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I got spanked as a child. Usually via hand or wooden spoon. It was an interesting process, one I will practice when I have children of my own.
It starts with myself doing something I wasn't suppose and knowing that I was breaking the rules. I would get the 'spank stare' from one of my parents. This was my cue to go and grab the wooden spoon from the drawer and bring it to one of my parents. I would get spanked for however hard and long the sentencing was for whatever rule I broke. After the spanking I had to return the spoon to the drawer, set a timer to 10-30 minutes, and then sit in the timeout corner.
Now the spanking part wasn't that bad. I was rarely bruised on my bottom and the after-pain never lasted for more then 10 minutes. My parents were not beating me stupid. The worst part of the whole situation was having to retrieve the spoon itself, walking back with the spoon, and then setting the timer for my own timeout. Some of the longest walks of my life were spent getting and returning that spoon.
There is spanking and then there is beating your child. It shouldn't take a psychologist to determine which is which.
Me and my siblings all got spanked a few times when we were kids. Looking back, we were really not bad kids, but every now and then would do something stupid. When we got a spanking, it was no doubt that we did something to deserve it. I don't regret those few times and me and all my siblings turned out just fine.
I feel that spankings are only appropriate with very small children, and even then very rarely and with verbal warning and NEVER in anger. By age 5, there are other methods of discipline that are less traumatic and more effective. The only reason it makes sense for a 2 year old is that a 2 year old is like a little wild creature that can't be reasoned with. I've watched defiant toddlers scream "I HATE YOU!" at parents, hit parents, hurt themselves and others, and grin defiance in the face of the parent who is trying to be all calm and say, "Now Johnny, do you want a time out in the corner?"
Also to be noted...when you're spanking a small kid, they are usually wearing a diaper. It's not about the pain. It's about a physical jolt to regain control of a kid that is not able to control themselves.
Most of the people I've ever seen beat the %^& out of their kids were -in fact- a member of the black community. The lady above in question that I described earlier was white. I wouldn't even try to dispute that; that is absolutely true that physical beatings happen often in the African American population. The majority of white Americans do not do this, however. I am white and it's actually RARE unless you go down into the deep south. Lots of hillbillies still employ corporal punishment. To me.. that shows a distinct lack of intelligence to whip your kids over coming up with more reasonable ways of teaching them instead.
It was highly inaccurate of you to assume that *MOST* Americans still beat their kids. Most members of the African American community, perhaps. "Most people in the U.S." as you stated earlier DO NOT.
If you look at the rest of the stats in the article it shows that the majority in every racial group of parents still hit their kids. Blacks the most, Asians the least, but still the majority. Have you a study showing otherwise?
never whipped---my brothers and I seemed to need a bare ass paddling about once or twice a yr thru high school mom and dad were great parents so never seemed to be a big deal when we needed a paddling we just got it and it hurt on our butts however, like seemed to go along fine afterward so it was not a really bad thing but it did hurt as I guess it needed to
Oh i understood what you meant. I just chose to not humor you.
Perhaps to you a father like that isnt one to be proud of but for me it is.
A person who is against spanking will never understand one who isnt.
This.
yes, I got, as we say "whooped" as a kid. BUT usually when they occurred, it was when my brother and I did something stupid or defiant, and we knew better.
But where I live, whooping is normal. Everyone in my family has been whooped before, and nobody was ever traumatized by it. And it was, you did what adults told you because they said so lol. I do not believe corporal punishment in itself is abusive. But it can become abuse if taken too far, or a perverse level.
For example, grounding your children. Normal, and nothing bad about it. Locking them in closets or under the stairs for hours is perverse and abusive. Just for small example.
Terrible to read what kind of reasons made some parents to spank their kids, some are the situations when actually parent should be spanked instead.
Some kids are impossible to handle but most of them learn by talking and discussions, cleaning and fixing things they broke and other ways.
You cannot teach adults by spanking either so why would not teach adult ways since beginning. Kids are not stupid.. Most kids are not, lol
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