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I received some butt whippings from my mom and dad's belts. You shouldn't go overboard, but it's also next to impossible to reason with a child.
Some parents like sassy kids, but I'll have none of that in my household. Once a kid gets to age 11-12 or so, your discipline needs to be more nuanced and age appropriate.
All five of we children in our family were spanked, never beaten, when we screwed up. In particular, I was very willful and often chose not to follow rules that for me were arbitrary and unfair. It was a gamble--sometimes I won, other times I was punished. But all five of us are college grads, have very successful careers, married mostly, and are good citizens. We knew our parents loved us and that discipline was necessary.
Yes I did, and it was a terrible experience for me. I was spanked bare bottomed with shoes, belts, ping pong paddles and spatulas. It taught me to fear my parents' anger and to feel shamed and helpless when I was being punished.
I still have a ton of resentment for the way they handled their anger. It felt like a loss of control rather than discipline and it was frightening.
You were beaten by parents who were probably out of control with their anger. You might benefit from counseling to help deal with the resentment. Something other than parenting was going on in your situation. I am sorry that your parents were this way.
Not going to read all the posts as I'm 82 and have been the switch route (personally) along with going that way with my 7 kids who all went the straight line growing up.
Too bad the criminal justice system does not follow the same line of thinking in regards to some punishment.
I used the rolled up newspaper on my two dogs (father and later his son). They were spanked one time and NEVER forgot the fear of the noise the paper made and all I had to do was say "where is my paper" and they quieted down.
As a small child did get the leather strap or ruler on my hands in school that left them RED....those days that was TOO FAR.
The switch or belt will do just fine when used properly.
Singapore goes with the CANING route....does wonders with severe issues.
I was spanked a couple of times I guess, but don't remember the specifics. But then I was a very compliant child and my father was the kind of crusty sort of guy that you just didn't want to find out what MIGHT happen if you really ticked him off. For all practical purposes I neither needed, nor got, spankings and certainly not "whuppings". I ended up staying out of jail, being a good husband and father, and paying my taxes.
I did not use it on my kids, nor feel the need (well, not routinely).
As to the question of whether it's necessary or useful for certain children / adults / situations, I tend to think not. In my view it makes people do the right things for the wrong reasons -- to avoid pain / disapproval / disfavor -- rather than because rightness is its own reward and because it's in your best long term interest and/or that of your loved ones. It also is way too prone to get into abusive behavior, even if you successfully argue that it's not inherently abusive. It's far easier to swat someone than to actually stop and engage with them, and I tend to think of corporeal punishment advocates as lazy.
I got spanked a lot growing up, and I got thrashed a few times as well.My mother was in charge of just about everything at home, dishing out the discipline.She used a slipper,strap,cane and hairbrush on me. I have very bad memories of my childhood. Getting spanked was deeply humiliating, especially when she did it in front of people. I didn't know anyone who didn't get spanked growing up. We also got plenty of discipline at school. And when I got home after getting smacked or spanked at school, mother would give me another for good measure.
As i grew older my mother and I grew further apart. She dies two years ago and I don't miss her.
It is possible to be strict with children without physical discipline. When our kids play up, then they go to bed early. They really don't like this punishment so they tend to behave.
My childhood memories of my discipline are still very vivid and unpleasant.
I'm not against spanking, but I can't help remembering my experiences being attacked by my mother for no reason when she was in a drunk rage and frustrated with her own life.
NO child should be hit in any way, never mind with a belt.. for gods sake what kind of parents does cruel things like this... its only to get out their own anger and frustration.. and should never be allowed...if you hit an adult you can be jailed so why not the same ... and isnt it just bullying when a child is defenceless and cant hit back... its horrible and Im in shock that some said it done them good.. all it does is show pain gets results, ..... fear...
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