other men. However a "know it all" woman might think she knows about those experiences based on what she saw on a movie or read in a internet forum. Anyway I don't even care if their reasons are irrational, if I am not invited I won't participate.
The single woman experience is not the same as man's. This has been covered before. Men tend to have more support, have dozens of women ready to marry them or at least to be his friend. They are usually not expected to be the caregivers of their parents or siblings. Men don't know how it is to be judged as the old lady with 15 cats and men are not familiar with going to a doctor as a woman.
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runswithscissors
Sugah Ray ~
