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My parents practiced corporeal punishment, so did my grade school. I never was paddled much past age seven, the thought alone kept me in line. It seems the main problem is when parents do it in anger, then children feel insecure.
I got spanked as a child & turned out just fine. Maybe my generation was just tougher then those in the past 20 years or so. Some here tend to use the word beat & try to get other's to believe that it's child abuse. I would bet if more parents spanked their kids then just maybe kids today would be more respectful towards others these days.
BIG difference between a spanking & a beating. I know because my step dad & my dad would do both. My dad & I used to get into fist fights.
I was spanked, but I don't even remember it lol I only know because my mom has told me the stories about why I was spanked and when. It wasn't very often. One time was because I ran into the road
I got spanked as a child. Usually via hand or wooden spoon. It was an interesting process, one I will practice when I have children of my own.
It starts with myself doing something I wasn't suppose and knowing that I was breaking the rules. I would get the 'spank stare' from one of my parents. This was my cue to go and grab the wooden spoon from the drawer and bring it to one of my parents. I would get spanked for however hard and long the sentencing was for whatever rule I broke. After the spanking I had to return the spoon to the drawer, set a timer to 10-30 minutes, and then sit in the timeout corner.
Now the spanking part wasn't that bad. I was rarely bruised on my bottom and the after-pain never lasted for more then 10 minutes. My parents were not beating me stupid. The worst part of the whole situation was having to retrieve the spoon itself, walking back with the spoon, and then setting the timer for my own timeout. Some of the longest walks of my life were spent getting and returning that spoon.
There is spanking and then there is beating your child. It shouldn't take a psychologist to determine which is which.
That's pretty good... I can see the anguish in that walk.
I got spanked as well. I did it to my kids. I made sure they understood why they were getting it. I don't think my youngest got enough of it though. He can be mouthy at times. The older ones must have worn me down.
I am with you on the spanking versus beating. There should be pain. There should not be injury.
I was spanked. Very rarely, but it happened. It was rare enough that I actually have no real standout memories of it, but I know it was a form of discipline used. It was typical for parenting in my parents' generation and culture, and I don't fault them or consider myself abused.
I won't do it myself, because I'm more aware of more effective and agreeable (to me) means of dealing with behavioral issues. My stance is based on behavioral sciences research that wasn't accessible to people of my parents' era.
Wow I didn't realize how old this thread was. Yes, I got a butt whipping at school and at home if needed. I now suffer from a condition called 'respect for others', and the way I feel about it now is it needs to make a comeback in the schools most definitely. Too many kids are getting away with too much these days to where they think they are running things when in reality they are only running their mouth!
Beating a child is horrible, but talking to them, telling them why they are getting spanked and then doing it while controlled. Is that all bad? Should it be illegal?
Your thoughts?
I got a whap on the backside once in a while. I remember thinking that I just wanted to hit my parents back. Didn't teach me a dang thing except anger.
Spanking is a sign of bad parenting. If if you have to resort to that, you need a few classes in child psychology, because there are other ways of getting through to a child without using violence.
Yes. Quite a few occasions. I was quite a polite child as well. Probably due to all of that physical and verbal discipline stemming back to the years I do not have total recall. End Result is I am a very disciplined adult with enviable values.
At truly young ages you know it is ID, EGO, Superego and reasoning with those stages I recall, particularly as an elder brother to my younger siblings, is not feasible but pain or the threat therefore was what kept us inline. Mom only had to bark and we knew what to change in our behavior. Youthful exuberance.
Corporal Punishment is but a tool in parenting to shape a child towards a successful conclusion- full functioning adults.
I got spanked as a child & turned out just fine. Maybe my generation was just tougher then those in the past 20 years or so. Some here tend to use the word beat & try to get other's to believe that it's child abuse. I would bet if more parents spanked their kids then just maybe kids today would be more respectful towards others these days.
BIG difference between a spanking & a beating. I know because my step dad & my dad would do both. My dad & I used to get into fist fights.
It's not really about "I experienced this and I'm fine," though, or "I guess kids were just tougher then," or even "People are so PC and sensitive and quick to label things "abuse.""
It's more about large differences in what has been studied, researched, and is now understood about the nature of learning and conditioning as relates to behavior, what sorts of interventions succesfully shape behavior for the long term, what interventions actually run a higher likelihood of increasing nonpreferred behavior or contributing to other unforeseen consequences (such as inadvertently reinforcing things like aggression). It's generally understood now that modeling and reinforcing appropriate behavior, and enacting carefully considered behavioral consequences is more effective over the long term than simply punishing.
If you want to change behavior for the long-term, there are more effective and ways to do so than spanking, and ones that promote a healthier parent-child relationship. Not spanking doesn't mean "no boundaries," "no rules," or "no expectations," either. There are many differences between authoritative and authoritarian parenting, and spanking is solidly authoritarian, IMO. Authoritative parenting is recognized as the healthiest and most effective approach.
Corporal Punishment is but a tool in parenting to shape a child towards a successful conclusion- full functioning adults.
There are better and more effective tools, though.
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